An Important Question for The Slit-Arses

#1
Seeing as I have read all the books on my side of the bed I was lying there this morning and idly flicking through random sections of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Apart from an increasing sense of The Queg creeping up on me I came across all the details of what she agreed to participate in. Making a mental note I checked through to the end of the book and she really doesn't get up to much that is particularly good for morale but I live in hope.

Anyway, to save me having to buy the next two books and consequently developing a specific talent for colours could one of the Lumpy Jumpers on here confirm whether Anastasia Steele gets it up the Ronson in the second or third book?
 
#3
FT, did you sniff the pages to see if the missus had been flicking the bean whilst reading?
I often detect the aroma of week old haddock in the Romance/Ladies Porn shelves of the Library in which I work.
 
#4
Slit-arses?

Are these the fabled slanty-eyed horizontal smiles?
 
#5
Anyway, to save me having to buy the next two books and consequently developing a specific talent for colours could one of the Lumpy Jumpers on here confirm whether Anastasia Steele gets it up the Ronson in the second or third book?
I gather the second two are a bit shite, and were really just cashing in on the first. There won't be a fourth as everyone has realised that now
 
#6
FT, did you sniff the pages to see if the missus had been flicking the bean whilst reading?
I often detect the aroma of week old haddock in the Romance/Ladies Porn shelves of the Library in which I work.
Quality, best I have are chairs to sniff but I got caught wheeling it into the traps to whack one off, you can just take a paperback of a particularly haddock scent and nip off to the loo for a swift one!
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#10
The young lady who tends my follicles (see pic elsewhere) having read a few passages of Vol. One to me asked for my opinion, as a well-travelled and worldly-wise bloke. I managed to ask her if she wanted to test some of the fiction about 5 seconds before 'The Millstone' came out from under the hairdrier.

One day, God-willing; one day...
 
#11
Reviews from some of my punters.
Betty Bluerinse: I rubbed my nubbin raw.
Cynthia Clunge: 2 battery changes on my rabbit!
Bertha Wizardssleeve: I got all 3 volumes up me I was so wet!
Betty Windsor: And what do you do here young man?
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#12
Mrs B&T says that 50 Shades puts her in the right mood to have sex with me. I told her that 10 cans of Special Brew puts me in the mood to shag her.

I masterbate alot.
 
#13
Haven't read the first one let alone the other two.

I would imagine John Cleland's Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure published 1748 has more literary merit. Which I have read.
 
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