Anyone for a cluster bomb?

#3
as long as when we sell them we get the buyers to promise not to tell people where they got them from

strange one that prepared to stop land mines and dasiy cutters but not nukes????????makes ya think dont it???????
 
#4
Well he's been responsible for enough clusterfcuks.
 
#7
All part of a cunning, long term plan.

The next step will to get rid of automatic weapons so, those of you under 40, stand by to familiarise yourself with a thing called a Self Loading Rifle, or SLR for short.

Then, ban bullets. It's a proven fact that bullets are a leading cause of death during armed conflict. Hence they should be banned on health and safety grounds alone.

With no bullets, we wont need anything to fire them from so Gordon can have a nice little earner selling all our SLRs, SMGs, GPMGs and SA80s to that nice Mr DinnerJacket in Iran. For some reason the Iranians are buying up all the weapons they can get their hands on so they'll offer Gordon a good price.

Next, reissue all those longbows that have been in storage since 1430 (that's a year, not a time by the way). Might need a bit of restringing but the British Army can turn its hand to anything.

Finally, sit back and relax, contented in the knowledge that you have greatly reduced the death toll in the forthcoming war with Iran. Ignore the fact that nearly all the deaths will be among British soldiers, gunned down by the SLR and GPMG wielding Iranians. Those who point out that the British Army have no arrows for their longbows are clearly racists.
 

Mongo

LE
Kit Reviewer
#8
Ancient_Mariner said:
All part of a cunning, long term plan.

The next step will to get rid of automatic weapons so, those of you under 40, stand by to familiarise yourself with a thing called a Self Loading Rifle, or SLR for short.

Then, ban bullets. It's a proven fact that bullets are a leading cause of death during armed conflict. Hence they should be banned on health and safety grounds alone.

With no bullets, we wont need anything to fire them from so Gordon can have a nice little earner selling all our SLRs, SMGs, GPMGs and SA80s to that nice Mr DinnerJacket in Iran. For some reason the Iranians are buying up all the weapons they can get their hands on so they'll offer Gordon a good price.

Next, reissue all those longbows that have been in storage since 1430 (that's a year, not a time by the way). Might need a bit of restringing but the British Army can turn its hand to anything.

Finally, sit back and relax, contented in the knowledge that you have greatly reduced the death toll in the forthcoming war with Iran. Ignore the fact that nearly all the deaths will be among British soldiers, gunned down by the SLR and GPMG wielding Iranians. Those who point out that the British Army have no arrows for their longbows are clearly racists.
Another sound strategy from the government.

Anyone got any idea how many figures it will run to to dismantle them?

Can you recycle HE? Not that the government would do it, but its an idea.
 
#9
duty_cook said:
strange one that prepared to stop land mines and dasiy cutters but not nukes????????makes ya think dont it???????
Surely a Cluster Bomb is the ideal (although maybe a tadge expensive) ordanace for clearing a minefield?

Therefore, lets get millions of 'em on "humanitarian" grounds.

And then check Baghdad for mines ;)
 
#10
Timing was good for the UK. Our stocks of MLRS were Shelf Life Expired anyway, so they were always going to be disposed of.

At least this way it saves money on buying new stocks of cluster munitions, which are no good in the operations we are conducting now. What the point in storing ammo for the just in case.
 
#12
Could get the RAF to drop them on a disused airfield, then use it as a training ground for EOD techs.

Hmmmmmm............then again, we have to make sure the RAF actually HIT the target :/
 
#13
dingerr said:
What the point in storing ammo for the just in case.
8O 8O

Please tell me you're not serious? When you went on Ops, did you take out life insurance? Of course, in case something happened. If you're told you're going out for a three patrol, did you take scoff and water for at least 24 hrs? Of course, in case it went Pete Tong. Why do we have car insurance? In case we have a crash.

If you want peace, prepare for war.

Of course, I might have just bitten at an ironic post! Sorry!
 
#14
Poor_Bloody_Infantry said:
dingerr said:
What the point in storing ammo for the just in case.
8O 8O

Please tell me you're not serious? When you went on Ops, did you take out life insurance? Of course, in case something happened. If you're told you're going out for a three patrol, did you take scoff and water for at least 24 hrs? Of course, in case it went Pete Tong. Why do we have car insurance? In case we have a crash.

If you want peace, prepare for war.

Of course, I might have just bitten at an ironic post! Sorry!
You might just :roll: The clue about ammo management is in my Avatar!!!!!
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
Can't we just drop them on some chav mong estate?
That one where Shannon Mathews lived for starters

Slightly off topic
I was stood with a mate in a York pub last wek
I bet him if you left a hand grenade with a post - it note saying "pull pin" some mong would do it
Anyone got a spare one so I can try my experiment?
Ther's a fiver in it
 
#16
The cost of decommissioning could easily be offset by selling them on.
We make the buyers sign a piece of paper saying that they will never use them against us, I’m sure Mr DJ would stick to his word.
 
#17
I think that we are all being a bit short sighted here, and missing the genius of the British Prime Menstrator, Gordon Clown. My contact in the Ministry of Propoganda in Whitehall (lovely girl, great legs) assures me that it is only Clown's stance on Cluster Bombs which has made possible the soon to be announced declaration by AQI and the Taliban that they are going to cease using EFPs to target British Troops due to the unacceptable risks to passing civilians. From now on they are going to restrict themselves to camel charges and long range sniping with jezails respectively.

The other good news is that the Chinese, Iranians, North Koreans and other potential foes twenty years down the line have all agreed that cluster bombs are frightfully old fashioned, and not-akin to winning the left wing vote at all. Of course, as none of these countries need to bother about winning votes they will themselves be retaining cluster munitions on the "just in case" principle.
 
#18
Can someone tell me what would happen in the following circumstances. Troops in contact call for CAS. Only CAS available is USAF. The A/C is armed with cluster munitions. Does the FAC say sorry not allowed to use those anymore please go away we will do our best without you. Or does he say make the attack run anyway?
 
#19
old_n_fat said:
Can someone tell me what would happen in the following circumstances. Troops in contact call for CAS. Only CAS available is USAF. The A/C is armed with cluster munitions. Does the FAC say sorry not allowed to use those anymore please go away we will do our best without you. Or does he say make the attack run anyway?
Funny you should ask that one. As someone with an interest in CAS/FAC matters I put this very question to an RAF lawyer who thought that there was no problem as CBUs remain a 'lawful weapon' in legal speak.
 
#20
In that situation I would hope that the ordinance was used and the lawyers can argue about it later.

"It is better to be judged by twelve men than carried by six".
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top