And how would you despatch your Ex...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by FaceLikeAPingPongBall, Oct 3, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Some Ex's are like herpes simplex, they just keep cropping up and always at the wrong time :x and they always will!

    So, in a perfect world where you'd never get caught, just how would you despatch your Ex' to the other side?

    I ask this as I can't decide - I do know I would revive her though, so I could do it all over again in a different fashion, but that's just me :p

    A mention at the trial when I eventually get round to doing the twisted witch in to the winning idea!

  2. I do believe it is still fair game to Take her smug grin off with an axe and p1ss on her mashed face whilst she struggles for breath. Choking on her own blood clots.

    Hope this helps.
  3. Excellent idea for the second time after reviving the bitch, just looking for a first method now or an improvment to the above for the second!

    Hang on, how many times can you kill then revive a person?
  4. After No1 wife and I parted, she went of to Cyprus, me to Blandford (!) I heard a while later that she was ill (quite seriously) and being the tw@t that I am, I kept the life insurance on her going for two years after the divorce. Unfortuantely, she pulled through :-(
  5. Well if Stargate SG1 is real as many times as you want. You just need to get yourself to another planet!
    Whats worse. Living with the ex. Or travelling ten thousand gazillion light beards to another planet???
  6. feed her to the pigs.

    she will never bother you again.
  7. I like it for the finale, let the pigs digest her then eat the pig and turn her into sh!t!

    RESULT! :lol:
  8. No. You then feed them Pigs to a shark. Then feed the Shark to a fat Fisherman called Boris...

    Then feed him to the pigs. and so on
  9. I couldn't inflict her on Boris, but I could do the sharks and then kill the sharks and feed them to baby cows and dine on veal for a while (but would that be as much fun as eatting her as a bacon buttie?)

  10. FFS! Just use a gs shovel, handy as a murder weapon and a can be used to bury the bitch!

    PS If you dig the grave afterwards, the soil will nicely clean any evidence off the shovel.
  11. However be sure to wear an RGJ beret if you are going to do this. Infact i would consult with a jacket first. They will be able to give you training.
  12. I like the violence of this like smashing them crocs that pop out on the arcades, but as I can't eat and turn her into a turd, I think I'll have to pass on this one :wink:
  13. Why not get her to go swimming down under. Steve Irwins killer may still be lying in ambush!
  14. It had to be my birthday or her wanting new shoes to get her to go 'down under'! :roll:
  15. No no no. You dont understand. What i meant was...