Annoyingly Itchy Middle-Aged Ringpiece

SurviveToFight

Old-Salt
In New Zealand there apparently a bloke who rejoices in the name "Mr Ichyanoos" (according to QI, anyway). While I can only image the sh1t that he was subjected to at school, his torment is as nothing compared to my itchy hoop.

Over the last few years, I have suffered (and that really is the right word) from a itch in my anus, which has got progressively worse over time and tends to flare-up at night. Never has the term "in me scratcher" been more apt. Like a lot of blokes I have put off going to the doctor, partly because it seems like a joke complaint compared to what some people have to put up with but mostly out of sheer embarrassment (though Christ know why, it wouldn't be the first time I've had fingers up my richter in a "professional setting"....).

On this occasion, Google hasn't been my friend. I've never had any weird tropical diseases and, although I was known as a bit of a grot back in the mob, I do like to wipe lavishly. Maybe that's it? Any ideas?
 
In New Zealand there apparently a bloke who rejoices in the name "Mr Ichyanoos" (according to QI, anyway). While I can only image the sh1t that he was subjected to at school, his torment is as nothing compared to my itchy hoop.

Over the last few years, I have suffered (and that really is the right word) from a itch in my anus, which has got progressively worse over time and tends to flare-up at night. Never has the term "in me scratcher" been more apt. Like a lot of blokes I have put off going to the doctor, partly because it seems like a joke complaint compared to what some people have to put up with but mostly out of sheer embarrassment (though Christ know why, it wouldn't be the first time I've had fingers up my richter in a "professional setting"....).

On this occasion, Google hasn't been my friend. I've never had any weird tropical diseases and, although I was known as a bit of a grot back in the mob, I do like to wipe lavishly. Maybe that's it? Any ideas?

Sounds terminal.

What size boots are you?
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Get to a Dr
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Bad aids
 
Have you tried cleaning the mrs' vibrator before you 'experiment' when she's not home?

Alternatively, sounds like piles or possibly worms.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
ebola of the ringpiece
 
Farmer Giles?
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
wire wool and dettol
 
Yeah, the bristles on a Dyson stair brush adaptor probably do chaff a bit.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
clean inside and out

900667_900667__1.jpg
 
In New Zealand there apparently a bloke who rejoices in the name "Mr Ichyanoos" (according to QI, anyway). While I can only image the sh1t that he was subjected to at school, his torment is as nothing compared to my itchy hoop.

Over the last few years, I have suffered (and that really is the right word) from a itch in my anus, which has got progressively worse over time and tends to flare-up at night. Never has the term "in me scratcher" been more apt. Like a lot of blokes I have put off going to the doctor, partly because it seems like a joke complaint compared to what some people have to put up with but mostly out of sheer embarrassment (though Christ know why, it wouldn't be the first time I've had fingers up my richter in a "professional setting"....).

On this occasion, Google hasn't been my friend. I've never had any weird tropical diseases and, although I was known as a bit of a grot back in the mob, I do like to wipe lavishly. Maybe that's it? Any ideas?
If you have an itchy arse, do what the Chinese do.
 
Sounds like IISO - take your pic (edit: I really did mean 'pick') :) (a visit to the GP is highly recommended - don't worry, he won't look, he will get the nurse to take bloods and then refer you to someone who will take a look)

  • Irritants. Fecal incontinence and long-term (chronic) diarrhea can irritate the skin. Or your skin care routine may include products or behaviors that irritate the skin, such as using harsh soaps or moist wipes and washing too aggressively.
  • Infections. These include sexually transmitted infections, pinworms, and yeast infections.
  • Skin conditions. Sometimes **** itching is the result of a specific skin condition, such as psoriasis or contact dermatitis.
  • Other medical conditions. These include diabetes, thyroid disease, hemorrhoids, **** tumors.
 
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