Anyone else for a "chav free" holiday?

#1
Someone has come up with a good sales strategy

They googled names associated with the word 'chav', ran them through their database of past customers and discovered that no Britneys, Dazzas, Biancas, Chardonnays or Candices had ever been on one of their trips................The e-mail added a spin to these findings, claiming the company therefore offered 'chav-free activity holidays'

Gets my vote. Might even get my money. :D
 
#2
Northumberland-based Activities Abroad offers trips such as dog sledding, searching for the northern lights in Lapland and white water rafting in Slovenia
Sounds dull as fcuk. prolly full of ******* called rufus, tarquin, rupert and oliva....
 
#3
I think a better holiday might be one that GUARANTEED plenty of Chavs...and the firearm of you're choice, with an unlimited supply of ammo.

Chav Hunting - the Sport for the 21st Century! :twisted:
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
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#4
Cpl_ripper said:
Northumberland-based Activities Abroad offers trips such as dog sledding, searching for the northern lights in Lapland and white water rafting in Slovenia
Sounds dull as fcuk. prolly full of ******* called rufus, tarquin, rupert and oliva....
Didn't know they were lost. And, if they are, how do they know they are in Lapland?
 
#5
Mrs Rodney2q and I always manage to have a chav free holiday by going to places where the locals don't speak English (or very little) the bars and restaurants don't offer all day English breakfasts, English beer, English menus or English TV.

A decent phrasebook for the local language, say please and thank you, and hey presto - nice holiday, friendly locals and no effin' chavs!

:D :D :D

Rodney2q
 
#6
Rodney2q said:
Mrs Rodney2q and I always manage to have a chav free holiday by going to places where the locals don't speak English (or very little) the bars and restaurants don't offer all day English breakfasts, English beer, English menus or English TV.

A decent phrasebook for the local language, say please and thank you, and hey presto - nice holiday, friendly locals and no effin' chavs!

:D :D :D

Rodney2q
Yeah but doesn't London get boring after a while? :D
 
#7
Ord_Sgt said:
Rodney2q said:
Mrs Rodney2q and I always manage to have a chav free holiday by going to places where the locals don't speak English (or very little) the bars and restaurants don't offer all day English breakfasts, English beer, English menus or English TV.

A decent phrasebook for the local language, say please and thank you, and hey presto - nice holiday, friendly locals and no effin' chavs!

:D :D :D

Rodney2q
Yeah but doesn't London get boring after a while? :D
i see where you are going with this ;)
 
#8
Cpl_ripper said:
Northumberland-based Activities Abroad offers trips such as dog sledding, searching for the northern lights in Lapland and white water rafting in Slovenia
Sounds dull as fcuk. prolly full of ******* called rufus, tarquin, rupert and oliva....
Oh yeah, fantastic :cry:

I'd rather have a bunch of chavvy Brit sluts down on the Croatian coast. And if Chardonnay has to be topped up and fcuked then so be it.
 
#9
Rodney2q said:
Mrs Rodney2q and I always manage to have a chav free holiday by going to places where the locals don't speak English (or very little) the bars and restaurants don't offer all day English breakfasts, English beer, English menus or English TV.

A decent phrasebook for the local language, say please and thank you, and hey presto - nice holiday, friendly locals and no effin' chavs!

:D :D :D

Rodney2q
We apply the same strategy and it usually works well. Stunning fail over the New Year in Lanzarote - Lovely small restaurant, specialising in fish, several tables of locals. In we trot, order the sea bass, really nice lunch, great views etc etc.... Minutes later in comes two brits.... and after a long look through the short menu - order omelettes !! Personally I think we should have an exam before we allow people out of the country. The missus has a better idea - an exam before people are allowed back in....

What really annoys me is the grey suburban eegits who cannot adjust or try anything new - we found a tub of " Tesco Value Gravy Granules" in the kitchen FFS - some saddo had brought that crap out from the UK !!. - My boys just about ended themselves when they saw frozen loaves of "Kingsmill" in the supermarket freezer - at 3 Euros a pop !! Another gem was the Pataks korma sauce for 5 Euros. Sad on so many levels - that they would pay 5 Euro for it, even sadder that the most adventurous they can get is korma !!
 
#10
Personall I go to Cornwall, best of both worlds, mongy chavs in caravans, and stuck up cnuts in their second homes. Winner all round, plus your pound goes as far as it needs to! You cant beat the good old chav on the beach with his fifty extended morons, windbreaks set in some kind "All round defence" supping stella, been loud add to that moronic posh knobs who wander into pubs asking if they serve hot chocolate for darling Gwendolyn and Isabella.
Don't you love the UK :)
 
#11
Werewolf said:
I think a better holiday might be one that GUARANTEED plenty of Chavs...and the firearm of you're choice, with an unlimited supply of ammo.

