Anyone got any funny jokes/ditties that pokes fun at the Corps? To start the ball rolling here's one from me: A REME Battalion and a civvi company decide to have a canoe race on the Thames. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.On the big day, the civvies won by a mile. The REME team, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior officers was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion was the civvies had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the REME team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So REME management formed an Action Team and spent a large amount of Man Hours to get a second opinion. The Action Team advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent another loss to the civvies, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering commanders, 3 area steering 2ICs and 1 assistant deputy steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the ' Rowing Team Quality First Program' , with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra time off for practices and bonuses. The next year the civvies won by two miles. Humiliated, the REME management laid off the rower for poor performance, were all promoted, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and cancelled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Management as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.