Ant Powder " The Trade Secret"

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by TURRETMUPPET, May 26, 2007.

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  1. having come of age and nearing a cross roads in life i have decided to pass on one of my Trade Secrets.Having a penis that ressembles a Chipstick with an M&M on and despite the years of ridicule and cruel jibes whether in the showers or on parade i have found the cure."Ant Powder"
    having just finished a session at the gym ( to build up the other muscles in my body ) i hit the shower and then started to dust down..after a few seconds i felt a stinging sensation on my knob and to my horror i hadnt dusted myself with johnsons baby talc not even a spare bottle of fullers earth but bloody Ant Powder which i had used earlier to fend off a recce party of ants who were after the crumbs from my mornings egg banjo.Alas when the stinging subsided i looked down on my coated member and lo and behold it was HUGE...i mean my knob was like a Blood Orange in colour and size beating away as it became erect i could even see the blood and viens under the layer of skin containing my knob....i was a new man..they say most discoveries have been found by accident...Gunpowder,Penicllan etc.every night now before i go out i give the Lad a good sprinkling of the stuff and once the tears dry its down the town to introduce Mr Henry to the local more the butt of jokes

    you got this off one of those emails men get didn't you - hooped. mk
  2. so not only is it now visible to the naked eye, but you won't be getting an ant infestation. What a great day you must be having.
  3. Not knowing which powder you have used I wouldn't like to say what the risks are to you , but one popular brand has this written on it

    so no BJ's for you tonight then.
  4. T-M this may explain why you never got repeat dates, the poor girls probably ended up in A&E.
  5. Had read and yes i understand the contact with skin but surely penile tissue is layered and adapted to harsh environments etc. it the most friction proof piece of material i know off besides i`d rather take the risk and odd hot twang of pain than Live with the nickname "Hung like a horsefly"
  6. Don't forget the body has an ability to absorb things through the skin, especially the mucus membranes. Nothing like a good systemic poison to ruin your weekend.

    Of course if the lass becomes ill/dies through this then you have the added bonus of assault/manslaughter charges. (this is assuming that you actually manage to pull, though I'm suspecting that you may have some chemical assistance for that too)

    For best penis enlargement results see any email inbox without a spam filter, there are plenty of people out there concerned about the size of your willy.
  7. Bloody hell theoriginalphantom....i feel so guilty about it now..i may have caused damage even to my brain....but its Mine Mine all Mine
  8. If I ever have erection problems I normally rub a 14yr old cadet over my penis. Bingo! Like tungsten.
  9. I wish there were more people concerned about the size of my willy.

  10. I've never had any emails offering to sell me a cadet before.. must check my spam filter settings I suppose.
  11. Once had a young chappy sting his old man in a nettle patch one night during an Ex in Norfolk, next day he came to show the offending member with tears in his eyes,wether from pain or joy we could not tell but hey if it works well, why not ,it gave the rest of the Plt hours of mirth and jokes about taking away the pain but leave the swelling Matron! ooh err!. I think this a safer bet than ant powder TurretMuppet and it can be seen as an Holistic and natural remedy so all those ladies of a veggy persuasion are open to a bit of 'green' fun also.Result!!
  12. Old news, the Knocking Shops of 'Ye olde London' used to get fresh deliveries of stinging nettles every day, just the thing for reviving a jaded Rake apparently...........Nettles and alum were vital tools of the trade for the Whores..
  13. Is this topic for real? Is Chimpy back in a different guise?
  14. I was beginning to wonder....
  15. Still Swollen and looking like a half peeled carrot. thats all i can say