Any recent Darwin Award contenders locally?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sportbilly42, Nov 16, 2010.

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  1. They're out there.... living amongst us.... The living brain dead with an overwhelming desire to bring their own family line to an abrupt end...

    Honestly, It's kinda scary really....

    Had to attend an RTA site visit yesterday to go through the events leading up to a recent fatal traffic collision. Despite the serious... nay, TRAGIC consequences.... all officers in attendance could hardly keep the smile from our faces as we went through the facts...

    Fairly large group of blokes (in their thirties, so not young daft twats), pratting about by the side of a residential road in the evening walking home after having a few sherbets as part of an all day drinkies gathering.... The road's street lit and it's a 20mph limit, so peshed-up Darwin contender No1 decides it would be fun to play chicken with an approaching car... (I mean the driver's going to SEE him right as it's 20mph and street lit?)

    He lies down in the road and plays dead, accompanied to much merriment from his mates...

    Unfortunately for him the woman driver only sees blokes pratting about by the side of the road and a 'coat' lying in the road and feels intimidated enough to put the hammer down to get past them.....

    The 'coat' doesn't move and the consequences are messy..... ! (Needed a fair amount of Spilsorb to soak up the resulting goo....)

    Any other Darwin contenders you know of out there? I'm sure there's enough to fill a book every week...
  2. Other than that I heard of one where two kids snuck inside a helium blimp forgetting they need oxygen to live thus dying accordingly. Maybe I'm just biased or I think eugenics for chavs is a necessity these days.

    Other than that there was that college girl last year who thought it would be a good idea to go sledding down a huge slope through field surrounded by barbed wire fences...she went straight into it and carried on 6 feet under. A Cambridge university student too as well or so they say.
  3. Happened a couple of days ago too...
    BBC News - Tributes to 'helium death' teenager from Newtownabbey
  4. few years ago.
    bloke trying to get his kids kite aloft ran backwards off the cliffs at newhaven.
    sorry i LAUGHED
  5. Trans-sane

    Trans-sane LE Book Reviewer

    Were they all sqeaky?

    Not local to me but local to OH's family. The honey-mooners that went for a drive in a Township outside Jo'burg. Can't spell it for the life of me and can't be arsed googling. Soettoe???
  6. Soweto. South Western Township. Just outside Jo'Burg I believe.
  7. I think that was in Cape Town actually. And regardless, driving into an SA township at night is not murder...

    It's suicide :)
  8. Sommat funny there, and I suspect not a Darwin award, but an arranged murder. Groom in hock to (?) £6mill. And it was Gugulethu near Cape Town, not SOWETO south-west of Jo'burg.
  9. "Hello Taxi driver whom I have never met before and will spend the next twenty mins on the blower to his mates, can you take as to see the 'real africa'? I only have US dollars on me as we have just arrived and have all of our spending money, but we'll be safe, see how I have skillfully placed it in a money belt around my waist."

    All that money and not a fcuking brain cell between them.
  10. When I lived in Australia in the late 90's my Mrs had a patient who managed to feed himself into a wood chipper by accident. Shoving great big logs into a chipper when it jammed, rather than back it up and start again he tried to boot the obstruction free, unjammed the log, leg went into chipper up to the thigh before the machine could stop, he bled to death.

    She seemed to have loads of patients who did things that were unbelievably stupid. One even made the international news but didn't die so is not eligible for the Darwin Award. Holloway beach up the road from Cairns, the lifeguards were taking part in a survey of how many stinger tentacles were inside the stinger nets. Stinger stings are horrendously painful and often fatal. They put nets up in the stinger season so people can swim in the sea. Everyday the lifeguards would sweep inside the nets to clear out any stray stingers. They kept the resulting stinger tentacles they collected in a coke bottle full of water in the fridge. Right next to coke bottles of cold water for the life guards to drink. The inevitable happened and boy genius drank the stinger tentacles. They helicoptered him from holloway beach (about ten minutes in the car) and my Mrs said the consultants stood round going wtf do we do with this one. Whatever they did he survived.