Anit-Chav Sonic Disruptors..

#1
see that the Local Government Association has issued a list of the top tunes on the " Manilow Method " for driving undesireables from areas like carparks, malls, etc.
hit the Chavs with Lethal Muzak:

experiments in Sydney Australia have found that Manilow tunes Copacabana and Mandy work like garlic on vampires to the unwashed.

Other chart toppers are:
Please Release Me [ Englebert Humperdink ]
Achy Breaky Heart [ Billy Ray Cyrus ] this one takes me at least 10 beers to fight off the effects

Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen [ Neil Sedaka ]
Bridge Over Troubled Water [ Simon and Garfunkel - but the Gene Pitney version works best ]
Close to You [ The Carpenters ]
Uptown Girl [ Billy Joel ]

personally I would have thought a continuous loop playing Pacelbel's Canon on the Glockenspiel would have done much more damage..
 
#3
After all that and if they are still comin at us,

call in the heavy artillary,

Celine Dion 'My Heart Will Go On' :eek:
 
#4
What about anything by Val Doonican or The Bathelors whilst systematically hitting them with Tazers and CS gas ? Or am I just being soft ?
 
#5
The_Dragoon said:
What about anything by Val Doonican or The Bathelors whilst systematically hitting them with Tazers and CS gas ? Or am I just being soft ?
Tazers and CS would be indulging them; they don't deserve it. I'd go with the Tazer (CS would hack people off).
 
#6
I prefer this Anit-Chav Sonic Disruptor.

I find it's sonic rays disrupt chavs most effectively.

 
#7
You can't. Saint Diana said those Cleh-mowa things are very naughty.
 
#9
He didn't resurrect ELSIE though did he?
 
#10
No, you have a point but, do you think he'll ever resurrect Saints Chantelle, Dean, Dwayne, Kylie and Waynetta ?
 
#11
Chavdoms martyrs.

Rap their names with pride.
 
#13
In my opinion the most effective song would be 'Happy talk' by Captain Sensible.

The most irritating song in the world.................probably.
 

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