And so it begins - again... [A fireworks-hate thread]

[NSP]

Some chod doing his impression of a small-scale artillery engagement over the way. I thought the government had climbed aboard this sort of thing by limiting when fireworks can be sold now?? FFS, the glorious celebration of the only person to ever enter the Palace of Westminster with the right idea is six weeks off!!

Has someone slipped up with the rules this year, is this just a one off by some fuckweasel who's burning off some he's got saved up from last year or am I just a miserable old cunt...?

No, on reflection don't bother with No.3; I already know I'm a cunt.

 

[Winnet]

Excellent. Not long until the Chav hunting season proper.

 

[lokiuk]

The only I liked about it was being able to fire off old out of date emergency flares

 

[HappyNomad]

I always hope the cünts will blow their hands and/or face off*. Does that make a bad person?

* Not those who properly and safely operate organised displays

 

[Conniesdad]

In Londonistan we are awaiting the diwalihalloweenbonfirenightnewyearseve fireworks, hence we will be having at least 3 weeks in England for the sake of the hounds.

 

[vampireuk]

Some chod doing his impression of a small-scale artillery engagement over the way. I thought the government had climbed aboard this sort of thing by limiting when fireworks can be sold now. FFS, the glorious celebration of the only person to ever enter the Palace of Westminster with the right idea is six weeks off.

Has someone slipped up with the rules this year, is this just a one off by some fuckweasel who's burning off some he's got saved up from last year or am I just a miserable old cunt...?

No, on reflection don't bother with No.3; I already know I'm a cunt.

They can be sold all year round so the usual mongs always get hold of them.

 

[MrBane]

Don't forget though - in regards to legislation, the use of fireworks before and after prescribed hours, that being 0700hrs and 2300hrs (0000hrs on Bonfire night) is punishable by having your cock kicked in.

However, for those of us that have tours of Afghan / Iraq with all the IDF, etc, it's the one legitimate time of the year we can assault these chods who throw fireworks about; as long as you're heard to scream "CONTACT FRONT! FIGHT THROUGH!" by neutral witnesses, you'll be absolutely fine as the PF will put a red pen through that case quicker than a dose of the clap goes through a mortar platoon.

 

[B42T]

I love fireworks me, especially when let off in a PTSD medic weirdoes garden and makes him freak out, the ferking hermer

 

[vampireuk]

The people who enjoy fireworks are the same people who have their back garden taken up by a trampoline.

 

[BugsyIV]

The people who enjoy fireworks are the same people who have their back garden taken up by a trampoline.

Ahh you knowy neighbours

 

[Kirkz]

The people who enjoy fireworks are the same people who have their back garden taken up by a trampoline.

You can get a lot more height from a rocket if it's launched from a trampoline though.

 

[ThunderBox]

The people who enjoy fireworks are the same people who have their back garden taken up by a trampoline.

Those with children? Makes sense.

 

[endure]

The one good thing about fireworks is that they send the terrier three gardens down into such a state that it shuts the fuck up for a couple of hours instead of spending half the night yapping at anything that moves.

Don't get me wrong - I love dogs to bits ( I had a boxer FFS) but that little fucker is the exception. I'd quite cheerfully beat it to death.

 

[StBob072]

Those with children? Makes sense.

It's a rare occasion when I give you a like, but you've hit the proverbial nail there!

Makes me wonder - are fireworks really becoming more of a nuisance, or is society just getting more and more po faced and fragile?

 

[AsterixTG]

The people who enjoy fireworks are the same people who have their back garden taken up by a trampoline.

I fly my pyros FROM my trampoline.

 

[StBob072]

The one good thing about fireworks is that they send the terrier three gardens down into such a state that it shuts the **** up for a couple of hours instead of spending half the night yapping at anything that moves.

Don't get me wrong - I love dogs to bits ( I had a boxer FFS) but that little ****** is the exception. I'd quite cheerfully beat it to death.

Mine has no problem with bangs. She just tries to out-bark it

 

[NSP]

The only I liked about it was being able to fire off old out of date emergency flares

Funny you should say that. My miniflares expire this year...

 

[NSP]

Don't forget though - in regards to legislation, the use of fireworks before and after prescribed hours, that being 0700hrs and 2300hrs (0000hrs on Bonfire night) is punishable by having your cock kicked in.

However, for those of us that have tours of Afghan / Iraq with all the IDF, etc, it's the one legitimate time of the year we can assault these chods who throw fireworks about; as long as you're heard to scream "CONTACT FRONT! FIGHT THROUGH!" by neutral witnesses, you'll be absolutely fine as the PF will put a red pen through that case quicker than a dose of the clap goes through a mortar platoon.

I recall reading reports (admittedly Daily Wail) of teenagers launching the things at passing bacon buggies and Plod doing chuff all. I'd have thought they'd be able to collar the little shits for reckless endangerment if not some charge pertaining to the misuse of explosives??

Edited to add: on reflection, the report that prompted this recollection was about the toerags shoving them through some old dear's letterbox. These days I'd have thought they could get the c**ts under the Terrorism Act and put them in a YFI forever...??

 

[NSP]

I love fireworks me, especially when let off in a PTSD medic weirdoes garden and makes him freak out, the ferking hermer

Coincidentally, there's a lot of still-serving Afghan/Iraq vets living in my village in preference to taking a quarter in the camp.

 

[CaptainRidiculous]

Yep.
Tell me about binky the cat who was so traumatised she didn't come home from mid October until post November 5, because the local twats were letting off bangers willy-nilly.

Huge vet bill to get her back into shape.