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An odd occurrence this week

Three days ago at approximately 2345, I was woken by er indoors telling me that her guts were on fire and severe bruising had occurred on her legs.
I got out of bed and had a look at what she was on about, and then called an ambulance, which duly arrived.
The crew was a male paramedic and a female paramedic.
They came in and looked at the problem, then decided to take her to the local hospital for admission.
She was discharged the following day.
When I picked her up and we arrived home she told me what transpired, and it goes like this.
As soon as they got her in the ambulance they started to question her as to whether I had attacked her in regard to the bruising, she stated to them that under no circumstances had I ever laid hands on her, obviously, they did not believe this because as soon as she was admitted to the hospital, one of the nurses asked the same question and was given the same answer, but the nurse spent time demonstrating to the doctor the pattern of bruising was consistent with someone applying force with fingers and thumbs to the thighs.
I do not know how the bruising occurred and neither does she.
Once she told me what was being implied I recalled that the female paramedic was sitting there giving me the side-eye and that when I thought about it the looks were quite accusatory.

I realise that medics et al have a function to perform, but from what I saw and heard after the fact, it was as if they were trying to find some way of causing a problem, especially after being told that nothing had occurred.
 
Three days ago at approximately 2345, I was woken by er indoors telling me that her guts were on fire and severe bruising had occurred on her legs.
I got out of bed and had a look at what she was on about, and then called an ambulance, which duly arrived.
The crew was a male paramedic and a female paramedic.
They came in and looked at the problem, then decided to take her to the local hospital for admission.
She was discharged the following day.
When I picked her up and we arrived home she told me what transpired, and it goes like this.
As soon as they got her in the ambulance they started to question her as to whether I had attacked her in regard to the bruising, she stated to them that under no circumstances had I ever laid hands on her, obviously, they did not believe this because as soon as she was admitted to the hospital, one of the nurses asked the same question and was given the same answer, but the nurse spent time demonstrating to the doctor the pattern of bruising was consistent with someone applying force with fingers and thumbs to the thighs.
I do not know how the bruising occurred and neither does she.
Once she told me what was being implied I recalled that the female paramedic was sitting there giving me the side-eye and that when I thought about it the looks were quite accusatory.

I realise that medics et al have a function to perform, but from what I saw and heard after the fact, it was as if they were trying to find some way of causing a problem, especially after being told that nothing had occurred.
Arse covering.
IF it had been DV and then your Mrs gets killed by you later along the line, they can document that they asked the relevant questions.
 
Arse covering.
IF it had been DV and then your Mrs gets killed by you later along the line, they can document that they asked the relevant questions.

Yes, now you mention it, but it still gets up my nose to be accused of something that I would never do.
I have been fuming about this since I found out what questions were being asked.
Edit to add
It appears that the hospital nurse spent some time trying to convince the doctor that the pattern of bruising was consistent with pressure being applied by fingers and thumbs.
 
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The same questions were asked 17 years ago when SWMBO took a tumble down the stairs in our quarter.

It's a thing apparently.

Tip - don't wear big dog slippers when pissed as a newt and navigating stairs.
 
A friend of mine whos a copper turned up to a DV incident a few years ago.
Everything done by the book, T's crossed I's dotted, every precaution that could have been taken was.
The victim and her two young children were murdered by the bloke a few months later. My mate was absolutely put through the wringer by her professional standards department who went through EVERYTHING she had done, looking to make her a scapegoat, after all shit rolls downhill and as a mere PC she was at the bottom.
In the end she was completely exonerated. She had done everything by the book and had done it superbly well, but they still tried to throw her under the bus
 
Yes, now you mention it, but it still gets up my nose to be accused of something that I would never do.
I have been fuming about this since I found out what questions were being asked.
Edit to add
It appears that the hospital nurse spent some time trying to convince the doctor that the pattern of bruising was consistent with pressure being applied by fingers and thumbs.

They don't know that, so I suppose everyone has to be treated like low life filth because of the few bad apples who tick those boxes.

A tougher justice system might focus any consequences for being that bad apple a bit better, but that's something you'd have to discuss with your MP over a barbed wire wrapped cricket bat.
 
They don't know that, so I suppose everyone has to be treated like low life filth because of the few bad apples who tick those boxes.

