There's nothing in the bible saying that asses are not allowed to be lazy and certainly nothing about asses (or any other living creature) having to confess.
That said, I could see my way to getting you a discount on the following gucci service, which, you will agree, brings the salvation option right to the sinner's doorstep. Vot more could you ask for already? To you..... half price:
PS Arrsers will be required to obtain comprehensive 3rd party fire, flood and brimstone insurance prior to entering the vehicle. Ve have to protect our investment.