Anyone else for a "chav free" holiday?

Trossachs

War Hero
CaptainWillard said:
F##k off you pretentious c#nts!!!. I may eat omlettes on occasion, and sometimes holiday in a caravan, but I pay for the privilege with money that I've grafted for. And with not a burberry cap nor piece of bling to be seen.

CW
Grumpy ! - Its not the omlette I was getting at, I like omelettes too - its the total crassness of these two clowns in ordering one in that particular location. These were not chavs, they looked pretty middle-class to me - just totally ignorant.

edited to add - It seems to me that there are two levels to Brit crassness. One is the noisy, bling beladen, shagging on the beach, pissed up shouting at 4am "Chav" style. Thats just plain nasty. The other is the " I refuse to interact with anything local except the sunshine. I want my british beer, full fry, sunday roast and Sky Sports. I have rented this "villa" for good money and I want everything to be just like Woking, except warmer" type. Thats actually more insulting to the locals because these people do not have the excuse of shite education for their stupidity. At least in Lanzarote the Spanish have had the good sense to corral all the "villas" onto huge estates on the one area of coast.

" They are like Battery people, we are Free Range" Calum, aged 8.
 

Ord_Sgt

RIP
RIP
Why are people so proud that they have to graft to get by? If I could sit in an office all day and get paid well for surfing the internet rather than working I'd love it. :D
 
Ord_Sgt said:
Why are people so proud that they have to graft to get by? If I could sit in an office all day and get paid well for surfing the internet rather than working I'd love it. :D
Sounds like my job!

:p
 
Well, when I say 'graft', I actually sort of mean, er...'attend'. :oops:

CW

VNR
 
I spent 3 weeks in New Zealand over Xmas leave-not a bloody chav in sight. I hate the fcukers. I really do (chavs, not Kiwis :D ). It was the best holiday I've ever had and did just about every adventure sport you can think of (stand fast danger wanking. It wasn't cheap but that was because flights at the time of the year were very expensive. Take the flight costs out of it and it wasn't too bad. I went with a crowd called www.contiki.co.uk and it is good fun-I'd recommend them to anyone up for adventure sports, drinking, sightseeing and being surrounded by fit nubile young Aussie females....

They do trips in North America, Europe, Asia, Convictland and NZ but the chavs don't tend to venture to NZ or Convictland due to the cost of getting there.

I'm hopefully going on safari in Kenya and Tanzania in August and there shouldn't be any chavs there....
 
I get one every year courtesy of the in-laws. Despite a passing fashion for burberry (poor deluded fools!), China's refreshingly chav-free. In fact, I'd love to see a group of them trying their usual pish with the jc's and see where it gets 'em - Qinghai, probably. At any event, it'd be an eye opener for them after being used to our emasculated rozzers.
 
Me and the good wife Mrs NP have enjoyed the Red Sea / El Gouna for the last five years. I have noticed that over the last five years it has been getting busier due to the hot weather all year round and the decent flight time of 5 and a half hours for the pleasure of all year round sun. From time to time the odd Chav has reared its horrible Burbery face but for the most part I have more problems with so called well heeled making ass+s of themselves. Speaking the lingo goes a major way to getting on. My first foray into Arabic was "Salam Alykum" which I have found gets you an instant kind reaction. Simple words of thanks, good morning and hello do wonders. Respesting customs and trying the food and above all a haircut in a barbers (full deal including the shave) is not only enjoyable but really makes for a great time. Whilst in El Gouna November of last year and hiring some fins for Mrs NP I said hello and asked in very haltering arabic for some fins. Some of the lads behind the stall were crouched down having a meal (in fact breaking the fast). they asked me to join them and share their food. this was wonderful and very moving. I sat with them and realised that you don't need politicians to solve crisis, what you need is some fruit and flat breads and mint tea......and the common man will change the world for the good.
 

Big_Duke_Six

Old-Salt
Chav-free or Chavs Free! (Or at least cut-rate)

Check out this report.

Seems like the back-lash has already begun.
 