A tougher justice system might focus any consequences for being that bad apple a bit better, but that's something you'd have to discuss with your MP over a barbed wire wrapped cricket bat.

My bold, she told them that nothing had occurred, but they still tried to get her to state otherwise.
 

Cromarty

Old-Salt
Have dealt with more than one DV incident where the woman turned on us as we arrested her abuser. Nothing says "thanks" like a few kicks, scratches and a constant stream of abuse.
 
....it still gets up my nose to be accused of something that I would never do.
I have been fuming about this since I found out what questions were being asked.
Totally understandable and not helped by the stories over the years of over-zealous social services imagining harm where it doesn’t exist, however…..
Arse covering.
IF it had been DV and then your Mrs gets killed by you later along the line, they can document that they asked the relevant questions.
.....is not correct, you cynic, you.

Safeguarding is a big deal in medical circles these days, as most victims of abuse frequently arrive in hospital long before they’re on the radar of other services.

The deaths of people like Victroria Climbie and Baby P, for example, where the individuals have been treated and discharged to continue to be abused, caused a total root and branch reform of how prospective abuse is managed.

I used to work in acute medicine and more-or-less every other day we would get patients admitted who were being abused (usually older people being harmed by younger members of the household/family), but because of the balance of power didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

They would be treated and discharged, but if the medical staff are aware or suspicious of abuse they are obliged to record and report it.

These days if the mechanism of injury cannot be reasonably explained then abuse has to be considered, not as a paper exercise, but as a means of spotting a trend; if enough ‘I don’t know how it happened, doc’ admissions occur, then social services will look into it.

I appreciate that won’t help with your totally understandable anger at being falsely accused, but hopefully help you understand why the medics were acting as they did.
 
I've posted elsewhere on this forum about my previous mentally and physically abusive relationship. Long story short, I ended up with Domestic Assault on my record due to slapping my ex to get her to stop punching me after another prolonged assault when she was drunk. Police were called, I admitted I slapped her (stupid), was arrested, charged and went to court where I was admonished, Still on my record for 5 years. She got away with it as I must have given myself 2 black eyes and scratched my face to shit. Anyway!

Moving forward to meeting current fiancé. When we met I told her everything, as women can check now to see if you have a DV record, and rightfully so. So I was open from the start to let her know so she could decide if she wanted to continue the relationship.

Three years down the line, 2 plain clothed coppers knock on the door asking to talk to her, they go into the kitchen with her on her own and ask if she is ok and explain about my "violent" past. Missus is all wtf??? Seems someone had put in a report saying they were worried about my missus. She told them she knows everything, and asked who reported it. They wouldnt say, but considering the only people who know are family and my ex, it wasnt hard to work out that my ex was still causing trouble. She promptly told the coppers all about my ex and her violence and her madness, (current missus saw some of the emails my ex sent after I left), and told them she's never even heard me raise my voice in 3 years and the nightmare I went through getting over that relationship (anti depressants and therapy).
Coppers were apologetic but explained they have to go through the rigmarole as it had been brought up and DV cases were on the rise due to lockdown.
Understandable but not nice for the recipient.
 
Totally understandable and not helped by the stories over the years of over-zealous social services imagining harm where it doesn’t exist, however…..

.....is not correct, you cynic, you.

Safeguarding is a big deal in medical circles these days, as most victims of abuse frequently arrive in hospital long before they’re on the radar of other services.

The deaths of people like Victroria Climbie and Baby P, for example, where the individuals have been treated and discharged to continue to be abused, caused a total root and branch reform of how prospective abuse is managed.

I used to work in acute medicine and more-or-less every other day we would get patients admitted who were being abused (usually older people being harmed by younger members of the household/family), but because of the balance of power didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

They would be treated and discharged, but if the medical staff are aware or suspicious of abuse they are obliged to record and report it.

These days if the mechanism of injury cannot be reasonably explained then abuse has to be considered, not as a paper exercise, but as a means of spotting a trend; if enough ‘I don’t know how it happened, doc’ admissions occur, then social services will look into it.

I appreciate that won’t help with your totally understandable anger at being falsely accused, but hopefully help you understand why the medics were acting as they did.

