Animal Crackers

My iguana simply refuses to drink alcohol. I am at a loss, I've tried all sorts of things but it's just not having any. Not like it's a hermer or anything, little barsteward nearly snacked on the end of my nose when my guard wasn't up just before Xmas. How do you get a reptile to man up and take a ( lizard equivalent of) a pint or two ? I want to take this thing out on a lead in the summertime to threaten small terriers......if I can't get it drinking before then it's just going to be a farce. Suggestions please.
Try soaking some flies in absinthe and putting them in it's hoose. It's just that first hurdle, once he gets a taste for it there'll be no stopping him.

It's definitely a 'he' isn't it? Maybe try a small Babycham, just in case it's a lady lizard.
Good idea SmartAs, trouble is, they're largely vegetarian, although equipped with teeth sharp enough to chew through panda-sized bamboo ( okay, I exaggurate...not that much, though....). My main dilemma is, having taught dogs, cats, ducks and various other species the value of brewing, I'm at a loss when it comes to iguanas. Maybe I'll try The Nighttime Test. Chuck it back in the terarium ( bugger is lounging on the windowsill above the radiator right now) and swap the water bowl with one full of local rum. If next morning it's empty, either I'm on a winner or my neighbour has a key to the flat.
I used to have this problem with a hamster. I found out that introducing its head to an ordinary everyday housebrick, followed by intensive grilling, it made an ideal accompient to cheesy beans and a fried egg.
As an added bonus, the resulting leftover fur was died red, and made to look like an African Witch doctors red velvet Ju Ju pouch.
I have had good luck ever since.

If this doesn't work for you please contact me at,
The Gypos on Arandale St
5th shack on the left
You'll recognise it straight away, we are the only ones who are not family bakers.


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