Another Death in the Middle East.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by filthyphil, Mar 28, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. On or about this date, some centuries ago, Pvt Jesus. H Christ of the Queens Own Four By Twos, Nazareth Barracks, killed by an ICD (Improvised Crucifiction Device). His parents, Joseph and Mary Christ, received condolences from His Holiness The Pope, The Archbishop of Canterbury and millions of other whining cnuts worldwide who likewise had never met him. Mourners are advised not to put crosses at the site of his death as in the words of the centurion in charge "The fcuking things are all over the place as it is".

    "The grief is overwhelming,
    For words I'm at a loss
    But they're fcuk all use to someone,
    Who's nailed to a cross"

    R.I.P Messiah.
  2. RIP big man

    you'll see you pops soon after you do some rasing of the dead miracle stuff that your famous for
  3. Easter's been canceled, they've found the body :D
  4. Too bad this was not so - think of all the 'religious' wars could have been avoided.
  5. its all a pile of raghead shiote
  6. We'll see you again big fella.

    I'll break bread and raise glass of wine to you this weekend.

  7. Oh no? Really? Not Jism Jesu?

    O! When I heard the news
    Twas approaching a quarter to two
    And I hear tell I’ll no find ye the noo
    With your cheery kazoo
    O! You Jew!
  8. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    And the poor bloke didn't get his full compensayshun package. It was decided that since the injuries were, to a degree, self-inflicted, and that he had committed a criminal offence in posing as royalty, therefore he should only receive 2.5% of the maximum agreed amount, and that he would be denied citizenship, on the grounds that a) he was an immigrant from another province, and b) that he was dead.
    I understand that since the date of demise, there have been some sporadic fund raising attempts, and a couple of ARRSE- style outingss, mostly during 12th century, and nicknamed 'Crusades'. But we all know they were just an excuse for beer and whoring.
  9. He's a walt. He wasn't really the messiah- just a very naughty boy.
  10. RIP troop.

    Although I never knew you
    I'll weep and light some candles
    Gnash my teeth and pull my hair
    ...nick your shroud and sandals

    Size nines?
  11. RIP big fella.
  12. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    R.I.P. big man.

  13. Let me on that bandwagon!
  14. RIP the Holy Zombie.

    Six foot two,
    Eyes of blue,
    Died on the cross for me and you,
    Has anybody seen JC?

    (Just remember that shots to centre of body-mass won't work, head-shots only.)
  15. I think it's OK for me to now reveal he was one of Them, as the haircut & facial growth probably gave away.

    No relation to Jesus 'H' Christ of the Paras.