AT55

LE
Maybe try Googling "working holiday" or "education holiday" might be of help?
 
You don't have to go to another hemisphere to get away from them. At one time regarded as chav central, Majorca has stunning scenery (especially on the north coast), good hill walking, historical attractions, lovely food (including omlettes!) and the locals are very friendly. Also travel and accomodation are very reasonable so you don't need to bankrupt yourself to get there, which is always a bonus for us non-middle classes :wink: .

Like anywhere, it's just a matter of knowing what you like, getting away from the beaten track and exploring the place. Where we go, you may get the odd scummer, but generally it's just ordinary British, Kraut and, surprisingly, French families. I have noticed however, an increase in eastern European types; usually middle aged blokes sporting soviet airborne tattoos and dodgy looking wives with peroxide hairdos and too much make up!
... Chavskis perhaps?

CW

Vestigia Nulla Retrorsum
 

Kakashi

Old-Salt
the_matelot said:
I spent 3 weeks in New Zealand over Xmas leave-not a bloody chav in sight. I hate the fcukers. I really do (chavs, not Kiwis :D ). It was the best holiday I've ever had and did just about every adventure sport you can think of (stand fast danger wanking. It wasn't cheap but that was because flights at the time of the year were very expensive. Take the flight costs out of it and it wasn't too bad. I went with a crowd called www.contiki.co.uk and it is good fun-I'd recommend them to anyone up for adventure sports, drinking, sightseeing and being surrounded by fit nubile young Aussie females....

They do trips in North America, Europe, Asia, Convictland and NZ but the chavs don't tend to venture to NZ or Convictland due to the cost of getting there.

I'm hopefully going on safari in Kenya and Tanzania in August and there shouldn't be any chavs there....


If there are chavs there, you could always throw them off the jeep to the nearest hungry lions :twisted: ,or shoot them. For all you knew, they were zebra's (or some kind of easily killed animal) :lol:
 
Ord_Sgt said:
Why are people so proud that they have to graft to get by? If I could sit in an office all day and get paid well for surfing the internet rather than working I'd love it. :D
I do, although the pay could be uplifted a tad.
 
Big_Duke_Six said:
Chav-free or Chavs Free! (Or at least cut-rate)

Check out this report.

Seems like the back-lash has already begun.
Alistair Mclean, the managing director of Activities Abroad said it was time for the middle classes to stand up for themselves
Go on Alistair, write a strong letter to the torygraph "Miffed of chipping ballbag" while the rest of country think you are a cnut
 
Big_Duke_Six said:
Chav-free or Chavs Free! (Or at least cut-rate)

Check out this report.

Seems like the back-lash has already begun.
I'm off to Italy for a break with the girlfriend shortly and the hotel we're staying in is also on that travel company's website.

Total cost on Expedia is £198 for 2 nights.

Total cost on Travel Company's website is £744.02 for 2 nights. 8o

What a fcuking rip off...they can encourage as many chavs as they want as far as I'm concerned as I certainly won't be using that company.

Chavs should be sterilised and not allowed to breed.
 
the_matelot said:
Big_Duke_Six said:
Chav-free or Chavs Free! (Or at least cut-rate)

Check out this report.

Seems like the back-lash has already begun.
I'm off to Italy for a break with the girlfriend shortly and the hotel we're staying in is also on that travel company's website.

Total cost on Expedia is £198 for 2 nights.

Total cost on Travel Company's website is £744.02 for 2 nights. 8o

What a fcuking rip off...they can encourage as many chavs as they want as far as I'm concerned as I certainly won't be using that company.

Chavs should be sterilised and not allowed to breed.
Careful, those ******* are useless make sure you get comfirmation of bookings and what not at every step.

2315, centre of Rome at Hotel reception.....

Im sorry sir we dont appear to have your booking......expedia?.......no they've done this before.....I phone around some other hotels for you sir......

It was May so luckily there was a similar priced hotel 300m away for the exact same week!
 
Trossachs said:
Rodney2q said:
Mrs Rodney2q and I always manage to have a chav free holiday by going to places where the locals don't speak English (or very little) the bars and restaurants don't offer all day English breakfasts, English beer, English menus or English TV.

