Any other seriously fed up clerks?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by coneheadthebarbarian, Sep 14, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I really wonder what if what I was taught at Worthy Down reflects my real job. I seem to be expected to have an in-depth knowledge of just about every thing in the army. For example in the last few months I have been asked the following questions:

    My wife/girlfriend sent me a parcel two weeks ago where is it?

    I stopped my Abacus Insurance 2 months ago, why are they still taking it from my bank account?

    Why have APC taken all the cheques I cashed out in one go?

    Or my personal favourite, can I have permission to wear this bracelet?

    Perhaps SET should do away with the Class 3 Clerks course and just issue us with a crystal ball and some bog roll. That way if you can't predict the answer to the question you can wipe their backside for them instead.

    So please somebody out there tell me I'm not alone!
  2. noone on here is likely to admit to being a clerk :D
  3. Fcuk me clerky, one of these days someone might take you right out of your comfort zone and make you wear uniform AND carry a rifle AND do phys.......can you see where this is going?

    You whinging twat. It's a birds job anyway.
  4. like the song says....If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

    Or are you just having one of those "I hate the Army" feck you all moments??

    Go out, get drunk and start a fresh day tomorrow, eventually another bone question will arrive,

    Don't give up on the job yet though, It might be better tomorrow.
  5. Let's face it, if I really wanted to wipe peoples a***s for them I would work in an old folks home.
  6. when you get asked a stuid question have you tried the following answer/

    With all due respect sir / ma-am...Feck off and stop asking stupid questions.

    If done with care and politeness the chances are you will get away with it, but then again,,,, maybe not. ho hum
  7. Would it have been better to have named the thread " Anyone seriously fed up with their Clerks"?

    Mine didn't know the answer to my simple question ' why are ABACUS still taking money out of my bank account ' ?

  8. As an aside....

    Was the reply a pal of mine gave to the examiner on his A2 QHI upgrade. :lol:

    He is still a B1 as you can imagine. 10/10 for a top reply though!

    Clerks? Agree with GB. Its a tarts job. Conehead, tell them 'I will find the answer and will get back to you'. Either that or self harm and chuck yourself off a tower crane.
  9. ...and they don't know were my parcel is.
  10. .....................Well? Can I wear this fcuking bracelet or not?

    Report to me in figs 10, naked from the waist down, with the correct answer.
  11. Please feel to take the p**s, just remember sometime or other you've got to sleep.

  12. Does that mean that you don't have to???

    Are you special??

  13. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    CTB - when you have the experience to answer all the questions to the satisfaction of the originator (does not mean you have the answer but can set them on the path to find it) then you will be a clerk. As it stands just now you are acting like a call-centre operatror who has no idea of life, the universe etc etc.

    Clerks will always get a hard time - fact of life. When you have arranged their leave travel at zero notice do you get thanks, NO. Should you get thanks, probably not as you are only doing your job.

    Clerks are a necessary 'evil' and all it would take is for all clerks to be sacked to have the hoi poloi talking about strike action (i.e. withdrawing their labour) because they haven't got their pay, rations, ammo, letters from home, plus anything else they consider to be 'clerky remf'.

    If you are a clerk, learn your job, use it for the purpose it is established, and baffle anyone who comes near you with science but send them away happy because you have sorted their 'insurmoutable' problem. Easy really - at least it was when I was a clerk (after having done IJLB, Recce Pl in my Bn, rifleman in a duty company and most sh!t jobs going). Also when I was a 'clerk' I had to complete my bft, apwt plus any sh1t the OC/CSM decided was on. So having done the rifle section bit and having handed in weapons, kit etc while the rest went to the NAAFI, Coy Club - you went back to the Coy Office to get the work done.

    Remember - once someone is beyond Pl Sgt they are generally 'clerks' of a different type and level - they are ADMIN. (Includes RSMs in the field whose 'published' job is ammo re-suppy and prisoner processing [slight over-simplification but not too far off]).

    The last point to remember is that most people who rail against clerks couldn't do the job, never mind having to do 2 jobs.

    Willing to accept any incoming from anyone who can explain how they operate as a stand alone soldier and do all for themselves, and can explain how they do that.