Analingus

#3
What? You mean as well as muffing your arrse out? Splendid!
 
#4
The vile practice of Analingus runs contrary to the teachings of The Scriptures, especially if you perform the Godless Act on one of the rather large NAAFI birds who used to work down in Guzz. Yes, you know who you are, and I know you peruse this site...... :D
 
#6
You can't beat it.

If I ever find myself without a packet of beef monster munch, I've found that a good botty nosh is a great substitute. It gives off the exact same aroma as the popular crisp, particularly if the recipient has been wearing clingfilm-trollies.

Beware of clinkers though. I recently had to have a crown replaced, because I inadvertently bit into a petrified bum-raisin. I took it into the dentist still attached, he had to use a tyre-iron to prise the fcuker off.
 
#8
best to get a "certificate of personal hygiene" before wading in , you dont want to prise apart something that looks and smells like a marmite sandwich thats been locked in a tupperware box for 2 weeks.






or maybe you do ........ you sick puppy.
 
#9
I understand what your saying there shortfuse, but it can be a strangely hypnotic experience, to gaze at a less than sparkling bot.

There was a munter that worked in the NAAFI shop at Arnhem Barracks in the late eighties. One of the blokes got a good blimp at her ricker one night and told me later, that it looked like she'd been decorating her hoop with a pygmies dreadlocks. He cracked on anyway and described the honk as somewhere between a beef and tomato pot noodle and the mop store at Chester Zoo.
 
#10
at last , a discussion i feel i can "get my teeth in to !!"

i would agree with your points about the "hypnotic affects" of cheesey bum waft ,indeed the aromea of the aforementioned marmite is no mistake and is in fact an exact replica of the bottom emissions of the company founders wife , you either love it , or recoil gagging like some one just shat on your toast. some peoples bottom grooming isnt what it should be , i know we cant all aspire to the "well groomed" porn star look , but that is coupled with it's own dangers .... only this very morning whilst looking at a bit of "breakfast smelly" i saw one poor girl with a bottom that looked like a stamped on blood orange!!
 
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Guest
#11
The difference between the 'au naturel' hairy ringpiece and the slick porn star look is like the difference between unpasteurised and pasteurised camembert. There's no real comparison for the connoisseur. You miss out on scent, body and, yes, depth of flavour - particularly if you've allowed it to 'mature' for a while...
 
#12
Do you feckin' mind, I'm trying to eat my lunch. Nearly put me off my cheese-an'-marmite sarny. (But not quite!) :mrgreen:
 
#13
There's 'nowt better than a good ricker muffing, especially when combined with a "hummer" on the 'nad sack. The only downside is if the tongue of the licker has a fully formed handle bar 'tache above it! Seemingly though, most of our friends in blue barrack dress prefer this method :)
 
#14
Try it whilst indulging in reverse T$t W"£k. You glide back and forth facing her feet, Old boy between her pillows, she licks tea towel holder as you go. Much joy, she can also nibble, hum, fondle the tea bag too! Mmmmmmmmmmmm!!!
 
#15
chickenpunk said:
You miss out on scent, body and, yes, depth of flavour - particularly if you've allowed it to 'mature' for a while...
Before rewarding me with a good rimming.... Mr Cait insists that i slide into my terry towling belly warmers & 70 denier tights and proceed to do 20 laps of the bedroom.... just to ensure that intense aroma & tongue tingling affect, the kind you get from licking a 9v battery :D
 
#16
good girl ! i hope as he's chasing you around he does several "sniff tests" like a parent down the back of a kids nappy.

only 70 denier though ? oh i suppose it is still summer order.

do you leave the plastic "hygene strip" in your pants for extra impermeability and stench retention??
 
#17
shortfuse said:
do you leave the plastic "hygene strip" in your pants for extra impermeability and stench retention??
No i just grab a pair out the washing basket that i'd worn the previous week... all week.
 
#18
I have tried to understand som eof this thread but to no avail.... :?

Can someone please enlighten me to to this act of................. no can't describe, it words fail me
 
#20
Did anyone see the program "Toughest Pubs In Britain 3" on sky on Monday night? Interviewed a regular of "the peggy" in Aldershot who went by the name of "Scum" When asked about his name he explained that he loved sniffing birds arrses. In his own articulate words he said " I wont let 'em sit on my face if their arses are clean, they've got to be shitty and smell dirty"
Beautiful :D
 

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