Anyone ever worry they're a bit of a paedo?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by narc, Oct 10, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Now before the outrage bus arrives I'm not talking about full on sex beasting of 7 year old boys Robert Black style, nor even Nabokovian style noncing of Lolitaesque nymphs, but the older I get the more I'm starting to fancy young girls. I mean when I was 18/19 all my mates were out in their cars shagging year 11s and lower sixth formers and I was totally against it, preferring slightly older birds, but 5 years down the line I can't get enough of these young filths on X factor etc.

    The KFC conveniently sits opposite the street that funnels the two major comprehensive schools' main body of students out into the city centre after school ends, and many an enjoyable afternoon has been spent there recently, licking the grease and beans from my fingers, leering at all the barely-legal fitties as they strut past in their school uniforms.
  2. You work for Colonel Sanders?
  3. Eh?

    Edit; in answer to your original question, no.
  4. Oh lord.

    I also wonder how it is possible for the need to lick beans off you fingers. Do you often get beans sticking to your fingers?
  5. Asking yourself questions like this is a fairly clear sign that you've gone over to the nonce side. You should probably delete your browsing history and sterilise yourself by giving your taters a good, hard whack with a 4lb lump hammer just to be sure. You dirty fucking child-toucher.
    • Like Like x 2
  6. John Waters says;


    'By Christ, you're dull'
  7. Never trust a man with a pencil moustache.
  8. It just screams 'pervert', dunnit?
  9. Sign the sex offenders register, collect your issue 'tache.

    I might start growing one...
  10. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Aye but not quite as much as dipping your fingers into a tin of beans and wondering the streets looking for school kids to lick the beans off.
  11. Are you sure the beans weren't stuck to a window?
  12. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Mate of mine arrived in the UK after a long absence and as we wandered from a large curry lunch in Wimbledon to the nearest pub we passed a gaggle of what I think what 14-16 year old school girls in uniform - my mate wanted to know why they were all dressing like hookers....

    I had to explain that it was to balance things out a bit since hookers now dressed as schoolgirls...
    • Like Like x 5
  13. Not big on spotty young things. More of a milf man myself.

    Try feeding your ball sack into a blender.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Yep, I concur with you there GR, although, I'm more for the discerning Lady. Ones that's going to keep me in a level of luxury I'm accustomed to.