Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by chimera, Feb 21, 2006.

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  1. chimera

    chimera LE Moderator

    I heard her before I saw her.

    Wheezing as she strained her gargantuan frame through the carriage.

    Then there she was, jamming her revolting purelent obese arse in space next to me.

    Then she spends the rest of the trip dripping into her mobile to some (probably equally gross) friend about all her (obesity induced) medical problems and how the NHS (that WE PAY FOR) wasn't doing this that or whatever, whilst puffing and panting and sweating.

  2. Never mind public transport, fella. You're getting the cart before the horse. It's the friggin CAKE SHOPS that the dregs need to steer clear of in the first place.
  3. They should issue an OASBO - Obese Anti Social Behaviour Order, and ban them from leaving the house. :D
  4. Last week I saw a Fat Fecker in a mobility cart beeping his horn to get normal people out of his way as he made his way to the pie shop, really pissed me off! ... Until he got stuck behind a really old and deaf bloke with a zimmer frame (Going at a snails pace). The lard arsse was stuck behind him for a good 30m beeping his horn like a maniac and the old fella just ignored him/ could not hear him. Almost pissed my self laughing :lol:
  5. Wheelchair warriors are the best.

    The ones who are there due to a disability have my sympathy, however the ones that are there due to being a fat little fucker (and no, being a fat cnut is not a disability or medical condition) make my blood boil.

    I can't stand fat people at all me. People who are slightly fat I couldnt' care about (heck, I'm slowly going that way in me old age!) it's the obiese, sweaty, panting, smelly mess that take up like 4 seats. They treat it like a disability and expect special treatment whilst they're stuffing more cakes in their fat face.

    "look at meeeee, I'm fat! I can't walk properly! Give up your seat so I can sit my fat, sweaty, stickly, smelly arrse down!"
    to which I would reply: "you can't walk properly? Your knees hurt? LOSE SOME FKN WEIGHT YOU FAT CNUT!!"

  6. Here hold up boys and girls! Obese people on public transport are a serious issue guys. I mean to say, imagine if one of them actually brushed against you, you know TOUCHED you. You might get a bit sweaty or greasy but more seriously you could probably even catch obesity....

    When I see a bloater-woman on public transport, in that cocked on their side position so beloved of beached orcas, to get in under the table then I am immediately repelled. A flash of their "Old Holborn" is almost certainly likely and I am immediately put in mind of an old horse-hair stuffed sofa with a hole in it.

    I stand six foot five, weigh sixteen nine and was sat next to a creature who informed her mobile-phone correspondent (and the rest of us) that she had now shaved her weight "down to 240 pounds". She was five foot two! I am of the opinion that the trains should admit people on a)do they have the appropriate ticket b)are they dressed cleanly and smartly and is their BMI within a reasonable range for public decency!

    She later in the journey leaned across me, her mighty stump of a hand pressed on my muscular thigh, to ask if she could have the sugar I had discarded seeing as I was not using it. I of course handed it over but to be honest she didn't seem to be in need of the extra nutrition. Still, probably in bollox
  7. Perhaps if they walked instead of getting the bus to go 500 meters, they wouldn't be so fat. Then you could get 4 normal people on the bus for each fat one kicked off. The bus could probably go faster (less weight, see) and become cheaper (less suspension and seat repairs) and public transport would become more attractive to the fitter, better looking types.
  8. The biggest problem is that there are more and more of this type of person around, and even worse it's starting with kids. I used to know a family that were all obese, they had to import an extra large car in from the USA to get them from their house to the corner of the street. If it was something which they couldn't help then maybe I would be a bit more sympathetic, but when they feed themselves several mars bars per day, and eat more chips in one week than I do in a year then they only have themselves to blame.

    Anyone catch that program last week about the bloke who weighed 3/4 of a ton?
  9. In my office we have a gargantuan pie muncher. She is constant scoffing, bacon butties, large bars of choc, fizzy pop and has a reserve stash of 12 pack family assortments of crisps on constant standby. She is a loud Afrikaans and to add to the insult is ginger.

    Now to compound the load on our overstretched NHS she has imported a husband from SA. He, too is a magnificent specimen bordering on morbidly obese. He is over 20 stone, smokes 20 a day has a diet to match his missus and has been diagnosed as diabetic. Now there are a few questions that strike me here: If we already have enough fat b'stards why do we need to import more, why continue to treat him on the NHS ( which he has hardly contributed to as he has only lived here about a year and has had so much sick time that he is now unpaid for his frequent illnesses). The final episode is a corker ; he has been off sick with a mini- stroke but is adamant that it is due to stress not his colossal bulk and diet. Oh. and in the meantime he is suing the firm because he sustained an injury when the table he was sitting on broke under the weight of his fat arrse.
  10. Are fat people banned from going in lifts?? Surely if they are above a certain weight they would breach the 'x' number of persons or equivalent there of limit on lifts. As a SHEF concious person I would be wary of getting in one of Mr Otis' finest with one these huge bohemoths. Besides, they could do with the walk. And they smell!
  11. Reading some of the last fat threads I've noticed fat people more and more lately. I'm on the bike at the gym sweating away. In comes this chick barely reaching my shoulders. There is a good three feet between bikes. She couldn't even pass between the bikes to get to her own. I had to lean on one side like a motorcycle racer. Oh, she also chugged down three count 'em THREE protein shakes after her "workout". For the love of god why??? She had enough blubber on her to last an Eskimo family for six months. :( Disgusting!
  12. ... the counter argument to the existence of 'fat genes' or a 'fat virus' or even indeed 'glands' was given to me as a young teen.

    to quote; "If it were glands, then how come you never saw a fat person in Auswitz?!"

    ... harsh - but true!

    Lack of self esteem, self control and abundant lazyness = fatness. Put the fork down and run around the block you lardy waste of DNA.
  13. I think you are missing one important factor here. The safety issues involved in letting obese people on public transport.
    For example say you are on a train and a fire breaks out in your compartment while you are sitting in the window seat and a Fatty is next to you. It will take said fatty extra time to get out of their seat wasting valuable seconds as the carriage is filled with toxic fumes.
    Then once Fatty has extracted their massive bulk from the seat they will be blocking the isle for all the other passengers behind them, meanwhile the carriage is filling with more and more smoke.
    Fatty then plods forward at an alarmingly slow rate while choking black fumes fill your lungs, you are tempted to hurl fatty onto one of the empty tables as you pass but your sense of decency is stopping you.
    Finally you realise Fook The Fat Fooker push them to the ground and clamber over Fatty as do the rest of the passengers behind.
    You and the other passengers make it clear of the carriage, only Fatty is left in the blazing inferno, you see Fatty try to get up but it can't
    You are hit by a wave of guilt 'did you kill Fatty?'. No you didn't fatty killed it's self by being obese you saved the other passengers.

    Remember the obese pose a threat to you and yours don’t tolerate them they are a menace to society.
  14. Yes but these people go out not up. You try fitting 8 fatties into an "8 man" lift! Plus, Otis is American so I assume they make due allowance.
  15. And they must be highly combustible too...

    Fatties are a fire hazard and should be subject to HAZMAT regulations when being transported!