Discussion in 'Army Reserve' started by FECKOFF, Nov 29, 2003.
The heart of the site is the forum area, including:
Tyne Tees?.........isn't that an ITV station?
oops thought he said tinned peas sorry
The Fog on the Tyne is all mine, all mine etc etc....
The Fog on the Tyne.................used by locals as cover to steal cars and burgle houses. Weh aye man!
So we have to ask ourselves - should the title of the thread be 'Anyone seen the Tyne Tees Regt' - i.e. has it been nicked?
perhaps ...................search Merseyside
Them loveable Geordie rogues might be good at nicking computers, but actually using one..?
Report Filed 30/11/03.
Reports are coming in from Tyneside of a dastardly and outrageous crime involving 'The Tyne Tees Regiment'. Apparently it was stolen from its barracks in and around the area sometime during the last 24 hours. Witnesses said that they had been going about their business when several as yet unidentified persons ran past them shouting 'outa my way - this is damn heavy'. They were then seen to be loading several buildings and a lot of people into the back of a truck. Police said that the crime appeared to be motiveless as the sum total value of the goods stolen was 33p. Anyone who is offered TA soldiers on the cheap in Pubs, Clubs or at RAF Brize Norton, on a flight to Basra, are asked to contact their local police
From Our Roving Reporter Somewhere on the M1
Report Filed 30/11/03
Motorists were alarmed this morning when they pulled over into a service station outside London. The car park was littered with Jimmy Nail look a likes dressed in military uniform. They appeared to be disorientated, much like something which had just crawled out from under a stone into the sunlight. Motorists stated that the people were muttering something unintelligible but sounded much like 'Baked Beanz'. Police were called to the scene shortly afterwards when the gang of sweaty Tynsiders broke into a pub behind the station asking for a pint of NewCastle Brown Ale.
Once inside, one apprarently walked up to the barman and asked for his favourite drink, a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale. The barman had said "We don't sell Newcastle Brown Ale here"
The Geordie was gutted, but as he was thirsty he decided to have anything that the barman could offer.
Witnesses stated that the barman proffered a pint of Whitbread. "That'll do" the Geordie answered and so took a good long gulp, "Wy-ay thats not bad" he said in apreciation, "Im ganna need a piss now. Can ya look after me pint while I'm in there?"
"Certainly Sir" answered the barman
"But I don't want anybody touching my pint, there will be hell to pay if they do" and he went to the toilet to relieve himself.
While was away a big black woman walked up to the geordie's pint, took a sip from it and then farted in it. The barman saw this - but too late. He panicked, remembering the Geordie's threat and 2 seconds later the geordie returned from the toilet. He was about to pick up his pint when he noticed a fresh lipstick mark on the glass,"whats be goin on ere then man? Some one's ad me pint". Sweating, and pointing at the black woman over in the corner, the barman tells the story of how she farted in his pint.
"Reet then" said the geordie rolling up his sleeves, and he marched over to where the big black woman was sitting,
"'scuse me luv, you fart in ma Whitbread"
to which the woman replies,
"No I'm Tessa Sanderson."
Can I point out to all you southern twots that the TTR also has Durham lads (no mackems though) and Yorkshiremen (may their tribe increase) as well as the stottie gobblers. If any of them have gone missing one can only assume that they are either in hiding from the Constabulary, the child support agency or the Social Security hit squads or there is a new pub open offering cheap beer and even cheaper fat lasses.
Separate names with a comma.