Anyone met this utter cumper yet?

One day, she turned round very confidentially and said, “You’re a spy really, aren’t you?”

Anyway, after I shagged her.

I nearly fell over laughing, then told her that the truth is far more prosaic. But it does show how easy it is to spin a line... and how people who are wanting to believe will.

I‘m still not sure she believed my denial. I mean, I would say that, wouldn’t I?

A few months ago a couple of my supervisors told a driver I was a former underwater knife fighting specialist who had spent considerable time disguised as a trout in Fermanagh for clandestine purposes. It was something like that anyway.

First I knew about it was when the driver stood in the office and asked me if I'd been in the army
Shift supervisor across the desk winked at me (in a completely not flirting way, hes 20 stone and has less hair than I do)
I just replied to the driver, I can't talk about it.

He went on about it for months, so I think I'm a walt.
I feel it appropriate to be awarded the Iron Cross, not wanting to overdo it I'll probably only have one with Oak Leaves
Perhaps a Blue Max for my birthday later in the year? What do you reckon? Subtle enough?
I'll upgrade it in a month or two
 
His ADC should be shot for allowing him to forget his bowtie when wearing Mess Dress.
And then shot again for letting him wear a dirty shirt with a breast pocket on it in the same rig.
 
Why do they do it.
And why is it always Para/Commando /SAS.

They must know that they'll be found out.
They Never walt as a slop Jockey or RLC.
 

smeg-head

ADC
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Why do they do it.
And why is it always Para/Commando /SAS.

They must know that they'll be found out.
They Never walt as a slop Jockey or RLC.
Well Bugsy thought he'd get away with being a Medic!
 
Why do they do it.
And why is it always Para/Commando /SAS.

They must know that they'll be found out.
They Never walt as a slop Jockey or RLC.
Worst one I met was REME, RM, SAS.
He invented a super secret underwater boat, is the only man alive who knows how to weld ships chains, was chief engineer on a RN ship that was later sold to a Saudi prince ( who insisted he be flown out to fix it - and when he got there his old tool box was still there as nobody knew how to use the tools inside)
Was the only man the SAS would work with when filming anything, taught major film stars how to act special forces and invented the Mr Bean defibrillator scene (took a month of filming)
His blades are so good (oh he's a blacksmith too) that auction houses have sold his work as antiques and they often consult him....

And he didn't tell his son he'd been SAS until he himself had a sandy beret - but told me all this bollocks (and much more) at the overlord show.
 
Worst one I met was REME, RM, SAS.
He invented a super secret underwater boat, is the only man alive who knows how to weld ships chains, was chief engineer on a RN ship that was later sold to a Saudi prince ( who insisted he be flown out to fix it - and when he got there his old tool box was still there as nobody knew how to use the tools inside)
Was the only man the SAS would work with when filming anything, taught major film stars how to act special forces and invented the Mr Bean defibrillator scene (took a month of filming)
His blades are so good (oh he's a blacksmith too) that auction houses have sold his work as antiques and they often consult him....

And he didn't tell his son he'd been SAS until he himself had a sandy beret - but told me all this bollocks (and much more) at the overlord show.
I was in Hereford.











Specifically Sainsbury and the Cider museum circa 2009.
 
We've been through this in eye watering, dull as ditchwater detail on another thread.


RSIGNALS in their wisdom renamed a bunch of trades, and at least verbally -not always even on official paperwork - hardly anyone took a blind bit of notice.
Depending on the age of the person I was a Clerk-tech, Tech-Storeman, or Stores-accountant. So that was 3 designations in a probable 20 year spread. I remember STGs being called spec ops by everyone.
 
My favourite wasn't pretending to be military but was clearly unwell.

He had previously been over 7 foot tall but the government genetically modified him to fit into a smaller flat.
He was also the same weight as a blue whale.

In case anyone was wondering his outward appearance was that of an average height human who didn't sink into the ground as he walked about.
He was also clearly "pharmaceutically enhanced" and had "a complex medical history"

I forget all the rest but it was hilarious.
 
Why the GS cap badges sewn on as mess kit collar dogs?
 
About thirty years ago I met a guy who had served as an officer in 6th battalion Rhodesia Regiment during the bush war. I thought he was unusual as most Rhodesians served in the Selous Scouts or Rhodesian SAS, or both. The same as every South African of that era all served in the Recce Regiments.

The Rhodesia Regiment consisted of Territorials who had completed National Service and by 1978 had to complete 6 weeks call-up followed by six weeks back in civie street and then another six weeks back in the army. They were very much the unsung heroes of the Rhodesian bush war,

I have always been interested in the Rhodesian bush war and I had read Ron Read-Dalys book on the Selous Scouts, and 'The Elite' by Barbara Cole - A history of the Rhodesian SAS.

He related his tales of the bush war and I mentioned that I had read the above books.

He mentioned that he knew Lt Col Garth Barrett the CO of 1 Rhodesian SAS Regiment from 1978 - 80.

I said "Ah yes I read about him in Barbara Cole's book"

Rhodie "Were you in the bush war"

Me " No I have only read about it"

Further conversation.

Rhodie " Are you sure you didn't serve in the Rhodesian army, you know a lot about it.

Me "No, honestly I haven't been further south than the Isle of Wight (actually a fib as I spent a week in Ascencion Island in 1982) I have just read about it.

"Hmmm" he said giving me a funny look which indicated that He didn't quite believe me.

I mean, what does this make me ? A reverse walt? A failed walt.
Good OPSEC and PERSEC
 
point of order is
tinder plenty of fish or
grindr
dating sites?
I once saw a guy in 2s with sergeants stripes, dress hat, medals and a sash walking his pace stick from Bacchus to the Polo Lounge. I just thought changed days and good luck to him.
 

Latest Threads

Top