Any cock ups you'd like to admit to

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
I used acetone to remove the sticky residue from the headlight beam deflectors on the headlights after a trip to Europe in a Suzuki Liana...

Didn't realise the headlight "glass" was plastic... :-(
In a similar vein...

As some of you know, I build model railways. Not me, but one of my mates bought a rare and expensive kit off ebay that had been part completed and very badly painted.

Now, one of the ways to remove paint from models is to soak them in Dettol for a few days (stinks but works). But my mate is in a rush and decides to dip the kit in his wife's nail polish remover.

The active ingredient in Dettol is isopropyl alcohol, nail varnish remover is pure acetone.

The following morning the kit was a blob of melted plastic in the bottom of the jar.
 
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Not me directly but I had to clean up.
When my flying school flew chevvron motorgliders , I was allways meticulous about clean unscratched canopies ( they used polycarbonate, you could hit it with a hammer without shattering but soft as fvck to scratch.)
Student R, notices a film of dust on screen of November Oscar in the morning, and proceeds to wipe screen with an expansive sweep of his jacket sleeve. With a small metal branding tag sewn onto it !!
After profuse apologies he offers to polish it out with t cut , which he did over an hour or so, and then finished the job by cleaning the T cut residue off with a clean soft cloth soaked in IPA.
Did you know Iso propyl alcohol dissolves polycarbonate.? Neither did he before that.!!
The kicker for me was the screens were all individually built up and fitted to each individual airframe with a two month lead in time and a 530 mile round trip to fit.
so I spent two days with a £25 plexiglass refurb kit grinding the screen back to something approaching optically useable so as not to loose a month of summer teaching weather.
oh how I laughed.!
 

BlipDriver

War Hero
I know that a GS400B that I owned immediately prior to the XS weighed 365 lbs and was much lighter than the XS.

Standby for update.... Google incoming....




Update.... wet weight - 249kg/550lb.

Half the weight I suspected, but still sodding heavy.

Generic photo, but identical to mine.

View attachment 607638

It’s been mine since I bought it when it was a year old in 1978.
Sodding heavy? Agreed :D
Not mine but found picture - bars don't look right though.

1633168856010.png
 

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Having one of those days I pulled up at the regular petrol station in a hurry to get somewhere. 20 litres of petrol in a Diesel Merc later.... Feck!

I top up the tank with Diesel. Fortunately my Merc has a 69 litre tank so I figure that it will probably be OK. It starts and I drive off home. After I get home I need to go out again so I try to start it. Takes a few turns and a bit of throttle but starts.

I spend the rest of the afternoon driving round in circles round the local motorways in 4th gear so as to burn enough fuel off to dilute with more Diesel. Well that was a waste of £50 worth of fuel and an afternoons wasted work time.

Topped off with another 30 litres super Diesel and it was then fine.

I've been driving Diesels since 1983 and that's the first time I've ever mis-fuelled.

I blame the fellow in the purple cloak who distracted me at the petrol station.


You were lucky.

Petrol station I use most of the time, but different pump.

£200.00 odd quid later, after having the tank drained of petrol and bottle of engine ‘cleaner’ purchased. Grrrr. F*ck f*ck. grrrrrrr.

The pump I had used without realising had the diesel and petrol hoses on opposite sides to the one I usually drive up to, and I went into auto filler mode.
 
Another driving related bollox up.

When parking up I usually try and use spaces well away from other cars, or are wider than standard because they’re on a curve or bend in the parking layout. This to avoid fu£kwits who park too close and hit the car with their own doors. Frikkin muppets. Usually fat &cks who need space to get their lard Arrses into their cars, or chavvy or careless twats who don’t care what they damage

Any road up, parking up on the end bay which has got space between it and the kerb, only I didn’t notice the bollard near the bumper. Frikkin bent the wheel arch and scraped the paintwork.

Drat, damn and blast.

Ah well, I know to avoid that bollard next time.
 
I had been drivin a petrol Yaris for 6 years , four weeks after buying a brand spanking new diesel yaris ...... well, you know the f ucking rest

towed it to my usual garage /MOT tester, they have the proper kit ..... young Colin looks at the car being towed in "I know what you've done dickhaed !"
Hogie , the boss comes out to greet me "You think you're going to get a real slagging off mate?...... just think what these bastards did with me last week "


It happens
 
Think I posted this before: mate misfuelled his Suzuki. Suzuki do indeed have several diesel models on their range. The GSX-R isn't one of them.
 
