Years ago my mate Terry, who was a 22 year old virgin, was posted to Berlin. Having foolishly let the cat out of the bag about his lack of wearing the old trappers hat we took him down to the Kudam and fixed him up with a quality Tom. After we'd paid the girl his 'shot' money he disappears for 5 minutes with this stunning example of Berlin's arrse selling fraternity. We were quite surprised and thought that he was after tapping us for some more dosh, but he soon explained that after whipping out his inexperienced pork sword, he'd blown his wad on entry. The prossie felt so sorry for him that she gave him half his money back. Word soon got around the Company and he soon became known as Terry Two Strokes. He then developed an addiction for 'buying arrse' and this continued when he was posted to Helmstedt on the border with the DDR. One night Terry came back to camp from a nocturnal visit to one of the surrounding whorehouses, his face was ashen and he walked like the creature of the black lagoon with a cactus between its legs. The duty medic was called and Terry drops his trollies and pulls out his undercarriage. It was all swollen, horrible and blood-soaked. The medic using a 2HB pencil tapped his bell end, which was swollen enough to fit inside a wizards sleeve, several times and announced, 'I don't know much about cocks Terry, we'll have to call the local ambulance'. It was later revealed that Terry in his pursuit of 'buying arrse' had been in the canine position and had slipped it in the wrong un of his latest purchase. This thrusting movement caused his banjo string to snap, making a sound akin to the cracking of Zoro's whip. He then sprayed his claret everywhere including up the poop chute of the now outraged prossie. She dropped her arrse and sent him packing with a few sheets of bog paper to wrap his bits, which resembled a melted black pudding. Has anyone ever had this happen, poor Terry said the pain was so great, he fainted instantly??