and for pudding ....


Hers a quick one for you, a quick n easy little cake recipe


175g unsalted Butter
175g caster sugar
3 Eggs, beaten
175g self-raising flour

3 tbsp strawberry jam
500ml double cream

Method 1. Set the oven to 180C/gas 4. Lightly butter two sandwich tins, each with a diameter of 20cm.

2. Cream together the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, and then slowly add the beaten egg.

3. Fold in the sifted flour and spoon the mixture into the prepared cake tins.

4. Bake for 20 minutes. Leave to cool and then remove from the tins.

5. Whip the cream until thick and use it to fill the sponge with the jam.

6. Dust liberally with icing sugar to serve.

Cut into 4 or 2 pieces depending how peckish you are and serve with a piping hot brew. yum


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Please tell me that the 'para' part of your username has absolutlely nothing whatsoever to do with log runs, maroon lids, C130's, LLP's, sim 45's and drinking your mucka's pish in Colchester.


Chocolate Cola Cake

Prep time: 25 mins Cook time: 50 mins Serves: Makes 10-12 slices


oil, for greasing
250g self-raising flour
generous pinch of Bicarbonate of soda
3 heaped tbsp unsweetened Cocoa powder
300g golden caster sugar
2 Eggs, beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
250g Butter
175ml cola
250ml Milk

For the frosting:

200g icing sugar
100g Butter
2 tbsp cola
2 tbsp unsweetened Cocoa powder
1. Preheat the oven to 180°C/gas 4. Grease a 24cm loose-bottomed cake tin.

2. Sift the flour into a bowl. Mix in the bicarbonate of soda, cocoa powder and sugar.

3. Stir in the eggs and vanilla extract.

4. Put the butter in a saucepan and melt over gentle heat.

5. Add the cola to the butter and stir to mix, making sure mixture does not boil. Stir in the milk and remove from the heat.

6. Quickly whisk the cola mixture into the dry ingredients. Mix gently but thoroughly.

7. Pour the mixture into the prepared tin. Bake for about 40 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean.

8. Leave to cool in the tin for about 15 minutes.

9. Meanwhile, make the frosting. Sift the icing sugar into a bowl. Put the butter in a saucepan and melt over gentle heat. Stir in the cola and cocoa powder. Bring the mixture to the boil, then pour it over the icing sugar. Beat until smooth.

10. With the cake still in the tin, pour the frosting over it and leave in the tin until completely cool.


Nicked this one from Rearparty

Chocolate truffle cake

Meringue - either make one - really thin (cooks in 15 minutes) or just buy a box of some and crush them up

14 oz of good dark chocolate
2tbsps of golden syrup
2 tbsps of rum (or good brandy)
500ml thick double cream

Melt alkyhole and syrup together with the chocolate in a pan

Whip the crap out of the cream until it looks like a thick custard

Pour chocolate sauce into cream - whip like a demon until it all looks the same colour

Crush the meringues and put in a cake base

Pour chocolate mix on top - stick it in the fridge to set then eat


Chocolate digestive cake (no cooking required, not suitable for women up t'duff)

8oz plain chocolate (or 50:50 plain:milk if you want it less rich)
8oz unsalted butter
8oz digestive biscuits
2oz white caster sugar
2 eggs

Melt chocolate. Melt butter. Beat eggs and sugar together. Break biscuits into quarters(ish).

Mix chocolate, butter and egg/sugar together. When thoroughly mixed, add chunks of biscuits.

Pour into a bread tin. Put in fridge for 4 hours. Eat.

Alternatively you can also use maltesers instead of digestive biscuits. The white maltesers give a slightly marbled effect.


Stole this onre from RP too

Syrup Sponge Pudding:

4oz self raising flour
4oz caster sugar
4oz butter/stork
2 eggs

6-8 tablespoons golden syrup

Grease a 1litre pudding bowl and put 3-4 tablespoons of golden syrup in the bottom. If you have an electric whisk/mixer use that to mix all the other ingredients together. If not, first cream butter and sugar then add eggs then flour. Pour into bowl on top of syrup. Use greaseproof paper/tin foil to cover the top of the bowl, with a pleat/fold in it to allow for the steam. Steam for 1.5 hours or whenever you are ready to serve. When ready to serve heat 4 tablespoons syrup with 1 tablespoon water and turn out pudding, pouring syrup over the top. Custard is good with this.


Stole this one too :oops:

Cadbury Fudge Cookies

2 cadbury fingers of fudge chopped up.
225g soft butter
100g caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
275g SR flour, sifted

mix them all together then roll into golf ball size, er balls.
heat the oven to about 180 C
line a couple of baking trays with grease proof paper
place in the trays about 4" apart as they melt down into biccy shape
cook for 15-20 minutes

when you take them out of the oven LEAVE them for a few minutes to cool as they're impossible to move without them crumbling when hot.

leave to go cold on a rack, if you can keep your greedy little mittens off them!


Book Reviewer
FiveAlpha said:
Please tell me that the 'para' part of your username has absolutlely nothing whatsoever to do with log runs, maroon lids, C130's, LLP's, sim 45's and drinking your mucka's pish in Colchester.

Royal Artillery Commando Cake

(1) Stick some ingredients in a mixing bowl and mix up.

(2) Bung in an oven until cooked.

(3) Eat.

"Royal Artillery Commando Cake, outdoing Para Cake since time began".



Penis Stew

1 pound of penis, ram's or bull's
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper

Scald the penis, then drain and clean
Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
Remove any scum, and then simmer for 10 minutes.
Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet.
Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender.
Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.

Apparently innards, including penis, once played a major role in Jewish cooking.

This recipe is taken from The Two Fat Ladies, Full Throttle by Clarissa Dickson

More weird cooking stuff here

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