Off thread but I’m currently working on a project to do with some very big, very old springs that are at risk of going pop with epic consequences.

In nuclear plants you have a lot of pipework all over the place. It usually contains steam, but sometimes just water.

Anyway the pipe work is heavy and because of the changes in temperature, it moves.

The pipes are suspended on giant spring hangers. These springs vary in size but some can be 10 feet long.

Most were put in place in the 60s and are now inside highly radioactive and contaminated buildings where people can’t go. The clamps and fittings holding these springs in place have 60 years of rust and corrosion that has been exasperated by poor maintenance and being in a steam environment.

These things are all over the country. Pretty much all our early plants have them.

All are well over design life now and are at risk of going pop. The boffins did some calculations and reckon the biggest ones could potentially travel 6km if the clamps failed.

I’ll send the apprentices in to do that one I think.

Big problem - big solution. Give him a BFO hammer and send him in there swinging.

I hear Disneyland will be reopening soon. Good time to take the sprogs there for a holiday.
 
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Not me directly but I had to clean up.
When my flying school flew chevvron motorgliders , I was allways meticulous about clean unscratched canopies ( they used polycarbonate, you could hit it with a hammer without shattering but soft as fvck to scratch.)
Student R, notices a film of dust on screen of November Oscar in the morning, and proceeds to wipe screen with an expansive sweep of his jacket sleeve. With a small metal branding tag sewn onto it !!
After profuse apologies he offers to polish it out with t cut , which he did over an hour or so, and then finished the job by cleaning the T cut residue off with a clean soft cloth soaked in IPA.
Did you know Iso propyl alcohol dissolves polycarbonate.? Neither did he before that.!!
The kicker for me was the screens were all individually built up and fitted to each individual airframe with a two month lead in time and a 530 mile round trip to fit.
so I spent two days with a £25 plexiglass refurb kit grinding the screen back to something approaching optically useable so as not to loose a month of summer teaching weather.
oh how I laughed.!

Come to Africa. It'll fit right in.
 
Not me, but an old colleague. He had a MK2 Cavalier 1.8 that hadn't been serviced since God was a nipper. It DID, run, but badly, and was a bugger to start. He asked me to get him what it needed, and we'd arranged for me to go to his on a Saturday and get it sorted. I got all the ignition parts and a carb rebuild kit, cam box gaskets etc.

He rang me on the Friday night and told me not to come....

One of his neighbours had told him an "old trick", which involved putting a blanket over the engine "to stop the damp getting in overnight"

You can guess the rest.

ETA: my cousin did the same thing with my Aunt's VW Polo MK1 in the early 80's. Even more impressively, the resultant fire destroyed their caravan too.
 

O Zangado

War Hero
Some of you senior twonks will remember back in the sixties many doors had a spring loaded ball bearing that fastened into a recess on the rebate instead of a latch. They used to blow open in the mildest breeze. Anyhoo, me as a frenetic six-year-old came running at full chat up to Nan's two pane glass door fitted with one of these devices and put my arm up to push it open. I missed the frame and went straight through with the door still shut.

The result, of this serious cock up apart from life threatening blood loss, was that the glass took the tip of my nose off, left another cut across the bridge of my nose that missed my eyes by an inch, cut straight through my cheek into my upper jaw bone, left four serious wounds on both arms and numerous other lacerations here and there. A brilliant plastic surgeon, after 140 stitches and numerous butterfly plasters , restored my boyish good looks and now, sixty years later, the scars are barely visible. Anyone who does notice is told I got them in a sabre duel in Heidelberg over the honour of a wench.

The other less glamorous result is that I still hate mushed up Weetabix in milk, whiich was all I was allowed to eat for a fortnight because of the stitches inside my mouth.

OZ
 
A few years ago:

Spanks do you want some overtime this weekend, I need this metal fire door dropping off at a job site in Ottawa before Monday?

450 klicks, 4.30 hrs each way plus lunch, it's a $250 day. "Sure".

Already planning Saturday afternoon, evening drinks at a local pub I decide to do the run on Sunday.

Early Sun, I drive to the shop go into the back and pull the door and frame out of the rack, After decorating a porcelain bowl with a gallon of Killkenny coloured liquid I conduct a thorough POL check on the van by looking at the gauge's fire up the V8 and off I go.

It's a nice but fairly boring highway run at 110 - 115kph. Arriving at the site I open the back doors of the van and pull out the door.

