Anoraks on Gumtree

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bumhole, Aug 5, 2013.

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  1. So, Im close to 60, and i doubt I will hoochie up in the bush ever again. No more wild rover for me. (and it hurts to admit).

    Over the years my garage has slowly filled with bits of kit. The usual gear that i am sure everyone ends up with. So I put it on Gumtree and woooooohhhhh suddenly i am the man.

    Im phoned, and SMSed every 5 minutes by anoraks. "Is this the 1988 issue or the 1993 issue", "the MK5 or the MK4 without the modifications". Who the fuck cares. Im selling bits of shit on ebay for a few dollars.

    Half of them sound like kids anyway. They always ask the dumb questions: "do you have the latest night vision binos with the built in radio mike and subsonic transponder' or some shit. Am I the fucking Q store?

    and half of them just want to chat. "Can I come and look at it" Fuck yes mate I will dig a pit and we can sit in it and watch our front" "REALLY???"

    "No you stupid fucker. I just want to empty my garage. not play COD".

    Is this normal?

    Should I just send the lot to the tip?

    Slightly pissed off
    Wopping.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Yes. Cunt lists shit for sale. Cunts consider buying it. They think 'Caveat Fucking Emptor, cunt' and ask questions of you (the cunt) about it (the shit).

    Don't want cunts asking you about shit? Don't sell it.

    Quod Erat Fucking Demonstrandum.
     
  3. I will tell them its a Mk7 with mods for "them" and saw service in Slapstania. fuck em. Anoraks. Im selling a fucking raincoat not a guided missile.
     
  4. Make you mind up - first you say you're selling on Gumtree and then say "Im selling bits of shit on ebay for a few dollars".

    I'm not surprised they're asking you questions.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Putting it all on both. I think Gumtree is owned by Ebay anyway......
     
  6. Do they come with issues of Fiesta and Razzle still stuffed in the pockets from the 80s...?
     
  7. Why on earth did you put your phone number on the internet?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Indeed. I'm going to crank call him when I have my piss at 0200.

    Bumhole, what exactly are you selling on gumtree?

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. During this lesson, you have been taught...


    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
     
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  10. I told you when you called, the raincoat is an M, not an XXXL.
     
  11. Piles of shit. Blankets from 1962 that saw service in Vietnam. Uniforms, echelon bogs, stuff that makes cadets drool.

    Some nice webbing that they might want back but I shredded my Q records years ago .

    Some rude fucker said "oh you are a collector then". I was issued with it you rude bastard.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. I have a windproof smock that was quite posssibly worn by a SAS Trooper during the Falkland Islands Campaign.
    What should I start the bidding at?
     
  13. Why would you want to start bidding on something you already own?
     
  14. When I sell it?
     
  15. That would be set the starting bid at.