Angry dwarf is jailed after sticking a sucker dart on his head and pretending to be a Dalek

#41
You've obviously put a lot of thought into this, I'm sold.

Can we replace the Blues & Royals with dwarfs mounted on golden retrievers? Much more economical as when the mounts aren't required for Trooping etc, they can lie around in RHQ stinking the gaff up. No need for actual stables see?
No, on Direwolves! You know nothing Jon Snow.
 
#42
I think there is space for a dwarf regiment in the British army, obviously they would need a regimental name and mascot along with uniform, and weaponary, adapted vehicles etc, I bet the would be nasty little *******, I mean look at the Gurkah's
As the LOTR films have run their course, why not use the kit from these films now lying redundant in some old film lot. It would tick a lot of boxes, MOD can acquire ballistically proven uniforms, austerity folks can relax at the cheap cost, visitors can remain impressed with our medieval past. Win win I say.
 

_Chimurenga_

LE
Gallery Guru
#44
As the LOTR films have run their course, why not use the kit from these films now lying redundant in some old film lot. It would tick a lot of boxes, MOD can acquire ballistically proven uniforms, austerity folks can relax at the cheap cost, visitors can remain impressed with our medieval past. Win win I say.
Alec, as I've explained to many of my supervisors repeatedly, those were NOT real dwarves and hobbits in those films.
 
#45


Skip to 3.30 to see him finally flick the switch on the bitch. I couldn't have resisted much past 10 seconds.
It warms the cockles of your heart to see the little children getting such a good start in life.

I wouldn't mind owning the junk food shop in that mall. I would be rolling in $$$.
 

Sadurian

LE
Book Reviewer
#46
Of course they were real. Not only did I see them on the telly, but why else would the orcs have been so keen to kill them if they weren't dwarfs and hobbits?
 
#47
I'm with the plod on this one. We all know how difficult it is to hit a small target. And if he was dressed as a Dalek the coppers probably tasered him while they were hiding behind the settee.

I wonder if him and his wheelchair were bounced up and down the disabled ramp back at the nick?
 
#48
I'm with the plod on this one. We all know how difficult it is to hit a small target. And if he was dressed as a Dalek the coppers probably tasered him while they were hiding behind the settee.

I wonder if him and his wheelchair were bounced up and down the disabled ramp back at the nick?
It would certainly make for a novel defence.

"He accidentally rolled down the stairs, Your Honour".
 
#50
You've obviously put a lot of thought into this, I'm sold.

Can we replace the Blues & Royals with dwarfs mounted on golden retrievers? Much more economical as when the mounts aren't required for Trooping etc, they can lie around in RHQ stinking the gaff up. No need for actual stables see?
the only down-side I can think of is the 6 foot wall on the assault course, however if we get clown/circus acrobat midgets then it's sorted.
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#52
You have to give him credit for perseverance.

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/Arre...r-Ian-Salter/story-26396819-detail/story.html
A DISABLED man due to be sentenced for offences, including possessing a blade in public, failed to turn up to court after claiming his wheelchair had been stolen.
http://quirker.co.uk/story/britains-angriest-dwarf-threatens-bus-passengers-with-butter-knife
A man who says that he’s constantly being mocked because he’s a dwarf snapped after getting into an argument on a bus and threatened a group of schoolchildren with a butter knife.
http://omnifeed.com/article/www.dai...est-council-office-kitchen-worktops-high.html
An angry dwarf was given an ASBO for a string of nuisance calls to emergency services and a campaign of public abuse just weeks after he mounted a dirty protest in a council office. Ian Salter-Bromley, 54, called Humberside Fire Brigade four times claiming he had either lost his keys or was locked out of his council flat and needed crews to let him in.
I guess that comes of being short tempered...

Wordsmith
 
#54
#55
Well, that answers my question about whether rubber tyres protect you from tasers.

Though thinking more deeply about it, they're firing both poles* at you.


*Other Eastern Europeans are available.
(Snigger) short circuits (snigger)
 
#57
Im-per-son-ate! Angry dwarf is jailed after sticking a sucker dart on his head and pretending to be a Dalek in row which led to him being Tasered twice by police

Ian Salter-Bromley, 55 (left and right) filled his mouth with dominoes before shouting 'Exterminate! Exterminate!' at two carers in a row which led to him being Tasered twice by police. The court heard how Salter-Bromley, who is 4ft tall, had initially been 'quite jolly' when the carers visited his sheltered housing complex in Hull. But he then threatened to kill one of the members of staff, chanting: 'I'm a Dalek! I'm going to kill you Joe!' in the manner of the Doctor Who creature (inset). Hull Crown Court heard how Salter-Bromley then barricaded his flat door, which led to a stand-off with police. When officers finally burst in, he was holding a 20cm knife and was so angry that 'veins were sticking out of his neck'. Officers then stunned him because they 'feared for their welfare', the court heard. Salter-Bromley has now been jailed for nine months after admitting a string of offences, including affray and threatening police.

Shocking story. The level of disrespect shown to Daleks is incredible.
 
#59
They could remake some of the greatest war films ever, with a full dwarf cast, The Cruel Pond, The long and the short and the short, Zulu dwarf. there is money to be made here.
 

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