April Fools - suggestions?

#1
OKay guys and gals, you know the score. Small window of "opportunity" to wind up various.

What were / are the best ones that the ARRSE massive can come up with?

Will check back later, in the meantime, off to hang more spaghetti on the tree outside.

Alternately, feel free to post nominations.
 
#2
i've just told people i broke my arm and needed 44 internal stitches attempting squats in a gym,wish it was an april fools trick!!! :x
 
#4
Wing nut tree

"Hot dry summer" long range forecast.

Get your commercial pilots licence in 5 days advert.

Meat free T bone steaks on special offer.

"Unleaded" flamethrowers to be introduced to the Army's arsenal.
 

NigG

Old-Salt
#5
Bit of an oldie - Leave an urgent message to contact Mr Lyon on a colleagues desk inputting the number of the local zoo on the message.
 
#8
Ring Jesus College and ask "Is that Jesus?" When they reply "Yes" simply say "Good luck for Sunday then!" and hang up.


Call them back and christmas, repeat opening gambit but when they say "Yes" sing Happy birthday to them. Do it at midnight after the pub. They won't mind, they are used to it...

Unlike the Salvation Army, who when phoned once and asked "Do you save fallen women" replied "Yes". I replied "Good, can you save one for me, I'll be round about ten to collect her." Humourless sods.
 
#9
One year, probably 1992 .....( did we have a General Election 1992? )..... I went into work around lunchtime, for a afternoon shift, and my colleague asked if I had been caught out by any April Fools. I told him that I'd seen a bizarre April Fool on TV that morning. I told him about this spoof Election Ad I'd seen, for the Natural Law Party, with all these folk doing Yogic Flying on a mattress.

He said "Nah!!!!!!! Bovvy, you plonker!!!!! That wasn't an April Fool. That was REAL." :omg:
 
#10
The Labour Election pledges....
 
#11
bovvy said:
One year, probably 1992 .....( did we have a General Election 1992? )..... I went into work around lunchtime, for a afternoon shift, and my colleague asked if I had been caught out by any April Fools. I told him that I'd seen a bizarre April Fool on TV that morning. I told him about this spoof Election Ad I'd seen, for the Natural Law Party, with all these folk doing Yogic Flying on a mattress.

He said "Nah!!!!!!! Bovvy, you plonker!!!!! That wasn't an April Fool. That was REAL." :omg:
I saw that ad as well, made dwarf throwing seem normal, quality. :D
 
#12
InVinoVeritas said:
The Labour Election pledges....
IVV - Off thread, but where does all your anger come from? I had a look at all your posts yesterday and you seem to post very little except to vent your spleen against Europe/Labour et al
 
#14
Fat_Cav said:
InVinoVeritas said:
The Labour Election pledges....
IVV - Off thread, but where does all your anger come from? I had a look at all your posts yesterday and you seem to post very little except to vent your spleen against Europe/Labour et al
It isnt off thread... have you seen that manifesto? An April fools joke would be at least harmless.

My anger comes from seeing what they have done to my country old boy, that and knowing that some of our fellow soldiers are dead due to their lies and neglect. :x

OK... back to topic now!
 

udipur

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
What's happened to the traditional BMW adverts? There always used to be a full pager in the rag for a chuckle in the morning.

My favourite was about there being a slew of fake 3 series and the advert laid out a series of test to ascertain if you had the real deal. The final test was about comfort and it would be a genuine model if you could lie on your back on the front seat and place your soles of your feet on the top of the windscreen.

Reminds me of....
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
I've just sent an enquiry to the Police Firearms Dept that covers my area.

I asked if it was OK to store a Katyusha BM-13 on behalf of a client, and if it was covered by my Firearms Dealer's Licence.

I'll let you know what the reply is.
 
#19
Fellow NAAFI ARRSEr's - I thank you!

@Cuddles - have emailed several Jesus' in the address book, phone calls seem insensitve at this time of year. Nipping round to the Sally Army later.

@wb - the unleaded flamethrower... You just know that Abbey Wood have spent millions on it.

@artemis - thanks for that - have shamelessly nicked the link for Facebook. Just knowing that all too many of my "friends" will do the hook, line, sinker routine. Currently amused at the "congratulations" on my status "happy that my daughter is now on solids" - Not bad for a fourteen year-old (who's had major dental work in the last 24hrs).

...and gingerslime, can I refer you to carlbcfc's earlier response!
 
#20
udipur said:
What's happened to the traditional BMW adverts? There always used to be a full pager in the rag for a chuckle in the morning.

Reminds me of....
There's one in the Indie- suggesting that they'll personalise the BMW roundel for you depending on which political party you plan to vote for... sweet of them!
 
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