Anyone done much sleepwalking?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by brianlara, Dec 22, 2008.

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  1. Ive never done any sleepwalking that I know of, and ive always been a bit fearful of it. Last night it happened, in a bad way.

    I was having a dream about my girlfriend, I was talking to her and went to kiss her, I felt stubble on my face and woke up.

    I had got out of my bed, kneeled down and kissed my mate on the lips(who was staying over on a roll mat). I had one hand against his cheek and was leaning over pressing my chest against his.

    Luckily he didnt wake up mid-kiss, as hes a big chap. I sat there in shock thinking 'what am I doing here?'. Im still in shock now.

    I told him this morning, I feel its my duty, hes taken the piss out of me all day, so feel free to do the same. Imagine if this happened on P Coy or something!

    Anyone had any similar experiences? Please?
  2. Nope
    Never kissed a bloke, in my sleep or otherwise, sorry but you are on your own with that one.....
    Perhaps Jarrod could advise?
  3. You're not using the old sleep walking excuse are you? Just tell him you have the hots for him and get it over with, who knows he may feel the same way :wink:
  4. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    Yeah, yeah. 'I was asleep', that old chestnut! You mean 'I think he caught me snogging him, and came up with 'sleepwalking'' ;)

    I have done a fair bit of it before (sleepwalking). Gone outside, had a bit of a walkaround, poured myself a glass of milk, totally asleep. Bit worrying, wandering around and suddenly waking up...

    Haven't done it for a while.

    A girl at my school, back in the day, sleepwalked off of a flat roof in Morroco. Fall would have killed her had it not been for the fact she was totally relaxed and in the land of nod.
  5. This is you isn't it? ! :lol:

  6. Thought it was you? :D
  7. Yup,

    Staying round the missus' gaff. Went to the local, got smashed, went back and crawled into bed with her brother butt neked. Then proceeded to spoon him.

    She came into the room, went fu*king spastic and dragged me out.

    Didn't kiss him though, thats just fcuking gay! :wink:
  8. I used to sleep walk when i was a kid.
    woke up, walked out of my room, down the stairs, unlocked the door (which had a deadbolt), along the landing, down the communal stairs, out the door, across a car park, over a main road and got to a One Stop in Lordshill before my dad caught up with me. apparently, he carried me home and i only woke up when he got me back into the flat.
  9. when i was a little lad (i didn't use wee for a reason that follows), of about 3 i got up slept walked into my parents room and emptied my bladder into my parents wardrobe.

    however i didn't feel the urge to kiss any big men with stubble 'whilst asleep' thats just abit weird. your not in 2 para are you?
  10. Ok, someone in their sleep, on a course in about 87, in one of those split eight man rooms on the second floor, got out of bed in the middle of the night and felt their way around the walls in the dark to reach the open window.

    And it was him who (almost) wazzed out of the window in his sleep, but not quite, because he was asleep. And it was him who kept schtumm next morning, as someone else wiped the ledges, mopped it up, and changed the bedspread whilst muttering f+*cki*ng dirty sl@ck ar+*""d ba@£$%d p+s&*ng out the window.."

    And it was the same bloke who discharged a silent and violent during lectures on a hot summer afternoon, and started a fight between the oppos standing round blaming each other....` what a cnut that man was.
  11. I've got my very own stalker! ;)
  12. I prefer the term Obsessive Pychotic if it's all the same to you. Stalker is a bit dated. As you've now got me sussed any chance of waving goodnight to me later, sitting in bushes all day hoping top catch a glance of you can be so soul destroying :D
  13. I thought you were gay if after giving a gentleman of the night the good news in the bottom department you shot your bolt inside him, then sucked out said bolt with a straw and spurted it into his mouth to ensure good lubrication whilst he rimmed you? :hump:

    Is that right?
  14. Yep, there's no doubt, in my mind, that you are a fudge packer in denial. It was your unconscious mind that did it. :wink:

    I've sleepwalked since I was a nipper. I've been known to get out of bed to prepare food (but not eat it), wander around aimlessly, or even walk out to the front of the house. All naked. I've tried wearing clothes in bed but I always end up out of them.

    One embarrassing episode occurred at the Jurys Kensington Hotel. I was down to visit the missus, who was a student in London. After a nice meal and a few drinks we retired back to the room for a bit of nasty.

    At about 1.20 in the am I was suddenly woken violently by the missus. You know what it's like when you're woken suddenly -- it takes a few moments to figure out what the feck is going on.

    After those initial seconds had passed, and focus had returned, it transpired that I had got out of bed, naked, and had walked into the corridor. Apparently, I had been mumbling incoherently, whilst stroking myself off in front of a middle aged couple from Uttoxeter (I wouldn't let them pass), who were returning from a night on the West End. Cue the arrival of staff members and it was time for me to retreat.

    Humiliated, I shuffled off apologetically, mutton dagger in hand with the missus staying behind to explain the reason behind my public tossing exhibition. :oops: