ANOTHER (BETTER) POEM.

#1
Here is my latest work, which I hope you enjoy. Nice comments are always welcome. It's about the fighting vehicles of the British Army.

THE FIGHTING VEHICLES OF THE BRITISH ARMY

The Challenger tank makes the very earth shake,
And causes our enemies to drop down and quake.
They are fierce and armoured and above all reliant,
Ho, ho, ho - green giant.

The blades rotate and cut through the air,
Reducing fleeing enemies to heaps of burnt hair,
The Apache soars upwards, proud and defiant
Ho, ho, ho - green giant.

The Warriors smash defences like hot knives through butters,
And deter all our foes, apart from the nutters.
The great armoured infantry help our country stay bouyant,
Ho, ho, ho - green giant.

The 432s may be old and long past their prime,
And the engines keep the VMs working, cleaning out the grime,
But they're still battle-winners when the gears are pliant.
Ho, ho, ho - green giant.

But the best of all is a one-seater for a soul,
A motorbike of flesh and blood that over the hills does roll,
For the soldier himself is by far the most gallant,
Ho, ho, ho - green giant.
 
#2
Does your carer know that she left the PC on?
 
#3
Christ i haven’t cringed like that in years well done it reminds me of Keats if he was a talentless cnut who couldn’t rhyme.
 
#4
The scanning needs some work, apart from anything else.

The last line (as a minor example) works better as:

"Ho Ho Ho- The Jolly Green Giant".
 
#5
Jesus, that's brilliant. I want to have your babies. Or at least I would if I was a bird. As it is may I just worship you for your awesomness.

Fcuk ....

Rudyard Kipling eat your heart out ...
 
#7
"better"

really dont hold back where is the rest of the Anthology.
can you print it off and send me a copy, my friend is hosting a dog for the night and needs something absorbent for it to sit on.
 
#10
Gremlin said:
The scanning needs some work, apart from anything else.

The last line (as a minor example) works better as:

"Ho Ho Ho- The Jolly Green Giant".
But that isn't how the song on the advert goes so if I changed it to that the double meaning would be lost.
 
#11
durchy said:
Gremlin said:
The scanning needs some work, apart from anything else.

The last line (as a minor example) works better as:

"Ho Ho Ho- The Jolly Green Giant".
But that isn't how the song on the advert goes so if I changed it to that the double meaning would be lost.
You could always get a picture of a Challenger with a Thomas the Tank Engine style smiley face on it, when you publish of course. Problem solved.
 
#12
durchy said:
Gremlin said:
The scanning needs some work, apart from anything else.

The last line (as a minor example) works better as:

"Ho Ho Ho- The Jolly Green Giant".
But that isn't how the song on the advert goes so if I changed it to that the double meaning would be lost.
Ignore him durchy, he is an ill educated peasant.
 
#13
Nice comments are always welcome.
Nice poems are also welcome

Here is my meagre effort

It is cold, this year in winter
my bastard fingers are freezing.


It needs a litttle polishing up, but it's up there with Keats and Kipling IMO
 
#14
Here is my effort:

Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
No he's not, he's a c unt.
 
#15
schweik said:
Here is my effort:

Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
No he's not, he's a c unt.
Yeah, cheers for that you crab c unt. Even if you find my poetry not too your taste, theres no need for personal attacks. Expect nothing better from the glorious RAF though :roll:
 
#16
Fair one, were it not for the fact that I am not, and never have been, a crab. I was infantry.

So having let you know that, I am sure that you will understand that your insult to me was far greater than mine to you. Can we call it quits, you c unt?
 
#17
THE FIGHTING VEHICLES OF THE BRITISH ARMY

The Challenger tank makes the very earth shake,
And causes our enemies to drop down and quake.
They are fierce and armoured and above all reliant,
Even though they're stuck in their sheds

The blades rotate and cut through the air,
Reducing fleeing enemies to heaps of burnt hair,
The Apache soars upwards, proud and defiant
It's a pity ROE pretty much deems them obsolete.

The Warriors smash defences like hot knives through butters,
And deter all our foes, apart from the nutters.
The great armoured infantry help our country stay bouyant,
Ho, ho, ho - They don't like IED's

The 432s may be old and long past their prime,
And the engines keep the VMs working, cleaning out the grime,
But they're still battle-winners when the gears are pliant.
Ho, ho, ho - They're fcuking shite.

But the best of all is a one-seater for a soul,
A motorbike of flesh and blood that over the hills does roll,
For the soldier himself is by far the most gallant,
Ho, ho, ho - You'll not see them on operations.
 
#18
You are the B@stard love child of William McGonagle.

Awesome stuff.... got any poems about compo tin openers or the use of the larchpole in the anti aircraft role?
 
#20
jarrod248 said:
durchy said:
schweik said:
Here is my effort:

Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
No he's not, he's a c unt.
Yeah, cheers for that you crab c unt. Even if you find my poetry not too your taste, theres no need for personal attacks. Expect nothing better from the glorious RAF though :roll:
Keep up the good work, don't be disheartened. You have real talent.
Keep trying Jarrod- he's still not going to do you! :D
 

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