Answering Machine

#1
CRmeansCeilingReached is absent on Exercise Griffins Focus until 25th June 06.

Please leave any abuse, banter or England match scores after the tone.



BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP :)



(for all you darksiders out there, that is just an answering machine tone. there is no hidden meaning)
 
#2
enjoy it, cnut :D
 
#4
Evening Sir I am from Joe Bloggs double glazing, I am not trying to sell you anything but if you were to have a windows replaced in your house which one would it be?
 
#5
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? I take it no-one's in then... :omfg:
 
#6
Edited for cuntishness
 
#7
...You have... one... new message...beep...

Hey CR, You coming the pub to watch the England match tomorrow? I'm feeling flush so it's my shout, I'll be in there from about 11ish..., eh? No? don't fancy it? No prob, catch you later.

(Must be one of the few times I've been pleased to hear the words 'Sorry, you can't go- because you're only TA!')
 
#8
Hello this is trinity debt collection, we're collecting on behalf of our client Adult Toys-R-Us. It appears your subscription to bums-ahoy has lapsed and you owe £55. A further charge has been incurred for non-payment on a large "colon-tickler" vibrating butt plug. Please arrange payment within the next 7 days. Alternatively call John on the office number 555-9861836 and quite no 5582929 before the 25th of June. Many thanks.
 
#9
Older_by_the_day said:
Hello this is trinity debt collection, we're collecting on behalf of our client Adult Toys-R-Us. It appears your subscription to bums-ahoy has lapsed and you owe £55. A further charge has been incurred for non-payment on a large "colon-tickler" vibrating butt plug. Please arrange payment within the next 7 days. Alternatively call John on the office number 555-9861836 and quite no 5582929 before the 25th of June. Many thanks.
i gather he had a similar problem a while back with The Arse Ticklers Faggots Fanclub, a subsiduary of Bobbys Bits. he got it debt by £25 after failing to pay for the 'latest in arse-intruding dildos'
 
#10
CRmeansCeilingReached said:
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP :)



(for all you darksiders out there, that is just an answering machine tone. there is no hidden meaning)



HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA



bang!......oh feck I just fell off me bar stool :)
 
#12
Freind of mine used to leave a message that went as follows;

"Hello......oh hi.....yeah.....not bad thanks.... yep.....oh right....HA HA CNUT ANSWERING MACHINE". Caught out loads of people....women mostly..but then..you know...women....
 
#13
I dont do this shit no more woo hoo!

Was it hot enough?

I have beer and birds and footy to share until 24th June - interested. Then off to see The Who on 25th. I may complain at times but not this time.
 
#14
...You have... one... new message...beep...

C0CK!!!!

I love that game...
 
#15
Hello, Hello CR...are you there? You should see these half naked women in the pubs and wandering around town, beered up, watching footy and putting out for anybody......oh, are you still on that exercise thingy?
 
#16
How on earth are you going to survive without your daily fix of ARRSE?? Having said that there must be a few red arrse's up there you can take advantage of!!

More to the point, how are you going to manage doing work for a change?!

Enjoy pal. :D
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#18
Hello....HELLO....HELLO!

Oh, answering machine. This is a message for Mr CRmeansCeilingReached. Our records show that you have won the Lottery, but not yet claimed your prize, which stands at £8,342,785.54. You have until one minute to midnight on 24th June to claim your prize, or it will be passed to needy causes. Please contact Cumalot as soon as possible.
 
#19
Beeeeep:

"Hello, Mr CR, this is Doctor Jones from the Med Centre. Just to let you know your test results are back from the Gyno ward. Its bad news i'm afraid. Turns out you are suffering from **** hair crabs, syphilous (se?) and a ansty case of jungle-mans-manfat-porridge-ilitous. I can only recommend that you either amputate your own penis or prepare to explode from all the activity about to erupt in your boxers.

everyone at the Med Centre is a bit worried that this might be the start of an outbreak. There is only one other person suffering from this - the CO of your last Unit. Now, we must stress that we aren't entirely sure how you would have become infected. the only way to become exposed is to lick the crack of someone who has these conditions or if you'd accidentally bent over and taken it up your arrse like a 'trooper'.

Don't worry, we have informed all of your family, friends and work colleagues so they can all support you.

Contact us a soon as possible.

Goodbye"
 
#20
" CR, its your mum. listen son, I'm gay. Me and your missus are having a bit of bean licking fun. Well, you can't blame us, what with you galavanting off on exercise all the time and me being a nynphomaniac. Your dad is happy with the new arrangements. He is going to film it all and sell the videos on a new website bedicated to our love making.

Traa "
 

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