Animals - Funny Stories

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Sgt_treboR, Sep 28, 2007.

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  1. Hi guys, this is my first posting on ARRSE and i thought i would lighten the mood by talking about things you have seen or heard about involving animals, anyone for starters?
  2. I once saw a hamster smoking a Havana, funny thing was his shoes were on the wrong feet.
  3. My mum got mauled by a bear when snuffling for truffles in the Rockies, not sure how you feel that is lightening the mood.

    Why not have a laugh at people electrocuting turtles too?
  4. Driving in Australia once I spied a humongous cane toad humping the day lights out of the uncrushed back end of a femal cane toad whilst catching and eating flies that were buzzing around her tyre crushed top half. Funny thing was 4 hours later coming back the other way he was still at it!
  5. Hope I come back as a Mr Cane Toad in the next life
  6. I had a goldfish, I fed him twice a day, first i would sprinkle the flakes in clockwise then....... anticlockwise.

    I dont have any other stories, except the one where i fingered shitter of an aardvark but thats more errotic than funny.
  7. I had a rabbit, who really didn't like his hair being stroked the wrong way.

    I learnt later that I it was better if I didn't stroke him with a belt sander.

    I saw an otter once too, but she just sniffed the air and continued to feed her young
  8. It would have been better if your first posting would have been at least somewhere near the right forum.............
  9. Oh you big spoilsport, tell us a story about an animal?
  10. Oooh did she look skyward with a slight whimsical expression on her delicate waterbound features?
  11. My dog (nor any other animal I have come across) has never told me a funny story, where is this going am I missing something?
  12. No, I thought the expression was more like 'Its friday night, I'm with my rights, I want a chippy tea'

    But I could have judged her all wrong.....
  13. You have to be at one with your pet 1stgulfmac, feel the force......then the pink lipstick.... and you'll never shut your hound up again.
  14. A horse walks into a bar.
    The barman says "why the long face?"