Another Death in the Middle East.

#1
On or about this date, some centuries ago, Pvt Jesus. H Christ of the Queens Own Four By Twos, Nazareth Barracks, killed by an ICD (Improvised Crucifiction Device). His parents, Joseph and Mary Christ, received condolences from His Holiness The Pope, The Archbishop of Canterbury and millions of other whining cnuts worldwide who likewise had never met him. Mourners are advised not to put crosses at the site of his death as in the words of the centurion in charge "The fcuking things are all over the place as it is".

"The grief is overwhelming,
For words I'm at a loss
But they're fcuk all use to someone,
Who's nailed to a cross"

R.I.P Messiah.
 
#3
Easter's been canceled, they've found the body :D
 
#5
its all a pile of raghead shiote
 
#7
Oh no? Really? Not Jism Jesu?

O! When I heard the news
Twas approaching a quarter to two
And I hear tell I’ll no find ye the noo
With your cheery kazoo
O! You Jew!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#8
And the poor bloke didn't get his full compensayshun package. It was decided that since the injuries were, to a degree, self-inflicted, and that he had committed a criminal offence in posing as royalty, therefore he should only receive 2.5% of the maximum agreed amount, and that he would be denied citizenship, on the grounds that a) he was an immigrant from another province, and b) that he was dead.
I understand that since the date of demise, there have been some sporadic fund raising attempts, and a couple of ARRSE- style outingss, mostly during 12th century, and nicknamed 'Crusades'. But we all know they were just an excuse for beer and whoring.
 
#10
RIP troop.

Although I never knew you
I'll weep and light some candles
Gnash my teeth and pull my hair
...nick your shroud and sandals


Size nines?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
R.I.P. big man.

 
#14
RIP the Holy Zombie.

Six foot two,
Eyes of blue,
Died on the cross for me and you,
Has anybody seen JC?

(Just remember that shots to centre of body-mass won't work, head-shots only.)
 
#15
I think it's OK for me to now reveal he was one of Them, as the haircut & facial growth probably gave away.

No relation to Jesus 'H' Christ of the Paras.
 
#19
He deserved it, all this rubbish about "my dads bigger than your dad"

anyhooo......R.I.P Jezza.
 
#20
filthyphil said:
On or about this date, some centuries ago, Pvt Jesus. H Christ of the Queens Own Four By Twos, Nazareth Barracks, killed by an ICD (Improvised Crucifiction Device). His parents, Joseph and Mary Christ, received condolences from His Holiness The Pope, The Archbishop of Canterbury and millions of other whining cnuts worldwide who likewise had never met him. Mourners are advised not to put crosses at the site of his death as in the words of the centurion in charge "The fcuking things are all over the place as it is".
Sweet Mary Mother of Swiss Cheese and all things Holy........say it aint so?

I had the pleasure of serving with Spr Jesus H Christ, when he was serving in Gods Corps as a chippie. He was a good egg and an assest to any sqn bar with his ability to turn water into wine.

Stand easy, mate (you may want to remove the nails from your feet first).

RIP

"Holy, Holy, Holy, Jam Roly Poly" - Winston Aristotle 384 - 322 B. C.
 

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