Answers for the psychologist

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by a_nony_mouse, Oct 8, 2009.

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  1. Brother-in-law about to face a psychologist for the first time after coming off worse against an IED. He's been advised that when asked by the psychologist if he is angry with what happened, the answer "yes I'm angry what do you expect me to be!" is not the way forward and will just land him with more visits :D

    Any suggestions for answers that would guarantee no further visits to the psychologist? :wink:
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Try a bit of honesty and tell the truth. No chance of getting anywhere otherwise.
  3. Erm, how about saying something that says he doesn't blame the buggers for it and that what happened has happened and he has to look forward now???

    A load of rubbish but might do the trick???
  4. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I suggest he answers that he is grateful for a forward-thinking government for giving him the opportunity to experience the raw combat feeling, for allowing him to prove that The Great High Lord Anthony Blair was right, that Gordon Brown is an efficient and dynamic leader who knows what the ordinary people want. That his only regret is that he was unable to do more for Lord Mandleson and that it's a small price to pay to keep Labour and the Democrats in power.

    That should see him ok.
  5. If this is true, then he needs to be as honest about this matter as he can be and let them have the whole story. Anything he suppresses or anything he covers up or lies about may cause him even more damage farther up the road. If he needs help, they are offering him it and he needs to accept that it is help he is being offered not a sneaky underhand way of writing him off.
  6. Yes appreciate what you are saying but I posted this in the Naafi for some humorous responses to try and give him a chuckle... trust me he knows fully what he's up against.
  7. Tell him to mallet the shrink repeatedly over the head whilst saying "me? cross? Not at all."
  8. I suggest he replies to the shrink's greeting with the "I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor..." speech from Apocalypse Now... It worked for Kurtz.
  9. Pishing in the waste bin usually gets their attention.
  10. Underpants on head pencils up the nose shouting bibble in a black adder styley always makes a trick cyclist chuckle
  11. He could call the psychologist a psychologist walt.
  12. I once had to assess some one who was only wearing a brown 'dust coat',Huge wellington boots, and a duck mask(complete with bill).When I asked them "why do you think we have come to see you" they replied "oranges,oranges,oranges".I then simply said to the Psychiatrist "well that will do for me", try a similar presentation it should offer some scope for your Psychologist.
  13. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    In that case he should walk about in full EOD suit at all times and before going into the psycho's office he should let off a "controlled" explosion to ensure there are no suspect devices in there.
  14. tell him to do a Cpl Clinger from M.A.S.H and turn up in a dress, hat gloves and handbag! Won't make a blind bit of difference to the psychologist, but it'll give the receptionist something to snigger at when she finishes doing her nails!! And he might get referred to a gynaecologist which has to be a bonus!!
  15. Tell him to cup his hand by his ear and repeatedly shout 'WHAT?'

    That way if he fails to get some cash for the pyschological trauma he can always fall back on a few quid for hearing loss

    edited for truly abismal spolling