Anybody fancy a cheap cruise holiday?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Blogg, Mar 1, 2012.

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  1. Going to be some bargins about....

    Costa Allegra: passengers tell of 'hell’ on-board

    "Conditions inside the cabins were said to have been “beyond horrific” due to the lack of air conditioning and running water. Lavatories overflowed and they were fed on little but spam sandwiches.

    They were forced to sleep on deck in sweltering temperatures of up to 35C and said that the stench in the corridors and cabins was so bad it would remain with them “for a long time”.

    David Tinson and his wife Denise, from Headley Down, Hampshire, accused Costa of “utter incompetence”.

    Mr Tinson, director of a property company, said: “They treated everyone like cattle, with absolute contempt."

    Spam sandwiches. The horror......

    Costa Allegra: passengers tell of 'hell’ on-board - Telegraph
  2. Well what do the penny pinching ***** expect when the ******* ship sets on fire. Anyone who says a BBQ will be molested by Sluggy.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Would've been better off holidaying in an Austin Allegro.
  4. Even without the overflowing shitters and lack of air-conditioning, a sea cruise is my idea of hell. A couple of years ago my missus went on a cruise with a mate of hers and her mother. When I was picking them up at Southampton on their return, the majority of passengers shuffling through the arrival hall were either clinically obese or close to death. On top of being stuck in the middle of an ocean with hundreds of people you would avoid in real life, there is the added horror of the cabaret. No thanks.
    I'd much rather lie on a beach pretending to read a book, surrounded by young stunners in bikinis.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Spam sandwiches? Lucky bastards!
    The Chippy could have got a few idle hands (crew & pax) together to rig crappers over the ships side - easy peasy.
    OTOH, if they'd been given kaolin sandwiches then the Chippy could have stood down :)
  6. My idea of hell and don't forget all these cruises get a number of passengers with food poisoning anyway, you don't see them as they are confined to cabin. They are off-loaded last so they don't get bad publicity.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. True. But I am led to believe that there are certain sections of society who might take a different view.

    All gay cruises by Atlantis Events 2012

    Having seen the (edited) holiday pictures of somebody thus inclined indicated that a good time was most certainly being had by all
  8. Christ I bet it reeks of AIDS.
  9. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    The pampered old puffs have clearly never visited... ooh, lets see? The Horn Of Africa? A Favella anywhere. A pub in Sunderland...

    Lets face it, for the last four days the conversation would have centred around one thing. "How much compo?" And the smart move would be to bleat your head off as soon as somebody stuck a mic in your face. These cute soundbites are taken from the first 4 paragraphs of their opening statement to the US Courts - sorry. The press.

    three days of “hell”
    expressed disgust
    anger with Costa Cruises staff
    “beyond horrific”
    Lavatories overflowed
    sweltering temperatures
    stench in the corridors and cabins
    “utter incompetence”.
    “They treated everyone like cattle, with absolute contempt.
    • Like Like x 3
  10. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    Surprised that nobody has said "It was just like the Titanic" yet.
  11. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Book Reviewer Kit Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Sounds just like one of the 'luxury' cruises on the grey Funnel Line RFA Sir Galahad/Percival etc in the 1970's.
    • Like Like x 2
  12. I'd have shared your views up until i learned that, apparently, the Costa line also features Russian hookers and Moldovan go-go dancers. I can now begin to see the attraction of a cruise...
  13. Unfortunately, it would appear the East European "entertainers" are reserved for certain members of the crew.
  14. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    He says. Bet you're booking up for the next one even as we speak. Just be warned, some Carib islands won't let you land cos they're morally outraged.
  15. I'm too antisocial to mix with a ship full of people wanting my delicious manly body.