With your last sentence, I can understand an individual not stating what may have occurred when they were in the presence of the perpetrator of any violence, but this happened once she was removed from any perceived threat ie in the ambulance and then at the hospital.
As I have stated, it just appears to me that they were going out of their way to find that violence had been committed, especially after being told that nothing had occurred.
 
I've posted elsewhere on this forum about my previous mentally and physically abusive relationship. Long story short, I ended up with Domestic Assault on my record due to slapping my ex to get her to stop punching me after another prolonged assault when she was drunk. Police were called, I admitted I slapped her (stupid), was arrested, charged and went to court where I was admonished, Still on my record for 5 years. She got away with it as I must have given myself 2 black eyes and scratched my face to shit. Anyway!

Moving forward to meeting current fiancé. When we met I told her everything, as women can check now to see if you have a DV record, and rightfully so. So I was open from the start to let her know so she could decide if she wanted to continue the relationship.

Three years down the line, 2 plain clothed coppers knock on the door asking to talk to her, they go into the kitchen with her on her own and ask if she is ok and explain about my "violent" past. Missus is all wtf??? Seems someone had put in a report saying they were worried about my missus. She told them she knows everything, and asked who reported it. They wouldnt say, but considering the only people who know are family and my ex, it wasnt hard to work out that my ex was still causing trouble. She promptly told the coppers all about my ex and her violence and her madness, (current missus saw some of the emails my ex sent after I left), and told them she's never even heard me raise my voice in 3 years and the nightmare I went through getting over that relationship (anti depressants and therapy).
Coppers were apologetic but explained they have to go through the rigmarole as it had been brought up and DV cases were on the rise due to lockdown.
Understandable but not nice for the recipient.

I can understand all that, but this was never the case in the circumstances that I outlined.
I was in bed, she was watching TV and woke me up to tell me she wasn't well, showed me the bruising, and stated that her guts was on fire, so I called the ambulance and she was taken away.
It wasn't until the next day once she came home that I found out what the medics were inferring, even after being told that nothing had occurred.
I am quite miffed about it as I can see now how easy it would be to get into the shit from someone else's prejudices and perceived behaviour of a male.
 
We had similar with mother in law after a series of falls. Paramedics took photos of the bruising..
1 in case of DV from daughter (my wifey)
2 in case of claim of injury caused to mother in law by them

It's an unpleasant world now :-(
 
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The same questions were asked 17 years ago when SWMBO took a tumble down the stairs in our quarter.

It's a thing apparently.

Tip - don't wear big dog slippers when pissed as a newt and navigating stairs.
Many years ago (in the dark days of Blair / Browns efforts to destroy the traditional family** my mates nipper - took a tumble down the stairs - cue his mrs being asked a series of probing questions about him and his behaviour to her and the kids.

No amount of her pointing out that he was at work when the accident happenned would change the approach. Notably he wasnt asked about her even though by her own admission she was the only one present.


**But before Labour started to blame societies ills on absent fathers - you know the very people they conspired to drive out of the family home and positively encourage women to deny access - Bitter me perhaps a touch
 
I've posted elsewhere on this forum about my previous mentally and physically abusive relationship. Long story short, I ended up with Domestic Assault on my record due to slapping my ex to get her to stop punching me after another prolonged assault when she was drunk. Police were called, I admitted I slapped her (stupid), was arrested, charged and went to court where I was admonished, Still on my record for 5 years. She got away with it as I must have given myself 2 black eyes and scratched my face to shit. Anyway!
Sadly the "system" default setting is to assume that no 5'2" woman is capable of battering the shit out of a 6" man. There's also the aspect to this that men are reluctant to admit they are getting a braying at the hands of the resident psycho-hose beast because it's not a "manly" thing to have to admit to. The "system's" attitude to male victims of DV is where it was with rape in the 60's and 70's (anything less than a married woman raped in the home by an intruder must mean she was asking for it).

As I've found for all manner of reasons if you are white, educated beyond GCSEs, male (in the sense you have remained the sex you were at birth), and capable of earning a "professional" income you are fukced when you try an apply for a job, sent for forced re-education about your assumed privilege and made to constantly parade your guilt should you actually defeat the diversity targets set to artificially raise the bar for you and get one, entitled to no help from the state when you need it and treated with constant suspicion by every state controlled entity you deal with.
 

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