Anti-Talib Psy-Ops proposal

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by gobbyidiot, Sep 28, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I've hinted at this before, but to revisit - We value our lives at a reasonable rate, whereas many people are, if not happy to die, prepared to act as if they aren't bothered. We need to give them a reason to live. We need to make them decadent.

    Proposal - a pallet of tubs of ice cream surrounded with dry ice and polystyrene will keep for ages, and compared to compensation and military kit costs fanny adams. Porn (for example Asian babes) costs nothing. Vodka costs a pound a litre as it comes out of the distilleries, the rest is duty.

    How difficult would it be to get a load of mint choc chip, filth and voddy into the hands of the Talibs? Think about it, nothing good has ever happened in your life, ever. Twelve wa*ks, a mint choc chip frenzy and a bottle of Smirnoff and you think, "Hey, if this is the West where do I sign?" Couple that with broadcasts saying. "The average worker in Europe can buy "x" with each hour's work...."

    Okay, I'm being a bit flippant, but serious point - couldn't we "corrupt" them, and make them a bit less keen to die, for a pretty small investment?
  2. Isn't Boy-Thursday currupted enough for you? :p 8O
  3. An interesting concept.
  4. It's been done before but by offering financial incentives.

    These examples from Malaya:


    $500 Reward for Assisting Communist Terrorists to Surrender

    A thousand dollars for handing in a BREN

    The problem is competing with the seventy-two virgins. What would you prefer a shed load of money for grassing up your mates or a selection of virgins in the afterlife?

    However, kids are easier to bribe, just give them footballs*, colouring-books, pencils, sweets and nice leaflets and posters to hang on their mud-hut walls.

    (Just make sure the footballs aren't 'Blasphemous' )

    Edited several times for insomnia-induced mongness.
  5. That's the one, the closing bracket messed up the link. I'll just correct that.
  6. I didnt know GI was a ACF AI.

    Sorry,i'll drag my arrse back to the NAAFI.
  7. An alternative would be for HMG to buy up all the poppy production in AFG to keep the locals happy.
    Sell it on at rock bottom prices in the UK to put all the low-life drug dealers out of business and make sure the Chav end-user is getting a more consistent and safer product. In the process HMG makes a handsome profit and reduces crime and can invest more money in the Armed Forces and NHS. Everyone's a winner; how's that for PSYOPS?

    ...OK maybe not.
  8. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    I assume you meant 72 and it was a typo. But I agree nonetheless.
  9. Oops, yes that should be 72 virgins. :oops: In my defence I typed that at 5 a.m. my time and I've been awake all night with insomnia.
  10. Blasphemous balls my arrse, just print another version of the Koran, similar to the Saudi sponsored version (the one that says to use tanks and missiles, very 14th century) but saying what decent chaps we are, and how blood spattered concrete is offensive to all, not just Allah.
  11. Just point out that it doesn't say anywhere that these virgins are women.
  12. Or simply add in brackets that the 72 virgins they are looking forward to should all be taken in marriage and provided for afterwards...
  13. Don't afghan men quite like to bum each other anyway?
  14. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    nah they only do boys, which is why every fukcer that can grows a beard.