Annoying Mothers...

#1
Have you got one?! Honestly if given the chance i would hit mine over the head with an ETH and fuck her off into a shallow grave somewhere!

She does my fcuking tits in!

As much as i love her. she is the nosiest fcuking cow in the universe, its like living with a member of the fcuking Gestapo!

How would you do away with your mother?! Hints and tips would be appreciated!
 
#2
Of course they're annoying, they combine the two most irritating qualities known to man, ie: being women, and being old.
Killing them is tempting but the chances of getting away with it are slim. My solution was to buy a property with a high wall and security gates, and ignore her phone calls.
Every year on my birthday, she ties balloons and flowers to my gate in a desperate day long vigil, while I hurl abuse at her and hose her down with my pressure washer.
 
#3
My stepbiatch,when my Dad died (My Mom died in 73) decided to cremate him despite dads wishes to be buried next to my Mom back in Brum,then scaterred his ashes without telling me & then saying her son was dealing with the memorial tree which,when I went to the cemetary & was told it was a load of bollux.
As far as I care she can rot in hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
#4
Shit the bed, and my post was purely in a rage at my nosey old bitches probing questions!

I still want to kill her though!...and i'm waiting on tips!
 
#5
sandmanfez said:
Of course they're annoying, they combine the two most irritating qualities known to man, ie: being women, and being old.
Killing them is tempting but the chances of getting away with it are slim. My solution was to buy a property with a high wall and security gates, and ignore her phone calls.
Every year on my birthday, she ties balloons and flowers to my gate in a desperate day long vigil, while I hurl abuse at her and hose her down with my pressure washer.
Balloons, and pressure washer's....Hmmm that has given me a excellent idea for a game to play at the local mlllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr school!
 
#6
Just stick a chisel in her neck on mothers day, it shows you're thinking of her.
 
#7
Poo,
It sounds to me that this is just sexual frustration.
Give your Mum a quickie,and it will relieve all your pent up anger and tension.
 
#8
My mum was that annoying, when i was burying her, she kept squealing she was still alive. So i replaced the ball-gag.
 
#9
vvaannmmaann said:
Poo,
It sounds to me that this is just sexual frustration.
Give your Mum a quickie,and it will relieve all your pent up anger and tension.
after all you've been there before, albeit a few years ago

WW
 
#10
Grin and bear it, she is your mother after all. You owe it to her to compress all your rage and frustration into a tiny ball inside, burning with the heat of a thousands suns until it bursts forth in an orgy of frenzied violence as you pick her up from the Church social.

That's what I did, she seemed to get the message.
 
#13
billc said:
Give her a couple of sleeping tabs and kick her down the stairs.
Don't waste money on pills,just a quick kick will do.
"Oh dear,she must have tripped on the loose carpet"
Please ensure you loosen the carpet at the top of the stairs first.
 
#14
poo_finger said:
Have you got one?! Honestly if given the chance i would hit mine over the head with an ETH and * her off into a shallow grave somewhere!

She does my fcuking tits in!

As much as i love her. she is the nosiest fcuking cow in the universe, its like living with a member of the fcuking Gestapo!

How would you do away with your mother?! Hints and tips would be appreciated!
Just a stab in the dark, which incidentally is what you'll be getting if you don't answer correctly,

How old are you :?

6 - suck it up

36 - get your own place

66 - bury her, no one will notice.
 
#16
In answer to the OP, stop whining, get your own place, take responsibility for your own life. Speaking as a parent myself, kids over estimate their value at home and outstay their welcome.

Trust me, you'll feel the same yourself before too many years have passed you by.
 
#17
My romantic Father tipped the ashes of my cremated Mother over a rose bush in a Scunthorpe caravan park. The person living in the caravan after my Father would have been annoyed at all the ash that had blown across the path so in a way I do have an annoying Mother.....
 
#18
Nope, not Gerry McCann, just a father who would like his kids to start getting on with their own lives, at their own cost and in their own space and leave us to get on with ours without having to live through their post adolescent dramas.

For them it's called "growing up", for us it's called "dignity", and for all of us, it's called "freedom". This mutual respect thing is highly recommended.
 
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