Anyone remember that nearly-millionaire Major??

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Invictus_88, Sep 19, 2003.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I live in Wiltshire, not all-that far from where that disgraced-Major lives. (what regiment was he anyway??)
    Well the poor impoverished-fool has sold his house and has applied for a council-house.
    Rather a fall-from glory.
    You see i used to attend the cub-scouts when i was a lad and one of the helpers on it (horrid woman) and she lives next-door.

    So, alas, the dishonourable cheat has applied for the council-house next-door...he has to live next-door to a woman who keeps goats in her back-garden!

    Oh the comedy!

    Anyone suggest any other suitable punishments? He didn't exactly help the reputation of our army.

  2. hmmm punishments...being forced to look at naked pictures of cherie blair? 8O

    if you ask me there would be nothing more terrifying that that
  3. Oh the horror, mental-image is burning the back of my eyelids at this very moment!
  4. it would be only for the most brave person on this earth or someone drunk 24/7 to look a tthat...
  5. ..oh, i'm not so sure...what if you were returning from the "United States of Iraq" having not seen anything female but stray bitches (the dog-variety!).

    I've never been in that situation but my judgement of good-looks was altered after 12days without female contact...goodness knows what it's done to our brave chaps in the desert!
  6. but you would have to be pretty starved to like that gargoyle, but anythings possible...just thought of another punishment maybe a tad over the top get his nads gunned down by a sniper?
  7. You boys are too fussy. I'd bang Cherie like a lavvy door! :wink:
  8. heeeheee.....wait you were serious? 8O

    i personally think no one deserves that, not even the disgraced major.
  9. Just imagine the mad majors wife and Cherie Bliar clam jousting and using a large variety of industrial strength latex toys with names such as 'Big Anal Arnie' and 'Double ended Sonic Thruster, 14 inch delux version'. Aghhh, the picture makes me want to go out and set light to a vagrant with lighter fluid then lick the front bottom of twenty five Albanian washer women after they have just completed an ACFT.

    Id rather have an image in me head of a litter of Spaniel pups getting rogered by Jonathan King whilst Michael Hessaltine inserts his digit finger up Mo Mowlams tea towel holder!!!!

    PS You do not want to be in my mind.

    Harsh but essentialy fair.
  10. It seems you don't want to be in your mind right now?

    What was it, a tough day at the office dear?
  11. Woops, being a member of the WRAC and the Royal guild of blanket stackers does not entitle you to comment on us real soldiers and how we spend our spare time. When you come through my office for a conversion, I will then and only then justify your existance.

    Quiz show cheat Charles Ingram has received a two year conditional discharge over two counts of insurance fraud at Bournemouth Crown Court.

    The 41-year-old former army major, who was found guilty in April of trying to con the ITV quiz show, was convicted earlier this month of two counts of defrauding an insurance company out of £30,000.

    Judge Samuel Wiggs told Bournemouth Crown Court that Ingram, of the High Street, Easterton, Wiltshire, was a man who had already been severely punished as he had lost out financially and was on the brink of bankruptcy.

    Ingram, who was forced to resign his army commission in August this year, appeared to be on the verge of tears as the sentence was delivered.

    In the latest case, he was found guilty of obtaining a pecuniary advantage by deception against Direct Line Insurance, by falsely representing that he had made no insurance claims in the three years prior to taking a policy out in July 2001.

    He was also found guilty of making a claim on the falsely obtained policy for £30,000 for a burglary at his home in August 2001 just a month before he took part in the ITV quiz show.

    He was cleared of a charge of deception by obtaining an insurance policy with Zurich Municipal by failing to declare claims in the preceding three years.

    He was also cleared of four charges of making claims on this policy totalling about £2,000.
    what I like to see. Justice at work!! wonder what he would have got had he not been an officer?

  13. LMAO my god are you mad? Wonderful! Just wonderful!
    As to Mrs Blair, well you'd be AMAZED at the items sent to her at no 10... it would seem not everyone in the country feels as strongly about the ladies lack of sensuality!

  14. I don't care if she's a dawg. I'd be on it for hours. And i'd wipe my cock on her bedroom curtains.

  15. Are you farting?