A decent phrasebook for the local language, say please and thank you, and hey presto - nice holiday, friendly locals and no effin' chavs!

:D :D :D

Rodney2q
We apply the same strategy and it usually works well. Stunning fail over the New Year in Lanzarote - Lovely small restaurant, specialising in fish, several tables of locals. In we trot, order the sea bass, really nice lunch, great views etc etc.... Minutes later in comes two brits.... and after a long look through the short menu - order omelettes !! Personally I think we should have an exam before we allow people out of the country. The missus has a better idea - an exam before people are allowed back in....

What really annoys me is the grey suburban eegits who cannot adjust or try anything new - we found a tub of " Tesco Value Gravy Granules" in the kitchen FFS - some saddo had brought that crap out from the UK !!. - My boys just about ended themselves when they saw frozen loaves of "Kingsmill" in the supermarket freezer - at 3 Euros a pop !! Another gem was the Pataks korma sauce for 5 Euros. Sad on so many levels - that they would pay 5 Euro for it, even sadder that the most adventurous they can get is korma !!
Just come back from the same kind of thing in Fuerteventura, a week of sun (well, 3 out of 7 days) sounded a good idea, no chavs as such, but plenty of Neds though, easily spotted by the fact that they arrived on Friday and by breakfast on Sat, every fcuker was wearing a Celtic shirt. Corralejo is to be recomended, loads of restaurants off the beaten track down by the harbour, reasonably priced too (against the euro of 6 months ago that is), Lanzarote is only 20 mins boat ride away for those whoi like that kind of thing.
 

girliebiker

Old-Salt
MrPVRd said:
Camping is generally chav-free, especially family-friendly camp sites. Too high maintenance for chavs to handle. Short city breaks tend to be chav-free, as the architectural and cultural delights of cities from Barcelona to Salzburg tend to be over their horizons.

We went to Tenerife ten years ago....ended up walking along to the "German" bit as it was far more civilised (east of Las Americas or whatever it is called) and a little bit further got us to a nice local seafood restaurant.

Edited to add: same in Spain. We went to the Costa Blanca, stayed near the European/German bits (Calpe, Gandia) and nowhere near Benidorm.....far nicer!!! So even in chav destinations there is hope, just follow the signs....towels over deck-chairs at 6am, overweight gents wearing Speedos with sandals and white socks, hirsute ladies.....a little civilisation beckons!
My appartment used to be 10 km to the east of Las Americas, now due to Las Americas becoming so popular and spreading out, it's chavtastic. :cry:

It's not just our chavs but also the former estern block chavs that have made the place so awful. It's only saving grace at the moment is the beach bar run by locals for locals, if they don't know you they turn you away!

Anyone want to buy an appartment in Tenerife?
 
Can I have some of The Matelot's drugs please because they are shit hot?

The chav free company don't offer any two night holidays in Italy. i've been all over their site and can't find whatever the bollocks you are on about.

But hey! Why let a good story get in the way of your anger management problem?

Chav free holidays - I've requested a brochure already. :D
 
Larksalummy said:
Can I have some of The Matelot's drugs please because they are s*** hot?

The chav free company don't offer any two night holidays in Italy. i've been all over their site and can't find whatever the balls you are on about.

But hey! Why let a good story get in the way of your anger management problem?

Chav free holidays - I've requested a brochure already. :D
I suggest you read my posts again. You are confusing yourself. I went to NZ with Contiki and there was no chavs there.

I merely mentioned the fact the company that are offering discounts to chavs (like that is really going to convince me even more to go with them!) are charging £744 for 2 nights in an Italian hotel that Expedia and the hotel itself charge £198 for.

BTW, for those that are interested, Lufthansa have got a deal on where two of you can fly to Milan from Heathrow for £97.50 and that includes all taxes and baggage allowances.

Further information is here
 
Go to the American northern midwest in the dead of winter. No chavs there, in fact, not much of anything there.
 

Latest Threads

Top