Another Pikey Scam

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cutaway, Feb 9, 2006.

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  1. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Now that Colchester has expanded so much it seems that the local tricksters have come up with even more ways to thieve and pilfer from squaddies.
    Take this ploy for example, it's very enticing to the 'mark' even if a bit labour intensive for the layabouts.

    I tend to think I'm too smart to be taken in by these things and am generally switched on enough to see through them, but I have to admit that I fell for this one hook, line and sinker. Once I've explained how it's rigged I'm sure you'll see how easily it could happen to you.

    I'd been to the Tesco in Colly up by the magic roundabout and had bought them out of Blue stripe beans - there's a serious p1ss-up later this month and I need all the booze I can get - and carried the tins back in half a dozen placcy bags to throw into the Cuts Chariot.
    Two seriously good-looking young dorii waltzed over and started cleaning the bugs off the windscreen. They didn't hav the mongish look of east europeans, not were they dressed in a pikey or chavvish fashion so I didn't fcuk them off at the high port. Nice bloody shape mind - 'stacked' is the word I beleve.

    Once they'd done I asked them if they wanted paying or were collecting for charity but they refused any dosh saying it was a part of their sociology project at the Uni.
    They did ask for a ride to the Tesco in town and as I had to go near it asked them to hop into the back - the front seat being covered with Tesco's cheapest tins.

    We'd not long got onto Old Station Road when they'd stopped talking and glancing back saw they were swapping spit !
    Some astute site members may have noticed that I'm a big fan of the spectator sport of clam to clam combat and asked if they wanted me to drive somewhere more private. The Uni grounds aren't far so I took them up to the wooded area in the northeast carpark and thought this would be a cracking bit of viewing prior to an evening down the bar !

    Watching girlie fumblings is always treat but generally leads to me getting faint, so when they offered some oral relief I was not entirely unamenable to the suggestion.
    What I didn't realise was that as my eyes were rolling back in my head the other bint was retrieving my wallet of the cash, credit cards and driving licence and had nicked my bloody mobile too !
    I never realised this until I stopped at the local on my way home to have a celebratory pint. Cnuts !

    All in all it's a involved honey trap and one I don't hink too many will berate me for walking into.
    Be bloody careful and DO look a gift horse in the mouth else you'll end up like me, I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday,
    again on Saturday, and also yesterday and probably later tonight.
     
  2. hope your swiched on enough to go out with a decoy wallet with nowt but monolopy money in from now on to get a free carwash + lezza show.
     
  3. "Ahem" Tescos in Colly did you say?? Is that the one by that roundabout with 20 mini roundabouts on it ? & the drill is to hang about your car with a bag full of baked beans. Well it looks like I,m shopping this Saturday !!!!!!!

    LT.
     
  4. I heard about a variant of this one....When you get to the bit where she´s administering Oral relief . She bites down to keep you in check whilst the other one Bangs in your Back Doors with a Huge Strap on. once you`ve become unconscious they relieve you of everything and you wake up in a Turkish Jail having been sold by Slave traders as fresh meat!
     
  5. Shit, you had that one too??? :oops:
     
  6. class joke heard it before.
     
  7. keep an eye out for fishmongers in colly though, some of our boys took the smell of fish as proof positive and were suitably embaressed when the meat and two veg were discovered
     
  8. They were two of my female cadets Cuts. Thanks for the beers, takeaways and the 5* thai massage, I am assured it will appear as Mi Fuk Entertainments Ltd on your bill.
     
  9. I bet the story you told your bank and/or local plod was feck all like the one above. Note to myself, visit Colchester with duff wallet and old broken mobile phone.

    :D
     
  10. i actually caught some thieving gypsie hooker in Prague with her hand on my wallet as she tried to give me the old "you jig a jig" line, i had been drinking solidly for 72 hours nearly, and my normally razor sharp reflexes were a little off.

    I did manage to land her a hefty kick up the arrse as she ran off (empty handed)

    but then overbalanced and fell in a flower bed. :D
     
  11. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    See, this is where I stumble on the language barrier - my version of "jig-a-jig" is about 500 euros more than their version. Someone at Berlitz should really nail that phrase down to prevent embarrassment and armed-escorted trips to the cash machine.
     
  12. I was a part of one of these scams, but we decided to call it quits when we realised that men don't quite dig the man/man thing :oops:
     
  13. you been to Monicas in Hamburg as well then nugget