Apologies for the twat post - though armoured infantry do please have a butchers

Discussion in 'Infantry' started by thebreadsultan, Jan 14, 2011.

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  1. I attempted to post this in the arrse hole but was not to be. (though its probably where this belongs)

    I used to read ARRSE and found it a very good site, right up until the home orifice in its infinite wisdom decided not to grant me British citizenship even tho as a western European ive lived here since I was 6 and only wanted a passport so I could join up - which I made known on the form (apparently you have to attend some kind of camp in Pakistan to get a British passport these day's - still at least as an "EU citizen" I have more rights in this country than someone who is British - thank you mr government - good move :clap:)

    anyway - I'm writing a story that perhaps one day will be a book - and yes I am aware that day will probably be the day after Cherie Blair takes part in hit ITV1 show "I'm having an enema of talent get me out of here" - still one must be creative when possible.

    There is a scene where a bunch of veteren hard core bastards are jumping out of an APC. I'm trying to describe what is going through their heads just before the door opens - and having read it i realise that what i have is a pile of ****. Not even a **** into posh kleenex. a scratchy Lidl ****.

    I have this:
    The men of Echo-3 ready their weapons, check suit integrity and each performs in his mind his own warrior ritual. Nilus, corporal tactical assault Zero-Alpha, recounts past victories. Golgo, lance corporal tactical assault Zero-Alpha, thinks of a river. Biron, Sergeant tactical assault engineer Zero-Alpha, remembers Earth.

    which I think sounds like contrived balls - and IS.

    so i was hoping to ask some of you guys that have actually experienced it.
    when your in a APC about to deploy - whats your "warrior ritual"?

    what goes through your mind in the moments before that door opens and you charge out into the unknown?

    do you think of the drills?
    worry about snipers?
    Booby traps?
    A loved one?
    or just that you wish you had gone for a slash back at base?

    any input will be greatfuly received

    many thanks and who knows, perhaps one day we'll meet on a Nato or European defence force training mission - besides my country is always making use of your hills, so perhaps it wont be that different after all
     
  2. Did you apply for naturalisation?
     
  3. yes. 700 quid down the drain. 96% on the quiz (got the one about life peers wrong)
    which is the most money I have spent on a single thing in my life.
    the Irony that it costs more to have a bunch of paper pushers push paper than a squady makes in a month was not lost on me.

    but hey - Someone has to make DEFRA look good right?
     
  4. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    I wish I had that dump!!
     
  5. I was just worried that the guy behind me might touch my bottom with the palm of his hand and infect me with the gay.
     
  6. noones ever going to touch your bottom after that thing with the omlette
     
  7. In all fairness, I poo from my chest, apart from Mucus, my bottom is pretty safe.
     
  8. I usually think about pussy. In fact that's all I ever think about, really.
     
  9. I think I've left the oven on.
     
  10. no you haven't but you did leave the door unlocked
     
  11. I shouldn't be too worried about the book - I was under the impression that contrived balls is the industry standard?
    You could try having them think about the draft for their upcoming novel "Deep Six"?