Andy Capp's Commandos (aka Aldershot Concrete Company)

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by greysuit, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Delia's Way
    To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    The Real Woman's Way
    Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

    Delia's Way
    When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

    The Real Woman's Way
    Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

    Delia's Way
    If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

    The Real Woman's Way
    If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh*t. Your family will eat it and be grateful for it, no matter how bad it tastes.

    Delia's Way
    Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting it in the refrigerator and It will keep for weeks.

    The Real Woman's Way
    It could keep forever for all I care. Who eats it anyway?

    Delia's Way
    Brush some beaten egg white over piecrusts before baking to give beautiful glossy finish.

    The Real Woman's Way
    Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include time-wasting instructions to brush anything over anything.

    Delia's Way
    Cure for headaches:
    Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on Your forehead.
    The throbbing will go away.

    The Real Woman's Way
    Cure for headaches:
    Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 Ounces of vodka.
    Drink the vodka.
    The throbbing won't matter any more.

    Delia's Way
    If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
    They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    The Real Woman's Way
    What do you think men are for?

    Delia's Way
    Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

    The Real Woman's Way
    Leftover wine???? HELLO!!!!