NO I DON'T! The space is emptier than my head. Many F*ckity F*cks, Bollox, Craps, Sh!ts, and dumbf*cks later I slink but zoom off back to Toronto. This time at 110 - 130kph.

The return - return trip- is conducted in record time and the door gets delivered. I finish 17 hours after I started. The $250 OT pay swallowed up by a refuel costing $140, 2 meals, and a wasted day.

I keep stumm.
 
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40 years ago.

Mum comes into house ticking and moaning. Battery is flat in her car.

Dutiful son sees an income opportunity and offers to sort it. This will involve getting the car out of the garage backwards and shoving it close enough to my car to get jump leads across.

Sat in her car to steer, pushing it back with one leg through the open car door.

Rear wheels get onto the slight slope out of garage. Car accelerates backwards. Car door connects with inside of garage door frame. Car door becomes an accordion and front of garage parts company with the rest of itself.

Income opportunity evaporates. I was bloody lucky not to lose my lower leg.
 

Issi

LE
In a similar vein...

As some of you know, I build model railways. No me, but one of my mates bought a rare and expensive kit off ebay that had been part completed and very badly painted.

Now, one of the ways to remove paint from models is to soak them in Dettol for a few days (stinks but works). But my mate is in a rush and decides to dip the kit in his wife's nail polish remover.

The active ingredient in Dettol is isopropyl alcohol, nail varnish remover is pure acetone.

The following morning the kit was a blob of melted plastic in the bottom of the jar.

This reminds me of a fashion faux pas in the late 80’s.
Bleached denim jeans were a big deal, especially sausage side, and so I thought I’d get on board.
Bleached jeans is just bleach and jeans right?, how difficult can it be?

So I bought a brand new pair of 501’s and a massive bottle of bleach from the NAAFI.
I then filled my room sink with straight bleach, plonked the jeans in, making sure that they were completely submerged and went to work leaving the jeans to soak for the ENTIRE day.

I came back to my room, rinsed all the bleach off and as I lifted the jeans out, my hands went straight through the material, as if it was made of candy floss and not denim.
So that was a huge success.
 

jinxy

LE
Back in my driving days, I worked for Unigate as a relief driver, I was standing in for one of the old boys, who had a delivery round out in the cuds. The vehicle used for the run was an old Ford Cargo 10 tonner, the loading bay of which was metal ribbed. You used a hook on the bottom of the stack of crates and slid them off. I had made my first delivery Tolard Royal ( for anyone who knows Wilts/Dorset)

Arriving at my next delivery I found 2 lifts (84crates) of crates sat on the tail lift. I had not only forgoten to secure the load but had left the tail lift up and the back shutter open. The only thing that saved the load was the tail lifts drop down flaps, that were up.
 

cymraeg

War Hero
Many moons ago and before I knew **** all about cars I decided to service an old 525 I was running as I was skint as feck and couldn't afford the garage fees. How hard can it be young cymraeg?

Anyway after initial success and much buoyed by my new found mechanical genius I was on the last part which were the plugs.

Now on the old straight six lumps the spark ports are inline and just below the oil filler neck on the engine.

Que genius here on pulling the plugs and seeing the ends we're wet, aha says I must ensure to lubricate the new ones with oil (cos that must what is must be given their location) with copious amounts if oil down each post.

Que my suprise when the engine wouldn't start and My father in law looked at me like lived on Mars when I explained what I had done.
 
Many moons ago and before I knew **** all about cars I decided to service an old 525 I was running as I was skint as feck and couldn't afford the garage fees. How hard can it be young cymraeg?

Anyway after initial success and much buoyed by my new found mechanical genius I was on the last part which were the plugs.

Now on the old straight six lumps the spark ports are inline and just below the oil filler neck on the engine.

Que genius here on pulling the plugs and seeing the ends we're wet, aha says I must ensure to lubricate the new ones with oil (cos that must what is must be given their location) with copious amounts if oil down each post.

Que my suprise when the engine wouldn't start and My father in law looked at me like lived on Mars when I explained what I had done.

I know someone who did that with a Fiesta, except it was Redex and not oil. Filled up the bores, and the carburettor too, just to finish the bottle. Hydraulic lock ensued.
 

cymraeg

War Hero
I know someone who did that with a Fiesta, except it was Redex and not oil. Filled up the bores, and the carburettor too, just to finish the bottle. Hydraulic lock ensued.

With help of fil we pulled the plugs and blew the oil out using compression turning the engine over. When it did finally start **** me did it smoke
 

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