Anyone for a cluster bomb?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Zaphodski, May 28, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Thoughts on Gordon's legacy to the World? Can we still make and sell the little darlings?
     
  2. does that mean what I just deposited down the toilet is actually illegal?
     
  3. as long as when we sell them we get the buyers to promise not to tell people where they got them from

    strange one that prepared to stop land mines and dasiy cutters but not nukes????????makes ya think dont it???????
     
  4. Well he's been responsible for enough clusterfcuks.
     
  5. Add a do not touch sign to them.
     
  6. New Labour defence policy in a nutshell:

    Out with Clusterbombs.
    In with Clusterfcuks.
     
  7. All part of a cunning, long term plan.

    The next step will to get rid of automatic weapons so, those of you under 40, stand by to familiarise yourself with a thing called a Self Loading Rifle, or SLR for short.

    Then, ban bullets. It's a proven fact that bullets are a leading cause of death during armed conflict. Hence they should be banned on health and safety grounds alone.

    With no bullets, we wont need anything to fire them from so Gordon can have a nice little earner selling all our SLRs, SMGs, GPMGs and SA80s to that nice Mr DinnerJacket in Iran. For some reason the Iranians are buying up all the weapons they can get their hands on so they'll offer Gordon a good price.

    Next, reissue all those longbows that have been in storage since 1430 (that's a year, not a time by the way). Might need a bit of restringing but the British Army can turn its hand to anything.

    Finally, sit back and relax, contented in the knowledge that you have greatly reduced the death toll in the forthcoming war with Iran. Ignore the fact that nearly all the deaths will be among British soldiers, gunned down by the SLR and GPMG wielding Iranians. Those who point out that the British Army have no arrows for their longbows are clearly racists.
     
  8. Mongo

    Mongo LE Reviewer

    Another sound strategy from the government.

    Anyone got any idea how many figures it will run to to dismantle them?

    Can you recycle HE? Not that the government would do it, but its an idea.
     
  9. Surely a Cluster Bomb is the ideal (although maybe a tadge expensive) ordanace for clearing a minefield?

    Therefore, lets get millions of 'em on "humanitarian" grounds.

    And then check Baghdad for mines ;)
     
  10. Timing was good for the UK. Our stocks of MLRS were Shelf Life Expired anyway, so they were always going to be disposed of.

    At least this way it saves money on buying new stocks of cluster munitions, which are no good in the operations we are conducting now. What the point in storing ammo for the just in case.
     
  11. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT

    Or Skipton :D
     
  12. Could get the RAF to drop them on a disused airfield, then use it as a training ground for EOD techs.

    Hmmmmmm............then again, we have to make sure the RAF actually HIT the target :/
     
  13. 8O 8O

    Please tell me you're not serious? When you went on Ops, did you take out life insurance? Of course, in case something happened. If you're told you're going out for a three patrol, did you take scoff and water for at least 24 hrs? Of course, in case it went Pete Tong. Why do we have car insurance? In case we have a crash.

    If you want peace, prepare for war.

    Of course, I might have just bitten at an ironic post! Sorry!
     
  14. You might just :roll: The clue about ammo management is in my Avatar!!!!!
     
  15. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    Can't we just drop them on some chav mong estate?
    That one where Shannon Mathews lived for starters

    Slightly off topic
    I was stood with a mate in a York pub last wek
    I bet him if you left a hand grenade with a post - it note saying "pull pin" some mong would do it
    Anyone got a spare one so I can try my experiment?
    Ther's a fiver in it