anyone need a new watch?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by maguire, Jul 23, 2011.

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  1. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    Mens Pop White Storm Watch | eBay

    'If you want to look like an offensively rich footballer at fraction of the cost take a look at this bad boy. This rather delicious watch for the sportier men among you was given to me by my idiot of an ex girlfriend, who by the way ended up in bed last Thursday with Steve. Steve, for your information, is not me.

    The watch has a trustworthy and comforting rubber strap, in white, which is more than you can say for my girlfriend who can't be trusted for five seconds and is about as comforting as having a lung removed. The face is clear and consistent white with simple minimalist design however my girlfriends face is covered in freckles, fake tan and has an unsightly mole just under her right eye.

    This item is presented in a red gift box and is powered by a Storm battery but I no longer have the box or the instructions, still could be worse, my girlfriend unfortunately no longer has anywhere to live.

    Unfortunately I have only worn this watch twice since she purchased it for me - Oh how extravagant of her -"Oh what gift can I buy my boyfriend, I know. I'll go to Covent Garden to the Storm shop and buy him a watch but come home with 12 pairs of shoes for myself and a 3 Grand Breitling for Steve" By the way she also has big feet. Size 9. On a woman, yes that's what I said she should be in the circus. "Roll up Roll up for the incredible big footed lady with a hairy eye wart"

    I was going to ask Steve if after eating my girlfriend's body in front of me, he might want to purchase the watch. I also then offered him my girlfriends thrush pessaries from the bathroom cabinet. He declined both politely and drove off in his Grey 2002 plate Ford Focus - LX. Grey like his personality, complexion and most of his hair.

    So as Mr Grey and Sasquatch Mole Eye wander off happily holding hands, I will be withholding all the items remotely connected to our relationship in escrow and sending them romantically on their way to eBay.

    PS - As Steve is actually my boss and I punched him hard in the face and subsequently do not have a job, the revenue from the sale of these items will go toward feeding myself and my poor cat Judy, who sadly lost her tail and one of her legs in a lathe accident.'
    • Like Like x 1
  2. You are not having much luck at all mate. The ebay listing has been removed. Time to get yourself up the pub for some liquid comfort. Tomorrows another day!
  3. It works for me
  4. Works here too - Bollox post though - £155 quid for a shite watch and some boring dull kunt post - jog on!
  5. I agree about the shite watch but that's not the OP's fault, who's post actually made me giggle a bit.

    I suppose this is the wrong place to start bragging about Mrs. FBG and her occasional girlfriend who are both much more gorgeous than I.

    Life is indeed good at my end.

  6. Silly me. Thought for a moment the Senior Service had lost another RIB-full of Leading Hands and ABs.