Anyone who's dealt with NTL will enjoy this

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by stoatman, Mar 15, 2005.

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  1. Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...have a laugh and
    read on.
    Complaint Letter of the Year. The British do have a way with words.... A real-life customer complaint
    letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....)
    I also had some less than pleasant dealings with NTL - they insisted on having 3 different bills with 3 different standing orders for their 3-in-1 package!
  2. Aye my mother is being continually harrassed by a bunch of spotty 16 year olds re an NTL account I cancelled for her TWO years ago.

    It is now in the hands of her soliciters.

  3. Benjamin.....

    As the account holder, the only person who can cancel your Mum's account, is your Mum! No notice of cancellation can be taken from anybody else.

    Due to the Data Protection Act, you shouldn't even be able to access her account, Benjamin, unless of course, she has given you authorisation,.... but you still wouldn't be able to disconnect the account.

    Now how do I know this? :roll: :wink:
  4. Mummy !
  5. i have unpleasant experience of being connected to the Scottish robot woman, she is fukin annoying
  6. Funny thing is I have had a NTL 3in1 account for over 3 years. I get 1 invoice a month, and other than the odd downtime & speed issue of my Broadband Connection via my Set-Top Box (Not Modem) I have had little problems with them. I moved house last may, and they re-connected me on the day of the move at no charge.

    Someone has to be happy! Sorry
  7. NTL are a joke. I used NTL for about 3 weeks. Says it all dunnit

    That letter was the best letter I have ever read. :p
  8. I "helped" my mother cancel the a/c by writing down what she should write and/or say on the phone.
  9. Oddly we have few problems with our NTL connection, it dies occsaoinally, but itis rare to say the least.

    I'm pissed off at 3, i installed some software on my PC, now it no longer recognises USB ports...

  10. A quick "my sister's called rachael" moment I admit, but :-

    Notice how Primey is allowed to link to the nitro-net forums in his profile here, & they wouldn't even allow the smallest hint of a link to ARRSE (let alone ultimate farce) on their site.


  11. Now those who know me, know I am a calm and rational person but after the council cut through my NTL cable line at the weekend, I promptly phoned their customer service department to get it reconnected. They don't work weekends, the cnuts.

    0800 Monday I am on the phone and placed on hold for 20 mins. When the arrogant little shite that answered the phone told me that I would be charged £50 for the privellege of reconnection and it would be two days before anyone came out. I lost it. I can see my old WO from the parade ground with a tear of pride in his eye.

    Worried cries of calm down please weree coming from the other end, worsed when he told me there were no managers in at that time. I almost felt sorry for the wee barsteward NOT!

    But never fear the fish is back!
  12. You wonder why it's calledd NTL?

    Nasty Twisted Liars.

    Whats worse is It's just to expensive to switch to BT, and NTL are the cheapest around.

    (Although intrestingly they still ahve me at my old address from 3 year's ago (I've moved twice since then), and my name's wrong.

    Yet my bil larives at my address in my name perfectly every month, odd that.
  13. i'm with telewest who i believe are actually the same people, but what amuses me about that letter is the "annoying robot scottish woman" cos whenever i've had to ring them, its been an irritatingly chirpy geordie bloke!
  14. Thank god it's not just me and Mrs C who have had to deal with those cnuts at NTL.

    Before we got hitched, I was living the single life in Bulford in a room that came complete with NTL phoneline. 'Aha!' I thought, 'I'll be cunning and get NTLworld as well - and save money!'

    (Please don't start laughing yet)

    After being told that the technician bloke would be round the following MOnday, I asked for the afternoon off so I could RV with him at the mess. No show. Or the next day. Or the next day. After spending most of the 4th day in a phone queue, I re-arranged the tech bloke, who eventually arrived 3 hours late. 'Sorry mate - I thought it was the other Bulford.'

    Once connected, I started to receive bills for calls I never made, and bills for Internet Broadband I didn't have. Suffice to say that once hitched, I moved from NTL to BT in our new MQ - and cancelled all the NTL stuff accordingly. When they asked why, I expalined and told them I was going back to BT. I also asked if my NTLworld account would still work - it's only a phone number after all. 'Of course it will, Sir' said the smug little NTL peon.

    Once in the palatial residence that is Chez Calypso, I discovered (painfully over the course of 6 weeks) that:

    a. NTL hadn't cancelled my phone account - and I kept getting bills.

    b. NTLworld doesn't work if you don't have an NTL phone line. 'That's pretty obvious Sir' quoth a different NTL peon.

    c. If you threaten NTL with a bad faith lawsuit, they will back down instantly and cancel any outstanding bills.

    I would rather rely on carrier pigeons then ever go with NTL again.