ANOTHER (BETTER) POEM.

Discussion in 'Poetry Corner' started by durchy, Jan 2, 2010.

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  1. Here is my latest work, which I hope you enjoy. Nice comments are always welcome. It's about the fighting vehicles of the British Army.

    THE FIGHTING VEHICLES OF THE BRITISH ARMY

    The Challenger tank makes the very earth shake,
    And causes our enemies to drop down and quake.
    They are fierce and armoured and above all reliant,
    Ho, ho, ho - green giant.

    The blades rotate and cut through the air,
    Reducing fleeing enemies to heaps of burnt hair,
    The Apache soars upwards, proud and defiant
    Ho, ho, ho - green giant.

    The Warriors smash defences like hot knives through butters,
    And deter all our foes, apart from the nutters.
    The great armoured infantry help our country stay bouyant,
    Ho, ho, ho - green giant.

    The 432s may be old and long past their prime,
    And the engines keep the VMs working, cleaning out the grime,
    But they're still battle-winners when the gears are pliant.
    Ho, ho, ho - green giant.

    But the best of all is a one-seater for a soul,
    A motorbike of flesh and blood that over the hills does roll,
    For the soldier himself is by far the most gallant,
    Ho, ho, ho - green giant.
     
  2. Does your carer know that she left the PC on?
     
  3. Christ i haven’t cringed like that in years well done it reminds me of Keats if he was a talentless cnut who couldn’t rhyme.
     
  4. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    The scanning needs some work, apart from anything else.

    The last line (as a minor example) works better as:

    "Ho Ho Ho- The Jolly Green Giant".
     
  5. Jesus, that's brilliant. I want to have your babies. Or at least I would if I was a bird. As it is may I just worship you for your awesomness.

    Fcuk ....

    Rudyard Kipling eat your heart out ...
     
  6. Bravo, Excelsior, it is a triumph. The symbolism behind Ho, ho, ho - green giant is awesome.

    Magnificent.
     
  7. "better"

    really dont hold back where is the rest of the Anthology.
    can you print it off and send me a copy, my friend is hosting a dog for the night and needs something absorbent for it to sit on.
     
  8. My teeth itch. Aside from that it's a moving and wonderful piece of work. Keep it up!
     
  9. No no no no no! please tell me you are joking!
     
  10. But that isn't how the song on the advert goes so if I changed it to that the double meaning would be lost.
     
  11. You could always get a picture of a Challenger with a Thomas the Tank Engine style smiley face on it, when you publish of course. Problem solved.
     
  12. Ignore him durchy, he is an ill educated peasant.
     
  13. Nice poems are also welcome

    Here is my meagre effort

    It is cold, this year in winter
    my bastard fingers are freezing.


    It needs a litttle polishing up, but it's up there with Keats and Kipling IMO
     
  14. Here is my effort:

    Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
    Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
    Durchy's a jolly good fellow,
    No he's not, he's a c unt.
     
  15. Yeah, cheers for that you crab c unt. Even if you find my poetry not too your taste, theres no need for personal attacks. Expect nothing better from the glorious RAF though :roll: