Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by Padrat, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig

    His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity

    I would not allow this employee to breed

    This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't be

    Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap

    When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet

    This young lady has delusions of adequacy

    He sets low personal standards then consistently fails to achieve them

    This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot

    This employee should go far and the sooner the better

    Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together

    A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus

    He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless

    He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier

    I would like to go hunting with him sometime

    This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar

    He's been working with glue too much

    He would argue with a signpost

    He has a knack of making strangers immediately

    He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room

    When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell

    If you see two people talking and one looks bored he's the other one

    A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens

    A prime candidate for natural deselection

    Donated his brain to science before he was done using it

    Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming

    Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it

    If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week

    If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change

    If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean

    It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm

    One neuron short of a synapse

    Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he just gargled

    Takes him 1 and 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes

    The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead

    The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship

    I would not breed from this Officer

    He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction

    He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle

    Technically sound, but socially impossible

    This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere

    When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably

    He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age

    This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better

    In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet
  2. erm not a good joke