Anyone met this utter cumper yet?

par avion

War Hero
Not I. I am almost always naked.

But I may occasionally haze myself by slamming a set of my wings into my chest when feeling nostalgic.
Hard core -blood wings. I like it. The naked bit - were you perchance attached to our very own Corp of Royal Marines during your service with Uncle SAM ?
I know what you mean

With my work I’ve been accused by a number of officials in foreign countries of being MI6.

I mean, with my search history?

FCO Services QM?


Can you take down the picture of his kids? Its not their fault and if their school mates get hold of it could be pretty nasty?
Nothing wrong with that, but most don't feel the need.

No 5 Mess Dress (No 5 SD) – Male Officers, Warrant Officers and SNCOs
0228. Occasions for Wear. The No 5 SD is provided as an initial free issue to regular serving commissioned officers but is an optional purchase item for WOs and SNCOs. It is reserved in the main as an evening or mess dress and is worn by commissioned officers, WOs and SNCOs at formal evening functions e.g. dining-in nights and guest nights. It may also be worn by retired officers, WOs and SNCOs and additionally, officers serving in the FTRS, RAFRO class CC, RAuxAF and RAFVR (T) on all occasions when this form of dress is appropriate for serving personnel. Badges of rank are to be worn as follows:
a. Officers. Full width gold ranking lace is worn on the sleeve of the RAF No 5 SD composed as prescribed for No 1 SD. Fully retired officers wear the badges of rank as recorded in the RAF Retired List.
b. WOs and SNCOs. A gold-embellished, single rank badge is worn on the right sleeve only, in the position prescribed for No 1 SD. Retired WOs and SNCOs wear the badges of rank to which they were eligible at the time of discharge.
c. Officers serving on commissions in the subsidiary branches listed above wear the badges of rank conversant with their current posts.
No 5 Mess Dress - Authorised Ensemble
0229. Hat. No 1 SD hat appropriate to rank – outdoors only.
0230. Jacket. All commissioned ranks wear the same design jacket and all WOs and SNCOs wear a similar design jacket. Officers of the rank of AVM and above wear plain shoulder boards; this rule also applies to all officers entitled to wear aiguillettes and/or the Royal Cypher See Chap 9). Half size gold embroidered flying badges may be worn where appropriate. Illustrations and relevant Orders of dress are detailed at the end of this section
0231. Trousers. Only No 5 SD trousers are to be worn. The trousers can be supported by braces.
0232. Shirt. Officers wear a white, Marcella shirt of approved design, worn with gold cuff links. WOs and SNCOs have the option of the
Marcella shirt or a similar plain white dress shirt. Chaplains may wear a white shirt with vest stock and double collar.

If only we knew someone who works in an Officers Mess, they could clear all this up right away.
The thing is there were plenty of genuine Vietnam veterans around at the time both serving and retired. Some of the good ole boys had completed twenty or thirty years in the US Army or Marines as Infantrymen - A one year tour in Korea during the Korean war and three tours of Vietnam. They just smiled when listening to his war stories.
Often, it seems to me that those who are more secure in their own skin are less outraged by walts
For me, it’s not about outrage. Unless they’re scamming someone.

It’s more about taking the pïss, at least until something more interesting comes along...

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I’ve seen someone I knew develop into a bloater. It’s an odd transformation. He went from being a commando sapper (no mean feat) to being an SF helicopter pilot. And not for the - acceptable- purpose of getting a shag. That was odd.
The thing that flagged this up for me as a wind-up is his “Certificate of Achievement” from his SAS selection. Everyone knows it’s just an attendance course.


Book Reviewer
About thirty years ago I met a guy who had served as an officer in 6th battalion Rhodesia Regiment during the bush war. I thought he was unusual as most Rhodesians served in the Selous Scouts or Rhodesian SAS, or both. The same as every South African of that era all served in the Recce Regiments.

The Rhodesia Regiment consisted of Territorials who had completed National Service and by 1978 had to complete 6 weeks call-up followed by six weeks back in civie street and then another six weeks back in the army. They were very much the unsung heroes of the Rhodesian bush war,

I have always been interested in the Rhodesian bush war and I had read Ron Read-Dalys book on the Selous Scouts, and 'The Elite' by Barbara Cole - A history of the Rhodesian SAS.

He related his tales of the bush war and I mentioned that I had read the above books.

He mentioned that he knew Lt Col Garth Barrett the CO of 1 Rhodesian SAS Regiment from 1978 - 80.

I said "Ah yes I read about him in Barbara Cole's book"

Rhodie "Were you in the bush war"

Me " No I have only read about it"

Further conversation.

Rhodie " Are you sure you didn't serve in the Rhodesian army, you know a lot about it.

Me "No, honestly I haven't been further south than the Isle of Wight (actually a fib as I spent a week in Ascencion Island in 1982) I have just read about it.

"Hmmm" he said giving me a funny look which indicated that He didn't quite believe me.

I mean, what does this make me ? A reverse walt? A failed walt.

I was nursing a beer in the garden of my local last summer and got talking with an almost-neighbour. Conversation over two or three encounters turned to life, careers, etc.

Mine - briefly military, then writing, lots of travel. Usually when people ask what I write about, I just say that it’s very technical - because it often is. It’s easier than explaining, and a lot less dull. I’m self-employed, so “Who do you work for?” usually gets “Oh, several different organisations“ - which is totally true and fair. Hobbies? “Oh, still like to keep fit despite the odd injury over the years.”

One day, she turned round very confidentially and said, “You’re a spy really, aren’t you?”

Anyway, after I shagged her.

I nearly fell over laughing, then told her that the truth is far more prosaic. But it does show how easy it is to spin a line... and how people who are wanting to believe will.

I‘m still not sure she believed my denial. I mean, I would say that, wouldn’t I?
That will be his "town house". He doesn't talk about his mansion in the country for obvious reasons*.

*It doesn't exist.

As a never served civvy, I just can't get my head around these people. Why do they do it?
The same reason why some career civvies join ARRSE and state they've been on a 2 way range involving 7.62mm rounds.

Because they are lying pricks.

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