Another Stupid Question

What's the most stupid question you've ever been asked?

From a fat bird:-

"Would you like to sh8g me up the arrse?" :?
From spunk shy lasses:

You will tell me when your about to cum won't you?
"Would you like to claim a repayment if you've paid too much tax?" :?


Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
You will respect me in the morning?
Watching a DVD a last year with Mrs Nogg(MK2), DVD starts and i have to select the language, no English so i highlight Australian and press play, the silly inbred b1tch asks if we will understand the DVD if its in Australian. I spent most of the movie laughing like a madman.

Women, know your limits.
Mr_Deputy said:
"If I do that thing for you with the harness, you will let me out of the box for a few hours. Won't you?"
I'll go to Hell for this one, but why did "MDN" flash up in my mind when I read the above??? :wink:

Can you deliver kit that works on time and on budget?

To a Saudi prince:

Would you like an enormous bribe?

To a chav:

Would you like to super-size that?

To your wife:

I'm horny. Fancy a quick one?

To a mouse: Oh what a panic's in thy breestie? (ok, I knicked that one)
Yes indeed...Traffic Warden "I haven't officially served this ticket yet but will you accept it anyway..."

What do you think numb nuts...
from a Hottie "You promise not to cum in my mouth"
(Broken Leg when I was 9)

Doctor: Where does it hurt?
In Poundland: "How much is this?"

Makes me snigger everytime I say it.......
All of the following I have heard in the last few weeks:

"Do we get a choice where we deploy to if we're ever called up?"
Dumb on so many levels.

"Can I exchange this smock for one that fits?"
Supply Cpl suggested the forty-year old bloke would grow into it.

"Can I have some gloves please, the gun-oil always knackers my nail-polish?"

"Why do I have to carry my sleeping bag around with me all day, I only ever use it at night?"

"Why don't FP (Force Protection) get issued SUSAN sights then?"

"Can someone get out and direct me as I reverse? My bun's too tight to turn my head that far round."

"Which of you b'stards drank all my fcukin' orange-juice? I'll fcukin' kill you you c untting fcuker!"
Enraged hungover Sgt who was quite taken aback when someone owned up straight away.

"Non-issue trainers? Don't come running to me if you break an ankle in the gym then."
I SWEAR a Cpl said this to me with a straight face. I thought I'd given myself a hernia trying not to laugh.

"Who knows what a mycardigan... mayorca... myaccordian... fcukin heart attack thing... microdial infraction is?"
"Er, is it a heart attack Cpl?"

Enraged Sgt: "Don't ever let me see you point that fcukin' weapon at someone ever again!"
AC Numbnuts: "What if they're shooting at us Sgt?"
You could hear the grass growing it was so quiet. Enraged Sgt looked puzzled as he tried to work out whether he was taking the piss. Enraged Sgt smiled beatifically, patted AC Numbnuts on the shoulder and muttered something about always needing someone to draw their fire before wandering away giggling....

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