Chav Hunting - the Sport for the 21st Century! :twisted:
Where do I book? I need x 1000 rds of 556 and x thousand rds of 9mm please (where x is a large number).
 
#12
It does make me laugh when you get all the ex pats in Spain. They moved out of the UK because they were fed u with it but they are there eating English food, drinking English beer, watching English football and tv shows, reading the international edition of the Scum and whining that they miss the UK. Get a grip you losers.

Mrs P_L and I went to Ibiza about 5 years ago and had a great time. The simple way to avoid the chavs was to stay off the beaten track, follow the locals to get the decent resteraunts and go the the more underground clubs. Whilst some of you might scoff at underground house music you get a lot less chavs going to those sorts of clubs than you do cutting around the West End of San Antonio.
 
#13
Ord_Sgt said:
Rodney2q said:
Mrs Rodney2q and I always manage to have a chav free holiday by going to places where the locals don't speak English (or very little) the bars and restaurants don't offer all day English breakfasts, English beer, English menus or English TV.

A decent phrasebook for the local language, say please and thank you, and hey presto - nice holiday, friendly locals and no effin' chavs!

:D :D :D

Rodney2q
Yeah but doesn't London get boring after a while? :D
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Rodney2q
 
#14
It's becoming more apparent that in some people's scramble to now be seen as middle class, everyone supposedly beneath them or with less money is now relegated to the ranks of 'Chav'.

F##k off you pretentious c#nts!!!. I may eat omlettes on occasion, and sometimes holiday in a caravan, but I pay for the privilege with money that I've grafted for. And with not a burberry cap nor piece of bling to be seen.

CW
 
#15
Rodney2q said:
Mrs Rodney2q and I always manage to have a chav free holiday by going to places where the locals don't speak English (or very little) the bars and restaurants don't offer all day English breakfasts, English beer, English menus or English TV.

A decent phrasebook for the local language, say please and thank you, and hey presto - nice holiday, friendly locals and no effin' chavs!
:D :D :D

Rodney2q
Absolutly! Fcuk all-inclusive resorts. I went to Rome a couple of years ago, no English chav scum in sight plus the locals love it if you try and speak their language. 9 times out of ten they can speak English far better than you can speak Italian and are more willing to do so if you make the effort.
 
#16
CaptainWillard said:
It's becoming more apparent that in some people's scramble to now be seen as middle class, everyone supposedly beneath them or with less money is now relegated to the ranks of 'Chav'.

F##k off you pretentious c#nts!!!. I may eat omlettes on occasion, and sometimes holiday in a caravan, but I pay for the privilege with money that I've grafted for. And with not a burberry cap nor piece of bling to be seen.

CW
Easy Tiger! Theres a difference between respectable working class and chav! Wanting to experiance a bit of someone elses culture and cuisine does not mean you are trying to be middle class!
 
#18
Sounds like Captain Willard has a chip on his shoulder. Being a Chav is about what you do and how you behave. It has nothing to do with class. In fact I would go so far as to say that most of the Chavs I have met can in no way be considered working class as they do not work.

Living in Holland I avoid Amsterdam like the plague due to the amount of UK mong Chavs who infest the place.
 
#19
Camping is generally chav-free, especially family-friendly camp sites. Too high maintenance for chavs to handle. Short city breaks tend to be chav-free, as the architectural and cultural delights of cities from Barcelona to Salzburg tend to be over their horizons.

We went to Tenerife ten years ago....ended up walking along to the "German" bit as it was far more civilised (east of Las Americas or whatever it is called) and a little bit further got us to a nice local seafood restaurant.

Edited to add: same in Spain. We went to the Costa Blanca, stayed near the European/German bits (Calpe, Gandia) and nowhere near Benidorm.....far nicer!!! So even in chav destinations there is hope, just follow the signs....towels over deck-chairs at 6am, overweight gents wearing Speedos with sandals and white socks, hirsute ladies.....a little civilisation beckons!
 
#20
Old_Gregg said:
CaptainWillard said:
It's becoming more apparent that in some people's scramble to now be seen as middle class, everyone supposedly beneath them or with less money is now relegated to the ranks of 'Chav'.

F##k off you pretentious c#nts!!!. I may eat omlettes on occasion, and sometimes holiday in a caravan, but I pay for the privilege with money that I've grafted for. And with not a burberry cap nor piece of bling to be seen.

CW
Easy Tiger! Theres a difference between respectable working class and chav! Wanting to experiance a bit of someone elses culture and cuisine does not mean you are trying to be middle class!

Exactly my point old chap, but you put it more succinctly. Sometimes however, people fail to recognise the difference!

Up the workers! :wink:

CW

VNR
 

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