Anit-Chav Sonic Disruptors..

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Jun 14, 2006.

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  1. see that the Local Government Association has issued a list of the top tunes on the " Manilow Method " for driving undesireables from areas like carparks, malls, etc.
    hit the Chavs with Lethal Muzak:

    experiments in Sydney Australia have found that Manilow tunes Copacabana and Mandy work like garlic on vampires to the unwashed.

    Other chart toppers are:
    Please Release Me [ Englebert Humperdink ]
    Achy Breaky Heart [ Billy Ray Cyrus ] this one takes me at least 10 beers to fight off the effects

    Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen [ Neil Sedaka ]
    Bridge Over Troubled Water [ Simon and Garfunkel - but the Gene Pitney version works best ]
    Close to You [ The Carpenters ]
    Uptown Girl [ Billy Joel ]

    personally I would have thought a continuous loop playing Pacelbel's Canon on the Glockenspiel would have done much more damage..
  2. Don't they play the Carpenters aswell :?
    Sorry, Close to You, I'm an idiot.
  3. After all that and if they are still comin at us,

    call in the heavy artillary,

    Celine Dion 'My Heart Will Go On' :eek:
  4. What about anything by Val Doonican or The Bathelors whilst systematically hitting them with Tazers and CS gas ? Or am I just being soft ?
  5. Tazers and CS would be indulging them; they don't deserve it. I'd go with the Tazer (CS would hack people off).
  6. I prefer this Anit-Chav Sonic Disruptor.

    I find it's sonic rays disrupt chavs most effectively.

  7. You can't. Saint Diana said those Cleh-mowa things are very naughty.
  8. Yep, and God punished her..................coz the Holy One dont like Chavs either !!
  9. He didn't resurrect ELSIE though did he?
  10. No, you have a point but, do you think he'll ever resurrect Saints Chantelle, Dean, Dwayne, Kylie and Waynetta ?
  11. Chavdoms martyrs.

    Rap their names with pride.
  12. In my opinion the most effective song would be 'Happy talk' by Captain Sensible.

    The most irritating song in the world.................probably.