An oldie but a goodie

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by old chef, Jul 9, 2012.

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  1. The Vicar's Salary

    At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
    There is a hush within the congregation.

    No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

    Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Glasgow , stands up and proclaims:
    'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Volkswagen mini-van to transport their children!'

    The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

    Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for all of his children!'

    More sighs and loud applause.

    Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
    'If the Vicar stays, I will give him free sex.'

    There is total silence.

    The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
    'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'

    Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
    'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F**k him'.
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