Apparently, I mispoke...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Jun 23, 2008.

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  1. For some reason the fellow took offense.

    There I was in a neighbourhood pub and in walks a youngish chap with a hot young thing du jour on his arm.. she is well endowed and pleased to show them off in a low cut, semi- diaphanous slip of a dress.

    Having had one, possibly two drinks, though I may have miscounted. I approached and admired gawd's [ or, possibly a skilled surgeon's ] handiwork and offered a compliment to the young woman.

    " Lovely boobs, miss.. ever think of displaying them professionally? "

    Her escort, for some reason, was not intrigued at the possiblity that her assets could earn her a significant return on her ' investment ' or open her to a new career possibility and burbled some inarticulate rant that began:

    " Wha/the/F**k/you/ol/basserd?"

    and followed this up with a fist toward my nose. As I parried his blow with my beer mug which cost me not only a considerable amount of the contents but the breaking of the glass as well, I was sure I noticed the young woman smiling and giving me a wink..

    I wasn't able to confirm this as two rather large gentlemen escorted me out of the premises and mistook a dumpster for my ride home.
  2. There are some touchy b@stards out there, mainly useless civvies. Point out their faults and they get all snotty until physically subdued.

    Did the skip get you home or just part-way?
  3. Never mind,another pair will be along soon.
    Sun out now,tit Monday I hope!
  4. You got everything you deserved you t wat. The two large gentlemen should also have given you a lesson in manners. Pillock!!
  5. strweth:

    I have pondered your words in the cold, clear light of a sober morning and find them uncommonly rude.

    I was polite and gentlemanly in my approach to the young woman in question and, though I admit, neglected to properly introduce myself before speaking, I did offer a compliment on her ' attributes'.. I fail to see why anyone should have been offended as, if she had not wished to draw attention to her norks, she wouldn't have put them so obviously on display for male enjoyment. I saw no ' reserved ' sign on them indicating they were offered for the sole pleasure of her companion/escort so I felt - um - moved- to offer my appreciation of her effort at enhancing the patrons of the establishment some additional drinking/dining enjoyment.

    The dumpster was most fragrant and spacious BTW, but, sadly, a very slow means of transportation.
  6. Some people have no humour do they Rocketeer?

  7. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Love your new tee shirt. Shows them off beautifully!
  8. People have no sense of humour.

    Just like the woman who slapped a restraining order on me.

    If she didn't want me to look at her she should have closed her curtains :lol:
  9. I understand where your coming from Mr Rocketeer. As far as I'm concerned boobies that are proudly displayed deserve a well placed comment. I love the challenge of obtaining incidental booby rubs when girls squeeze by the folded elbows, and if you are really lucky, a double bump.

    This guy I knew at the pub used to bring his girlfriend quite often, she was great looking and sported a pair of 42" pumped up titties. Impressive in itself, she would however stroll around wearing low cut tops etc. One time she came in with no bra and only two strips of expensive cloth draped over the nips. The side view was awesome, the front view was awesome and naturally every guy in the bar was ogling them. I was engaged in conversation with the pair of them (the couple that is not the boobs....cough) when she started complaining about the looks she was getting. I explained as best I could. Carla I said " this is how it works, you look at me, I look at your face, you look at Dave and I scope your knockers. The wifey talks to me, I talk to her, she goes outside I scope your knockers, and every guy here is doing the same thing". Dave (technically the owner of these impressive orbs) sat there with a smug grin and said feck all.

    Moral of the story....

    Ladies, if you don't want guys scoping your rounded melons then dress appropriately. :)
  10. My dear Rocket Man, I apologise for being uncommonly rude, brought about by a surfeit of a rather fine Armagnac, however I reserve the right to rearrange anyones face if for instance they approach any female companion I may be with, with uncalled for remarks about her norks or any other part of her anatomy on show or otherwise. Her desires to grace any establishment, escort or male patrons therein with her attributes does not constitute an offer of lascivious remarks cast in her direction.

    Your rationale that she should'nt have put them on display smacks of that tired old herring we've heard so many times before and oft used by rapists who simply could'nt exercise any self control at the sight of a well turned ankle.

    A gentleman simply does'nt need to make these type of comments. Drooling copiously down ones shirt front is however permissable in the circumstances.

  11. Strewth:

    I certainly appreciate your approach to this..However, I felt that a verbal acknowledgement of her effort to contribute an ' uplifting experience' to an otherwise mundane establishment was preferable to my standing there, slack-jawed, drooling into my tankard, suggestive as that was of my being mentally deficient or suffering from some form of dementia.

    Her magnificent protruberances were of such spendour that It seemed only right to suggest that more than one person should enjoy them at one time and, as an adjunct, she could contribute to her own financial security while bringing pleasure [ however fleeting] to a room full of entranced males.

    She obviously was not shy on displaying them and should have been compensated for her generousity in sharing. Personally, I think her escort overreacted or was just being selfish, and should have merely smiled and enjoyed the admiration and jealousy other men in the room had for his ability to pull such quality tottie.

    I don't blame the large gentlemen who came to assist my departure as they were merely doing their duty as laid down in R&R, and, I will admit, that the dumpster was better accommodation to some of the usual spots I have found myself after a round or two with drink and follow-up fisticuffs, though it could have used a coat of paint and WD40 on the hinges.
  12. Not all norks are as accessible as others, and sometimes all we can do is admire them from afar...

    Attached Files:

  13. Of course the real tragedy here is that beer was spilled. 8O
    A damn shame and completely inexcusable.
  14. Strewth, "rape" is an ugly word. Here in the NAAFI we prefer to use either "mainly consensual" or "surprise" sex to describe the act of love between a man and a frightened, possibly tied up, woman.
  15. agreed