Anyone want to come on a cruise?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ravers, May 1, 2009.

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  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    A mate just sent me this, could be fun and I think we might be able to wangle it as adventurous training.

    Special cruise 2009 offer for adventurous travelers.

    I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan ) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania ).

    The cost is a bit high @ $800 per person double occupancy but I didn't find that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise.

    If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master blacksmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon.

    The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates.

    Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package:

    $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

    M-16 full auto rental $25.00/day - ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armour piercing ammo at $15.95

    Ak-47 rifle @ No charge - ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at $14.95

    Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle rental $55.00/day - ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armour piercing at $9.95

    Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).

    Far Out ---- they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads

    "Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

    Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

    Most cruises offer a mini-bar.

    These gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this .....

    "MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"

    Sign my arse up!

    They advertise group rates and corporate discounts...... and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"

    They even offer a partial money back guarantee if not satisfied.

    Here's some text from the ad:

    "We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo ( mini gun charges not included)..

    How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking?

    We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots.

    We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia.

    At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before Feb 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the calibre of your choice."

    As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials:

    "I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"----
    Lars , Hamburg Germany

    "Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English"
    Ned, Salt Lake city , Utah USA

    I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim--reminds me of a drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam" –
    "chopper' Dan ----Toledo USA.

    "Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.---
    Zeke-Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA
  2. Sign me up :twisted:
  3. Is this an advert for Carlsberg?

    If Carlsberg did stag parties.........
    If Carlsberg did holiday cruises.......
  4. Nearly had me you bugger!
  5. seconded :twisted: :twisted:
  6. If only ! Will there be cabaret ?
  7. Thirded :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

    A suggestion: Break out the venerable HMS Victory out of dry dock and sail her down. Sailing speed should be adequate without looking suspicious and when Somali Simbad gets close give 'em a full broadside of grapeshot and top it off with volley fire with brown besses from the deck. The Barretts can be housed in the crows nest if you really want. :lol:
  8. This is too good to be true. Sign me up
  9. That and "Sailors"
  10. What a brilliant 'stuff the tree huggers' 'VIGILANTE'(my bold) idea..'Q' ships with a modern the bit about crying like babies...but the downside/upside is they'll learn quickly but perhaps all small/medium craft will be that bit safer...they'll only go for the big stuff.... :D
  11. Not a problem, we can borrow the Old QE2 with HM 'Aunty Betty's permission of course and go really tooled up!!! :lol:
  12. I was wondering what to spend my bounty on.... :rambo: I wonder would they tolerate raiding parties ashore? Give them a bit of their own medicine.
  13. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

  14. I like one of the comments on that page.

    During world war 1 they were known as Q Boats!

    The Russians do have some good ideas at times and l'll bet there are going to be alot less Hijackings out there.