Anyone else got the lights off?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Closet_Jibber, Oct 31, 2009.

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  1. Fcuking kids on Halloween.

    I've very bravely shut the blinds and curtains. I've switched off all the lights and I'm sat in the kitchen watching The Gladiator on DVD.

    All this because I can't be hooped with having to put up with 3000 little chavs at my front door wearing bin bags and white cam cream threatening me for sweets or money.

    Trick or treat my fcuking ring. Its hand over some cash/Minstrels or get glared at by their fat parents (Who know doubt take a percentage of the evenings takings)!

    If they work out that I've left the back gate open they may see me stuffing my face with their loot and kill me. Like Sugar hungry Zombies they'll smash the windows and climb in to feed on my evenings diet of revels and Peroni bottles (3 for 2 in Tesco).

    Anyone else finding themselves concealed in a dark room avoiding these ghoolish creatures of the night?
  2. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Or, of course, you could just grow a pair and tell them to sod off?
  3. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    yes, see the other thread re this.

    feck all good on the telly till later on when Halloween 1 and 2 are on an' all.
  4. Fcuk that! :D

    I prefer to hide in the shadows like I do from Carol Singers at Christmas!
  5. Or answer the door naked sporting a stiffy the little fcukers run off crying........
  6. I'm waiting for the Bombay Bicycle club to deliver my dinner :)
  7. I've left a pair of wellies sprayed silver by the gate in the hope that they think that Gary Glitter is here that should keep them out
  8. I was going out with some Bournemouth Uni fanny dressed as witches but its fallen through.

  9. I'm with you there Jibber, another adopted septic 'tradition' that a load of fargin bollox.

    Lights are on but there is a sign on the door that says "Please don't knock, we have swine flu!"
    Sadly it is TRUE, but it has worked so far....
    But I did here one chav munter say "Big deal, I've got flu but I'm out here FOR MY KIDS trick or treatin"

    1. If you can go out, you've got a COLD.

    2. You're only out with the kids cos Jeremy Kyle's not on.
  10. you can have some at their expense, ie, dog shit on doorbell, hosepipe ready at the letterbox, don't let the little fcukers have all their own way.
  11. Ironically the situation I find myself in is similar to that on "Dawn of The Dead." Maybe I am not being a scrooge and I'm actually taking part in the festivities by playing a potential Zombie Victim!

    Do you think mum and dad would see the funny side if little Timmy came in with severe head injuries because when he arrived at my door with a p1ss stained bed sheet over his head I responded accordingly:

    Immediately treating him as a dead member of the KKK brought back to life by this un-holy date and the work of satan I have gone at his head with my entrenching tool like a Green Jacket on RnR in Cyprus.

    Not that I'd be brave enough to as quite frankly I can't be bothered cleaning egg off my car/windows/house.
  12. I'm sat here in my OP with an air rifle waiting for said chavs to trash the house like last year when I was away.
    This year will be different though!
  13. If you'd been a Sapper you could have laid a few fcukin mines, bit of trip wire, maybe a low wire entanglement.!
  14. Happy hunting! :twisted:
  15. Next door have obviously just been hit. I can hear shouting now and a bit of moaning from my neighbours missus about "... the state of it."

    Whatever it is I imagine it has eggs and flour on it. Only a few hours to go. Trainers on just incase any of the fcukers try anything here!