Another Plod Bashing Thread

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by bobjugs12, Aug 9, 2009.

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  1. In the spirit of all the threads currently going on about how all Police Officers are drug-dealing, fraudulent(sp?), smack-heads; with psychopathic, violent tendancies and and murderous intent I just though I would add my latest run-in with old bill for all to share.

    Yesterday I accompanied a female friend of mine to leicstershire for a 'driving experience' day out. This girl is a serving PC within the Met. I was sat there watching her as she climbed into an Audi R8 supercar, revved the engine to give th crow a taste of the noise, smoothly rolled upto the start line, saw a gap in the traffic on the circuit, started to pull out..............and stalled!!!!! :twisted:

    This is just indicitive of corruption within the modern police force. If maybe she'd spent a bit more time learning how to drive a car and spent less time on being a wrong 'un then maybe she'd have been able to have a successful race day.
  2. Why the fcuk did my local Farce reject me? 8O I have every
    qualification you listed! :twisted:
  3. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    You should have brought her to Birmingham then.
    Every night is 'Wacky Races night' around here and bad driving is compulsory.
    The added advantage is that the local OB do fuck all about it, presumably because they are too busy dealing drugs, being prostitutes and robbing banks.

    Birmingham-Deathrace 2009.
  4. They are just saving their energy for being called in to work on a "rest day" (e.g. football match or demo).
    They each earn £350+ for this if it is at short notice. If we had to deploy the Police in Afghanistan we would be bankrupt within 3 months.
    BTW if a PC or a sergeant retires after 30 years, his take home pension is virtually the same as when he was working. Not bad for officers who never have to pass a fitness test once they have joined.
    Basically the UK can no longer afford the current terms and conditions for one of the laziest most overpaid group of people in the country (after MPs of course!).
  5. A gang of coked-up coppers in Fred West masks have just been arrested for bum-raping crippled orphans.
  6. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    Citizens arrest was it?
  7. Bet it was the orphans fault :D
  8. 1. Do you/Would you work on your days off for free? Armed Forces aside, (most of us on here have done that and it's different)

    2. They actually retire with 2/3 final salary if they don't take a lump sum, less if they do.

    3. They pay 11% of their gross salary per month into the pension. How many others do that?

    Yes there are lazy coppers, and some are overpaid for what they do, have you never met lazy people and overpaid people in any other sector of life, or do you just Plod bash because they caught you once or twice?

    Plod bashing is getting as boring as waiting for the Government to do something useful!

    Oh and if we had to replace the Army with the Police, in Afghanistan, then there would be a lot more to worry about than the salaries!!
  9. No, other coppers nicked them. They were going to let them off scot-free till one of them made a joke about Mohammed. It's political correctness gawn mad I tell you.
  10. Most football matches and demos are known about far in advance of the 5/15 day thresholds for earning any money. It is also not a fixed rate, and is related to their standard rate of pay and how many hours they do at the enhanced rate.

    If I had a pound for everytime I've heard "smile your on double pay for this" from some idiot, when I am actually standing there on what should have been my restday earning nothing more than black time (normal pay).

    What you fail to mention is that they will have been paying 11 to 15%, depending on which force, of their pay into their pension for the past 30 years. Fitness tests are compulsory for some specialisations, which also happen to be where the OT is.

    No doubt based upon you knowing the majority of Police Officers in the country and being able to make an informed judgement like that.

    Here we go again... :roll:
  11. I'd disagree strongly about the 'laziest, overpaid' bit.

    The coppers I know (and I know a few) do try to work hard. They constantly want to get out and do the job they joined but are constantly hampered by paperwork, 'fashionable' training (EO, diversty, etc), special little projects, micro-management etc. Instead they spend so much time fufilling govt quotas that they feel disheartened. I'm sure if you gave CIVPLOD the choice between filling Form 217 out in triplicate, before compiling a 100 page report on the efficiency of filling Form 217 out in triplicate; and getting out, boots on the streets talking to the public and establishing a presence in communities.

    It's funny really, I can draw so many parrallels between the Civvy Bill and the Armed Forces. Big organisation; overbearing managment structure; fcuked around by Govt;some toxic leadership; not enough funding; too much time wasted on meaningless drivel; a few throbbers, some dribbling mongs, the rest a good bunch of blokes; doing a very difficult job that most have no idea about and even fewer would like to try.

    Big differences (AFAIK) is that they do not get free healthcare, free eye-tests, free gyms, or any of the other perks we recieve. Also the other big difference is that, at present, it's fashionable to love the mob and worship any of us bronzed adonis's whenever we pull on our dark blue, green or light blue uniforms; it's also fashionable to hate the Police and the job they do. As much as you spout off drivel about how sh1t they are, who would you call in an emergency? Who you gonna call if your nippers gone missing, someones breaking into your house, or when you notice the house across the street is full of Muslims carrying AK's and wearing backpacks?

    For all it's faults and problems I still reckon this country has one of the best Police forces (rank and file) in the world, and is the envy of most of the world.

    One final point before I get off my soapbox:
    As members of the armed forces who can honestly say they have never spent days on end doing nothing, sitting their with thumbs up arses, and I don't think the majority of us do to badly on the money we're on now. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!!
  12. Good post Bobjugs!
  13. You forgot to mention that a recent poll found 67% to be overweight, 35% had been convicted of a criminal offence in the previous 10 years and 94% are attracted to people of the same sex.
  14. Haha - You're funny!

    £350 a day? (I fecking wish)
    Only work 30 years (Not anymore)
    Retiring on 2/3 (Not anymore either)
    Never have to pass fitness tests (Try never have to pass difficult fitness tests)
    Lazy? (Well maybe the desk jockeys)

    Like I said - You're a funny guy. Who is probably fat. :wink:

    Incidently I got pulled over and had to produce my documents the day before yesterday. Jobsworth cnuts. :D
  15. Cheers mate.

    However I have something to add about yesterdays Audi trip. I got a text from the PC involved this morning asking if I had any knowledge of speed cameras on the M1. Turns out she may have been speeding on the return journey last night and worries she may have been caught. It just goes to show that good old Police corruption is still alive and kicking. :twisted: