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Another Irish Joke.

#1
Apologies if seen before.


John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife".

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
 
#2
Apologies if seen before.


John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife".

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
A variation on an old theme, but still made me chuckle!
 
#3
The following is a customer complaintto the Irish Railway Company.

Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years,

and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day.
I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip.
I think the transportation system is worse
than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago
.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan


--------------------------------Â


Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings

of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history.
The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.

Sincerely,
Irish Railway Company

-----------------------------------

Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones

who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible
and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find
that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That.... gentlemen,
is something I have not been able to do on
your train in the last two years!

Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan.










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